In the end we are all fighting the same battle.

Real Estate Agent with Seven Gables Real Estate - Office in Tustin, Anaheim and Orange Cal BRE# 01988945

Sometimes it can seem like everyone's out to get you. There's the person in traffic who refuses to let you into his lane. The customer service representative who rushes you off the phone without helping even a little. The friend who didn't tell you the whole story; or never gave you a chance to speak up and just left you hanging all together, which left you feeling hurt.

We've all met these people. We've also been these people. We all have days when we're not as considerate, helpful, or honest as we'd like to be.

Sometimes it's because we're rushed. Other times it's because we're tired and irritable. And other times it's because we're hurting emotionally and maybe we've yet to really acknowledge and deal with it. Maybe we don't think we can, and so we let it fester inside while we go through our day, feeling hopeless, trapped, and alone in our sadness.

If you come across someone who gets on your nerves, or doesn't treat you with the same consideration and honesty you have treated them, consider that maybe underneath their rudeness or insensitivity is a pain that's yet to be healed. It doesn't excuse or justify their actions, and it doesn't mean you shouldn't stand up for yourself when necessary, or even, in some cases, make the decision to walk away from that relationship or contact all together.

But it may make it easier to feel a tad of compassion. I don't know about you, but on days when I am hurting, that's what I want and need: a friendly face that says, "I understand, and I do really care."

Posted by


Noemi Cardoso
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Gina Nugent
Donohue RE - Palm Beach, FL
Real Estate Agent - Palm Beach, FL

I made it my mission to stay away from negative, energy sucking people, especially in my private life that I can control. These people are toxic and I am happy to leave the compassion for them to other people who want to deal with them.

In business life, counting till 100 might might be a good solution if stuck with a horrible client. Great post, Noemi.

Apr 17, 2011 12:59 AM #13
Andrea Swiedler
Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage - New Milford, CT
Realtor, Southern Litchfield County CT

Noemi, congratulations on a well deserved feature! You are so right, we have been on both sides of this, most of us, and we hope when we are short sighted, in a bad mood, others will understand. Just as we need to understand better...

Apr 17, 2011 01:19 AM #14
Chuck Carstensen
RE/MAX Results - Elk River, MN
Minnesota Real Estate Expert

Your right.  Its something to keep in mind to be patient with other and there faults.  Often its the things we need patience for ourselves that get us upset.

Apr 17, 2011 01:43 AM #15
Bryan Robertson
Intero Real Estate - Los Altos, CA
Broker, Author, Speaker

I just let people like that keep on doing their thing.  More often than not, the idiot who is dodging in and out of traffic ends up in the same place I'm going only 30 seconds sooner.  I have a name for these people, taken from Harry Potter:

These people are "dementors".  Soul sucking creatures who are best left in cold places and ignored.

Apr 17, 2011 03:13 AM #16
Richie Alan Naggar
people first...then business Ran Right Realty - Riverside, CA
agent & author

I am always aware that the other fellow is fighting some sort of battle and act accordingly. If I can help, I will but I will not hinder or add to the burden...Noemi...thank you

Apr 17, 2011 03:39 AM #17
Michael (Mike) Robinson
Broadmoor Realty, Inc. - Long Beach, CA

We always take things so personal, when usually they aren't about us at all...

Apr 17, 2011 04:33 AM #18
Michael Setunsky
Woodbridge, VA
Your Commercial Real Estate Link to Northern VA

Noemi, excellent advice! Everyone has a bad day now and then. Thanks for the reminder.

Apr 17, 2011 05:04 AM #19
Carla Muss-Jacobs, Principal Broker (503) 810-7192 | Portland Metro Exclusive Buyers Agent | 100% Buyer Representation ~ 100% of the Time - Portland, OR
Buyer Focused ~ Buyer Results

And when I flare, they can think the same thing about me too!  LOL  I'm irritable, tired, have something deep down inside . . . yup!  As a professional, I think some people feel we're super-human, but we still have these very same issues.

Apr 17, 2011 05:49 AM #20
Robert Amato
Bob Amato of Empire Home Mortgage Inc - East Meadow, NY

Every time someone is rude to me I think that they must be having a bad day or are in a bad mood about something that is going on in their lives. I feel that people are always meaning to do their best in any situation, but sometimes things happen that prevent their best efforts.

Apr 17, 2011 05:55 AM #21
Paul Franciskato
Asset Brokering Services - Junction City, KS

This is a great perspective to have and I'm glad you wrote this post because this is something everyone can relate with!

Apr 17, 2011 06:08 AM #22
Virginia Dean
Keller Williams Tulare County - Visalia, CA
Real Estate Done Your Way

Thanks for reminding me about this.  I tend to take what I consider "slights" personally.

Will try to remind myself each day that everyone has something going on.



Apr 17, 2011 06:22 AM #23
Cory Barbee
San Diego, CA
Broker (760) 563-4022

I think that if someone is running into this on a consistent basis...focusing on having a differnt minset can go a long way to seeing a different picture around you.

Apr 17, 2011 06:43 AM #24
Greg Gardner
Blithernet Online Classifieds - Banner Elk, NC

Thanks for a great post.  I wish more made me consider my actions, like this did.

Greg J. Gardner

Apr 17, 2011 06:52 AM #25
Diane McDermott
Realtor®, GRI, Landis e2 Real Estate, LLC - Charlotte, NC
Charlotte NC Real Estate Market

With those I don't know well I try and give the benefit of the doubt, we all have days our patience supply is exhausted (some just have larger reservoirs!) and that can come definitely come across in our actions

Apr 17, 2011 07:08 AM #26
Barbara Altieri
RealtyQuest/Kinard Realty Group, Fairfield and New Haven County CT Real Estate - Shelton, CT
REALTOR-Fairfield County CT Homes/Condos For Sale

Noemi -- Very nicely said. When I encounter someone who I consider downright mean and inconsiderate, I have learned that I need to understand that they likely have something going on in their life which is causing this behavior and I need to handle the situation accordingly.

Apr 17, 2011 07:34 AM #27
Christine Donovan
Donovan Blatt Realty - Costa Mesa, CA
Broker/Attorney 714-319-9751 DRE01267479 - Costa M

Noemi - That's certainly another way of looking at it rather than just becoming frustrated and irritated.

Apr 17, 2011 02:35 PM #28
Sandy Acevedo
951-290-8588 - Chino Hills, CA
RE/MAX Masters, Inland Empire Homes for Sale

This is excellent advice and sometimes very hard to do. But when it works out well, you feel oh so much better. Thanks for the inspiration.

Apr 17, 2011 04:31 PM #29
Doug Bullwinkel
Envoy Mortgage - Roseville, CA
NMLS #281609

You never know what someone else is going through when you meet them out there in the world.  We all need to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, at least until they show us who they really are.

Apr 17, 2011 08:16 PM #30
Pamela Seley
West Coast Realty Division - Murrieta, CA
Residential Real Estate Agent serving SW RivCo CA

Noemi, I'm not perfect and have had my share of bad moments. Having compassion is not always easy, but something we should all strive for.  Especially when times are tough for everyone, it's better to step back and let the person be. If they're just having a bad day, they'll come back around. Some, however, are always that way and nothing will change that, except if they choose to.

Apr 18, 2011 04:47 AM #31
Lucille Botos
Lighthouse Properties - Temecula, CA

Very well said Noemi.  Its amazing how much we can endure from other people when we exercise compassion and remember that we don't know what might be going on in their lives. 

Apr 20, 2011 04:42 AM #32
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