Okay, we know everyone adores you anyways, but even you Brad Pitts and Angelina Jolie's can't get everything you want on looks alone. Sure, some of that physical attraction counts, but what counts even more is your subliminal body language. Even if people don't realize it, this is the thing that creates the vibes people love.
Here are 5 ways to get people hooked on you in one sitting.
1. Maintain Good Eye Contact
Eye Contact is huge. Imagine talking to someone who never looked at you, not even once. Rather, they scanned the room with their eyes: the walls, the floor, the ceiling-anything but you. Would you feel like they were listening? Even an unusually long look in the other direction would throw the whole conversation off.
Good eye contact establishes rapport. The listener should be giving more eye contact than the person speaking, as if receiving the information not simply by listening but through sight as well, which is sort of what is going on with all the body language involved.
Be careful, though, being too intense can have the opposite effect. Try to maintain good contact throughout about 70% of the conversation. Gentleman, the ladies are a lot better about making eye contact when listening, so if you're having issues watch the way they do it. Many have it down to an art.
2. Posture: Not the Time to Practice Your Gangster Lean
A confident, able individual has good posture, and a slouch creates the impression that you are unorganized, unambitious, and undisciplined. Good posture says a lot about someone, so this is something you should work on long before you walk into an interview. Use posture exercises to learn how to master this skill.
Also, a good listener leans towards the speaker, as if trying to get closer. This is a temporary submissive gesture to ease the exchange of ideas. Don't get so far up in their grill that they can diagnose your halitosis; just lean forward a bit as if making a conscious effort to hear their words.
When its your turn to speak, remain in a more neutral position. Don't lean back as if you own the place or you might seem unnecessarily arrogant. Sit up straight and save the leaning for when you're listening.
3. Nod Your Head
Keeping your chin up and head level is a good way to convey inner confidence. When you are listening, tilt your head slightly and as long as you agree with what they are saying, give an occasional nod to show that you are following along. If you do not agree with something, be careful about nodding to show you are listening, because it is generally regarded as a signal of consensus.
This is another area where women do better than men. It really does pay to watch a woman's body language at work, fellas-they are much better at expressing themselves physically than we are. And they are fabulous listeners.
Watch a female social butterfly at work. Great eye contact, the nodding head, and leaning in towards the speaker-they seem to have it down to an art but it simply comes natural to them.
4. Flash A Nice, Toothy Grin
An animated face is an important part of being appealing. No one likes to talk with someone who seems to have a somber mood, never smiles, and conveys no personality with their expressions. Don't go with the orangutan look or the cheeseburger grin, but when you smile, smile with enthusiasm. The last thing you want to do is fake your emotions, as it is impossible to force a smile with your eyes, but think of it as wearing your emotions on the outside.
Show off those pearly whites too; just make sure you pick that big green chunk of wheat grass out from between your two front teeth before the interview. This is not a good way to show your boss you are getting your veggies.
Standing closer to someone also creates rapport, but this is a dangerous one because getting too close too quick will make many people extremely uncomfortable. It's best to try closing the distance naturally a little at a time and judge their reaction.
This can be really tricky in intercultural communication. Americans, for instance, tend to keep a lot more distance between each other when speaking while certain cultures in the middle east will often get right up in your face.
If they start stepping backwards, do not try to close the gap again-you may even want to step back a little yourself to show you're not trying to overcompensate and that you know the boundaries have been crossed. If they turn and start running towards the nearest exit-please don't chase them. They do not want to play.
This is just a brief run-down of some ways body languages convey messages to the people we meet. If you want to bring an edge to an interview like no other applicant can, saying more is not the key, at least not with your lips. But a simple change in body language can create a lasting impression that doesn't go away.