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People do say some dumb things!

By Susan Neal

Real Estate Agent with RE/MAX Gold, Fair Oaks

March 29, 2011 05:34 PM

Years ago I was given a book titled: "The 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said." I hadn't browsed through it in a long time and for some reason it caught my eye this morning. Of course it was published in 1993 and we have all said a lot of stupid things since then and many of these people are no longer around, but here are a few of my favorites:

Things are more like they are now than they have ever been.
President Gerald Ford

I've been traveling so much, I haven't had time to grow it.
Bob Horner, Atlanta Braves, on why he hadn't grown a beard

China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese.
French President Charles DeGaulle

I support efforts to limit the terms of members of Congress, especially members of the House and members of the Senate.
Vice President Dan Quayle
(as you can imagine, a lot of the book's quotes are by Quayle, master of the malaprop and gaffe)

I want to gain 1,500 or 2,000 yards, whichever comes first.
George Rogers, New Orleans Saints running back

If crime went down 100%, it would still be fifty times higher than it should be.
Councilman John Bowman on crime in Washington, D.C.

All along the untrodden paths of the future, I can see the footprints of an unseen hand.
Sir Boyle Roche, Irish soldier

Exposure to dioxin is usually not disabling but may be fatal.
Dow Chemical Company, quoted in The Progressive

If you can't imitate him, don't copy him.
Yogi Berra

The similarities between me and my father are different.
Dale Berra, Yogi Berra's son

I move that all fire extinguishers be examined ten days before every fire.
City councilman during debate

This is the greatest country in America.
Ex-Houston Oiler Bill Peterson

Resolved, by this council, that we build a new jail.
Resolved, that the new jail be built out of the materials of the old jail.
Resolved, that the old jail be used until the new jail is finished.
Resolution of Board of Councilmen, Canton, Mississippi

It could permanently hurt a batter for a long time.
Pete Rose, speaking about a brushback pitch

There's someone warming up in the bullpen, but he's obscured by his number.
Jerry Coleman, San Diego Padres announcer

There are many more, of course, and some of them are famous, but since we have all heard them many times before, I didn't include them.

I wonder if there is a more up-to-date version of this book or one like it. I'm sure there must be, because we all hear goofy things said by famous folks all the time (and probably by those of us who are not so famous too).

**********
Susan Neal
Broker / Realtor
Century 21 Noel David Realty
Fair Oaks, California

Full time real estate services in Fair Oaks CA,
with friendly professionalism, 30+ years experience.
I work hard to give my buyer or seller a low-stress
transaction.

"Happy clients make me happy."

For all your real estate needs or questions, call me at (916)705-8951or visit my website at www.SusanNealFineProperties.com.

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Tammy Lankford,

Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 - Eatonton, GA

Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville

What a neat post to read before heading off to bed. I'll have to search amazon for an updated version.

Mar 29, 2011 05:40 PM

Liz Lockhart

Riverbend Realty, Cape Girardeau, MO - Cape Girardeau, MO

GRI, Cape Girardeau Real Estate

Susan~ Thanks for the laugh outloud quotes. If the book has not been updated, it surely should be. After all, we have the George W. Bush days that would be good fodder.

Mar 29, 2011 05:44 PM

Samantha Davault

Alexander Chandler Realty - Fort Worth, TX

Fort Worth, TX

Those were funny Susan. Thanks for sharing them.

Mar 29, 2011 05:49 PM

Pamela Seley

West Coast Realty Division - Murrieta, CA

Residential Real Estate Agent serving SW RivCo CA

Susan, thanks for the laugh. Funny thing is you know what they meant, even though it's not what they said.

Mar 29, 2011 06:08 PM

Doug Bullwinkel

E Mortgage Capital, Inc. NMLS 1416824 - Roseville, CA

Mortgage Loan Officer NMLS #281609

Thanks for the humor. We can all use a bit of a laugh at the end of the day.

Mar 29, 2011 06:25 PM

Adrian Willanger

206 909-7536 AdrianWillanger-broker.com - Seattle, WA

Profit from my two decades of experience

Susan, Great quotes, I love the Berraisms, I think Yogi son's has continued his father's legacy. Thanks.

Mar 29, 2011 10:44 PM

Jay Schmitt

Keller Williams Keystone Realty - Gettysburg, PA

Gettysburg Real Estate Agent

Always funny, it's amazing some of the stupid things we human say.

Mar 29, 2011 11:03 PM

Craig Rutman

Helping people in transition - Cary, NC

Raleigh, Cary, Apex area Realtor

And this is the reason I get out there every day. You just never know what silly/ funny/ stupid thing someone will say on any given day!

Mar 30, 2011 01:59 AM

Scott Warga

ACSI American Construction Specialists & Investigations - Gilbert, AZ

Those were great, I would love to find a book like that.

You could include a different quore in your email signature daily

Mar 30, 2011 04:41 AM

Ted Tyrrell

RE/MAXCamosun (Chatterton) - Victoria, BC

Selling Homes in Beautiful Victoria

Susan, there are 776 of these types of quotes. Cool. Great book for the bathroom.

Mar 30, 2011 07:48 AM

Susan Neal

RE/MAX Gold, Fair Oaks - Fair Oaks, CA

Fair Oaks CA & Sacramento Area Real Estate Broker

Thanks for your comments. I got a smile out of looking through this book again, and I'm glad you got a smile from the few I posted.

Mar 30, 2011 10:53 AM

Tony & Darcy Cannon

Aubrey and Associates Realty - Layton, UT

The C Team

Susan those are great, thanks for sharing them! I just saw Pete Rose at the Mirage hotel a couple of weeks ago.

Mar 30, 2011 01:43 PM

Team Honeycutt

Allen Tate - Concord, NC

Those were great Susan. Thanks for the laughs. And I agree with Liz, George W. probably has 776 of his own!

Mike

Mar 31, 2011 02:37 AM

Susan Neal

RE/MAX Gold, Fair Oaks - Fair Oaks, CA

Fair Oaks CA & Sacramento Area Real Estate Broker

I think the person with the most quotes in the book may be Dan Quayle. I tried not to pick on him or any other person by quoting lots of stuff from them, but one more doozie from Quayle is:

"I love California. I grew up in Phoenix."

Mar 31, 2011 07:42 AM

Ann Bellamy

Hard money lending for investors in NH and MA - Tyngsboro, MA

Lending to real estate investors since 2006

Resolved, by this council, that we build a new jail.
Resolved, that the new jail be built out of the materials of the old jail.
Resolved, that the old jail be used until the new jail is finished.
Resolution of Board of Councilmen, Canton, Mississippi

Resolved, that we won't need a jail because all the inmates will be gone.

Thanks Susan, for the laughs.

Apr 01, 2011 02:27 AM

Susan Neal

RE/MAX Gold, Fair Oaks - Fair Oaks, CA

Fair Oaks CA & Sacramento Area Real Estate Broker

Ann - That was one of my favorites too. You have to wonder if anyone was really paying attention to this resolution and how it was supposed to work!

Apr 01, 2011 02:08 PM

Jim Frimmer

HomeSmart Realty West - San Diego, CA

Realtor & CDPE, Mission Valley specialist

Here’s one that a lot of people have been saying, including Donald Trump recently: “Where’s Obama’s birth certificate?” I actually thought Trump was more intelligent than that. Give it a rest already. You can vote again in November 2012, providing that the judgment day doesn’t occur on May 21 of this year (you should see all the billboards down here!), and even if it doesn’t (I don’t think it will), whomever becomes president in November 2012 won’t even be sworn into office before the world ends on December 21, 2012 (according to the Mayans).

Apr 02, 2011 11:44 AM