Public Responds to Crappy Property Descriptions - Don't Let This Be You.

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Alan May wrote a post back in January that I was reminded of today. Theatre of the Mind!  In it, he described how Realtors are expected to write eloquent and appealing descriptions of their listings.  Well, from the looks of it, some people missed that one.  I was going through our local MLS looking at new listings today (as I do every day) and found the following property descriptions.  These descriptions were taken verbatim, and in their entirety.  Here are 10 in no particular order, and an appropriate response from a would-be home buyer.  The really sad thing is, I only had to go through about the first 80 to find these.  Can I have a drum roll please?



1. HUD property, Sold AS-IS.  HUD property Case #XXX-XXXXXX  Nice 3/2 home on just under 1/2 acre of land.  Enjoy its nice private lot. - Yes, I simply must go enjoy it's private lot. You got me.

2. Nice area - Really?  I wouldn't know from your description. 

3. "Short Sale" 3rd party approval required . 3 bed 2 bath in prime location. -  Excuse me?  Do any side dishes come with that?

4. Short Sale - Are you the same Listing Agent as #2?

5. Nice First Time Buyer, Investment or Retirement Home. Will make you a happy home with your personal touches. - OK, so this home is perfect for everyone on the face of the earth except a move-up, or vacation home buyer.  Gotcha.

6. Short Sale. Large back yard. Perfect starter home. Roof approx 5 years old. Drainfield approx 5 years old. - Drainfield huh?  And what flows in a drain field?  Crap. That's right. Thanks for the reminder.

7. REO Property - "Offers responded to within 24 to 48 hours."  SOLD "AS-IS."  All offers must include PROOF OF FUNDS & Complete DU.  This is a CASH ONLY DEAL. - Hey man, you don't have to yell at me.

8. Coming soon - I understand. You have to get your Madison Avenue advertising agency to write the description.  That's fine.  I'll just check back tomorrow.  NOT! 

9. Contract must be approved by estate's attorney.  ONE garage door opener present.  Wheelchair ramp at front door easily removeable.  Move-in ready, fresh paint inside and out.  LR/DR combo plus family room and large enclosed porch.  Room for table n kitch - What the hell happened?  Did you fall asleep?

10. NOT a short Sale! - Awesome!  Where do I sign?

This is what happens to Realtors who don't blog.  They get no practice writing, or exposure to those who can.  I'm sure none of these were written by any Active Rain members.  Right?  Please tell me yes.  Whew, thanks. 

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Alan May
Coldwell Banker Residential - Evanston, IL
Evanston & Northshore of Chicago real estate

more like theatre of the BLIND!



Apr 27, 2011 03:57 PM #1
Mitch Gover - Orlando, FL

Alan - Yeah, pretty sad huh?

Apr 27, 2011 05:37 PM #2
Leslie Ebersole
Baird&Warner Fox Valley - Saint Charles, IL
BRIX Group

Hi Mitch: I get stumped on descriptions. You see, all of my listings do have gleaming hardwood floors, spacious and bright rooms, a gourmet kitchen and an open floor plan perfect for entertaining family and friends ;-).

Apr 29, 2011 01:10 AM #3
Mitch Gover - Orlando, FL

Leslie - I'd expect no less from a Realtor of your caliber.  :)

Apr 29, 2011 07:26 AM #4
Tish Lloyd
BlueCoast Realty Corporation - Wilmington, NC
Broker - Wilmington NC and Surrounding Beaches

Mitch ~  So, you're saying "priced to sell" just isn't enough?  Maybe throw in the number of bedrooms and baths -- hey, gotta use your imagination; right?  Very good post and spot on!!!!!!

May 03, 2011 08:01 PM #5
Bryan Robertson
Catarra Real Estate, Inc - Los Altos, CA
Broker, Author, Speaker

I see descriptions that bad and worse.  I wish there were some rating system on an agents marketing abilities.  If they couldn't write a decent MLS desciption, YANK, there goes their license!

May 07, 2011 01:39 AM #6
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