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Referrals Do You EXPECT To Get Them!!!

Yesterday was my oldest son’s twenty-fourth birthday, but we could not go out because he had to prepare some things for his class today (he teaches 7^th and 8^th grade math & science), so we took him out to dinner tonight instead. He loves barbecue food, so we went to this restaurant that specializes in barbecue ribs. It is a fairly new restaurant, and their St. Louis style ribs are unbelievable.

This was our second time there, and each time the service has been fantastic, maybe even better than the food. My wife and I were very impressed on how the waitress made it a point to constantly be at everyone of her tables. She really seemed to want everyone’s experience there to be a memorable one. She wasn’t the only waitress doing this, all of them serviced their table this way.

When we were getting ready to leave she made it a point to not only ask us if we would be coming back, but also asked us to tell our friends about food and the service. As we were leaving there was another staff person at the door who opened it for us, and asked if we were happy with the food and service. When we reply that we were very pleased with every thing, she took that opportunity to ask us to tell our friends and family about the restaurant.

On the drive home I could not stop thinking about how they went out of their way to make our dinning experience extremely enjoyable, but took every opportunity to ask us to tell our friends and family about them. It caused me to think more and more about the way I go about doing my business. I do my best to make my Borrowers feel like they are the most important Borrower that I have; and yes I do ask them to refer me to their friends and family, but not with the emphasis that the staff at this restaurant does.

Yes they wanted to provide me with excellent service, but in return they EXPECTED me to tell others to go there. Let me say that again, they EXPECTED me to tell others to go there. After all why wouldn’t I want to share this experience with my friends and family? If I was truly happy it should be a natural thing for me to do.

Now as I stated before, I do ask my Borrowers to refer me to their friends and family, but I do not think that I ask them to do this with the same EXPECTATION that the staff at the restaurant EXPECTED from me. I provide excellent service to every one of my Borrowers, so why don’t I ask for referrals with this same level of EXPECTATION? The answer is, I Don’t Know why I haven’t in the past, but I can assure you I will ask with that level of confidence and EXPECTATION in the future.

Do you EXPECT your clients to refer you? I am not asking if you ask for referrals. I am asking you to be honest with yourself. Do you really EXPECT your clients to refer you to their family and friends? If the answer to that isn’t YES, then you need to make the same commitment that I am making today. You need to EXPECT and be confident that they will refer their friends and family to you. You see this experience at this restaurant has convinced me that we will receive what we truly EXPECT to receive without doubt. Do you believe it, now EXPECT it.

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Info about the author:

George Souto is a Loan Officer who can assist you with all your FHA, CHFA, and Conventional mortgage needs in Connecticut. George resides in Middlesex County which includes Middletown, Middlefield, Durham, Cromwell, Portland, Higganum, Haddam, East Haddam, Chester, Deep River, and Essex. George can be contacted at (860) 573-1308 or gsouto@mccuemortgage.com

Posted by George Souto on 11/21/2006 11:45 PM

Comments (47)

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Originally posted at: George's Blog: Referrals Do You EXPECT To Get Them!!!

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47 Comments on Referrals Do You EXPECT To Get Them!!!

NOV

2006

Hi George, it's all about confidence; I read what you said and decided that was the key. Not boasting, puffed up stuff, just a good solid confidence that allows us to say refer me to your friends and relatives, not I hope you will. Very good lessons here.

Don't know if you will be posting or not since the Holiday is coming up, but if not, happy Thanksgiving to you and your family. (and of course Happy Birthday to your son!)

NOV

2006

Carole, excellent first comment on this blog. Yes I will be around a little bit, but we have a house full of friends on Thursday.

Carole, I hope you and your family have a Blessed and joyous Thanksgiving as well.

Thank you, George, for your blog post! And you're RIGHT!!! I ask for referrals, I pray for referrals, but I don't guess I've been EXPECTING referrals! And that's really a shame, because when I have a great service experience like the one you had at the rib joint, I do make it a point to tell friends about it and I often say things like, "You have to go there!" So why am I not holding myself to that very same task? Well, you can better believe I will be now! And for your motivating and challenging words, I am THANKFUL!

Angi, thank you for your encourging words. Now all you and I need to do is follow up on our commitments.

George, man, my mouth is watering BIG TIME! There are few things better in life than a nice spicy rack "O" ribs! Great way of weaving an everyday life event into an illustration about business. We can only expect referrals if the services we provide warrant it.

George,

Hey friend, I do not expect that they send me referrals, but I ask them when I close a deal, because I know that I gave them a good and quality one. I liked your post.

Hey dear Rich,

I agree with you, :) I am starving right now

Ray Saenz

Baby Back Ribs . I Had to Read This Post, it was too mouth watering to pass up. I prep my clients or customers when I first meet them and tell them I expect a referral cause I know they will be Happy with my service, by the time of closing, they have already thought who they will recommend.

The most successful agents I know have built their business on making their clients experience so positive that they are talking about it to their friends and relatives. They also always ask their clients for referrals.

Great discussion points. Part of the reason a majority of professionals have problems with being ACTIVE in the referral generating process and EXPECTING referrals is this:

1. Confidence
2. "D-V" or Damage Verge

I bold #2 to elaborate for a moment. This is because it is very real, and no one discusses it.

"Damage Verge" is an imagined psychological line in the sand you're afraid of crossing with people. You can be frightened that by bringing up the word "referrals" you'll push your clients, cross that line, and create damage.

Before you can even think about how to bring the subject up, your brain kicks into warp speed and says, "I can't ask them for a referral; they might get mad at me. . . feel upset. . . be uncomfortable. . . [insert your excuse here]. . . or worst yet, they'll just say, 'No!'"

What I'm referring to is nothing more than your conscious mind gets into the act, and you wrongly start envisioning that worst-case scenario coming to life. You see yourself offending someone, being presumptuous, asking the wrong way, feeling embarrassed, and finally ruining a prized relationship.

How to break through
There are several ways, and here is the very first step:

Be more in tune to your client's communication style. The Damage Verge is different for every client and customer, depending on that person's communication style. Some clients and alliances are direct, bold, daring and can handle honest, crude, raw discussions; still others can not. They are low-keyed, quiet, reserved, introspective. You must go slow and gentle with them so they are not instantly turned off. Understanding your clients' varying styles of communication and receptiveness to your goal of building your business will go a long way in cultivating referrals.

D.L.
http://www.marketing-referral-tools.com

excellent post! and a great one that i've bookmarked to talk about at our team advance. =) happy thanksgiving, George!

Geroge,

I believe in the law of believing. IF you ask and you see if happening then it will happen. Do it with zelous and you will see results.

I believe I have done the best for my clients and I believe they will take about the wonderful experience.

Before and after closing, I always comment that the best gift they could give me for a wonderful job done is to tell someone else their pleasant experience.

Rich says you will get the service only if it is warrant. I do not BELIEVE that way. BELIEVING EQUALS RECIEVING. This works.

So, if you do not ask then you diffenatly will not get the referral and if you ask you are 50 % of the way there. So open your mouth and believe and be thankful that this will happen. Then email me your rewards.

George excellent point! It really is all about attitude and expectations. Very well written George.

Pre-conditioning your clients to refer is so important. The best time for Loan Officers to condition them for referrals is at loan application. If they've made a loan app with you, they like you.

I think that when we give excellent service and go out of our ways for your customers - we should be confident and EXPECT referrals - very interesting comment by D.L.

ines

George.... this is a great reminder. great post. I agree 110% Carole in regards to the confidence factor. Brian brings up that he asks when writting the loan and Ray asks when closing the loan. How about in the beginning, the middle, and at the end? lol A little, simple campaign to all of your clients. And quarterly newsletters to stay in fron of those clients. And on the back of the newsletter, pre-printed slip for referrals....or something stating... "referrals always appreciated"

I have this on the back of my business card. " The referral of my service to your friends and family is the highest compliment I can receive." And when I ask clients...I throw in co-workers also.

Should we also say.... and from you enemies? lol

There is a very real relationship between perception and reality. The staff at the restaurant were very well trained. They created an atmosphere where the visitors perception is "this is a place I will definately tell my friends to come to."

Before I even read this blog, I just finished the first in a 6 part series of blogs on Relationship Building that is right on topic with this one.

Jeff, I LOVE that "" The referral of my service to your friends and family is the highest compliment I can receive."

I may steal it...or a variation of it.

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Well Jeff...I do not have a referral for you today, just a thanks for the quote and have a great Turkey Day.

Rich J, I am glad that I made you hungry for a change, you done that to me several times, and by the way they tasted better than they look. To the rest of the comment, what I see happening sometimes is great service being provided and the person taking for granted that they will be referred so they don't ask. I have been guilty of that on more than one occasion not often but it has happened to me, and then found out that someone they knew went to someone else. If I had not forgotten to asked for the referral maybe I would have found out about it earlier and have gotten the business.

Ray buddy, they had five different extra sauces to put on the ribs, from mild to where is the fire hose. Ray, I will be taking very opportunity that I get to ask for the referrals, from the time I meet them to when it closes, I will find someway to ask it just like at this restaurant. At the time of the closing like you do it is always a great time because now they are breathing again and happy. But it also usually requires another contact with them, and there is nothing wrong with more contacts with a happy Borrower, but if I start asking for the referrals from the very beginning then maybe they will have one for me by the time we close.

Peter, right in line with what I was thinking when I wrote my response to Ray.

Randy, I agree no matter how great the service you provide, still ask and expect to get.

D.L., I have never heard of the term "D-V Damage Verge" before. Your explanation of it make excellent since. I use to have those same fears when I first started in sales, I don't know where in my 32 of sales I lost that fear, but I do know that it wasn't easy to overcome. Thank you for adding to this topic here in my blog.

Leigh, I hope your team finds it useful and some of the comments on here are great add-ons to the blog. Happy Thanksgiving to you to.

Susan, I agree if we ask with doubt then why would we expect to get, but if we ask and believe then we should expect for our request to be fulfilled.

Angela, Yes it is the same son:> You probably provide such great service that it is very natural to be disappointed with anyone else that does not make the same effort. $200 Ouch I hope they cut your food and fed the two of you for that price....LOL

I think both parts are extremely important, telling them you want referrals and expecting them!

Hey George. Great Post!

Our in house company motto that hangs on a banner at our sales meeting is:

"Attitude is Everything"

Bryant, as always I appreciate the kind words from one of the best bloggers on here.

Brian, I try to do that, but some times I get so caught up in all the information the first time I talk to a Borrower that I get off the phone without asking and then I start kicking myself. This only happens every once in a while, but I need to really be conscious of it so I do not let it happen. Brian, I always look forward to your input, because it is always to the point.

Ines, thank you, we to EXPECT, but as others have mentioned a couple times, let’s not forget to ask first.

Jeff, I have seen that on the back of the cards of a few of the Realtors I work with, and they tell me that it works. It must because they are some of the more successful Realtors I know.

Rich S., I agree there is definitely a "very real relationship between perception and reality". I will have to stop by your blog and read your first part on this.

Rob, I am glad that you were able to take some thing that you could use from Jeff's response. This is what makes AR a valuable tool.

Chris, I agree, but it is one of them things that I need to constantly remind myself about.

Ginger & Roger, I think I might have to put some thing like that on top of my computer.

hey George.... copying my style of how I reply to comments in my blogs? lol

May you and your family have a Happy & Blessed Thanksgiving

Jeff, I am always learning....LOL. Happy & Blessed Thanksgiving to you to buddy.

I think I DO expect referrals. Nothing gets my goose more than a friend, or a friend of a friend who purchases/sells a home and doesn't use me!

Kaushik, that drives me nuts too.

"Mortgage George"

Geez...Not much left to say after all of that. Hmmm...

Oh, I know! We are professional diners. I don't cook so we eat out ALOT!

When we do we go to all the same places and ask for our servers by name. If they are busy, we wait. Why? They take excellent care of us. Little things like 3 creams with my coffee, an extra napkin for my lap, water with only 3 ice cubes...That kind of thing...

Now, having said all that, this is how we want our Sellers and Customers to feel. Spoiled Rotten. So much so that they will never look anywhere else to fill their Real Estate needs.

See I found a way to comment in spite of all the comments. Pretty good, huh?

TLW "The Lovely Wife"...Referrals Are Everything In RE...ROAR!

You are the Best little sister. Yep, if we EXPECT five star service from others, then we need to provide five star service ourselves.

I am going to ask Karen to give my comment 5 gold stars! :0)...TLW...ROAR!

Five gold stars in my book!!!

:0)...TLW...ROAR!

Happy holidays George. I think when you perform an outstanding job for your customers the referrals come automaticly. Many time poeple who have never bought a home don't know what to expect from their RE Agent or LO, when you provide outstanding service to them they may think that is normal for this business so I sometimes like to work with people who have bought a home in the past and blow them away with my outstanding service.

Leo, I try blowing them away with great service also, and having put that much work in servicing them, I don't take chances that they will not think of referring their friends and family to me. I find that BAD thngs happen to me when I assume and I don't like bad things, so I ask for that referral as often as I can throughout the process.

Leo, I would like to which you and your family a Blessed & Happy Thanksgiving.

George,

Wonderful post and great comments.I especially liked the one from D.L.

And Jeff's statement on the back of his card is great. I think I'll try it.

And you did not copy Jeff's style of commenting. I think I have been here longer.

TLW, I cannot give you a gold star for your comment since this is not my blog. Sorry:(

Thank you Karen.

But come on TLW really really wants one.

George,

I just left a closing today, and had the confidence when I asked for the referral. He said that his son is needing to refi because of a divorce. He is going to pass my info along to him tomorrow at dinner.

On the side, after a closing and asking for the referral, I try to send out a survey within 3 days. This lets me know exactly what the client thought. It also provides a measure of if that client is going to send a referral or not.

Good job in asking Jason, and the survey is a nice idea.

Refererals are an agents life line. Without them we are always working like new agents.

Vicky, that is an excellent way of putting it. I am going to have to remember that line, I like it.

George,

Great Post! I am adding this link To Ask or Not to Ask - Referrals that refers to this subject as well.

NOV

2006

Good post George!!! If you provided your client's with the type of service that you, yourself can expect, then you should be able to expect to receive referrals....but you still need to remind them by asking for it and letting them know that their referrals are important to your business. Like the restaurant, this is our business. Two thumbs up George!!! - Aloha

Blanca, I follow you link, and you did a great job on that blog. Thank you for providing the link to it and I hope that those who have read mind take the time to also read yours, they go very well together.

Kengo, you are right on with you comment. It must be tough being in the restaurant business on Thanskgiving, no time off.

Blanca & Kengo, & everyone else that I have come to know here on AR, If I have not stopped by your blog to wish you this, I want to take this time to wish you and your families a Blessed & Happy Thanksgiving.

George,

You have a great and safe Happy Thanksgiving day!

NOV

2006

Referrals make a Realtor.

Bad service makes you a used car salesman.

DEC

2006

Don't forget to ask for testimonial letters!

Ask for referrals during the transaction, when you do something that they are pleased with; ask: "who do you know who would appreciate this same kind of service?"

www.homerome.com

Baltimore,Md

DEC

2006

Margaret, that is a very good suggestion. Thank you.

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