I love it when you are able to be completely honest and open with someone; I am not one for "brushing things under the rug." There have been occasions where people have inadvertently hurt me or caused distress and in the past, I have let them know, lovingly, that while I'm sure they didn't mean to do it and it was completely unintentional, that this particular action DID hurt. It's in their reaction(s) to being completely honest that I have often run across the following:
Instant denial. They don't take a moment to think about what you might be saying no matter how delicately you mention it they immediately take it as a personal attack. And their reaction is to lash back at you, oftentimes with words that have absolutely nothing to do with the discussion at hand. Most of the time, after a Feng Shui Consultation, the TRUTH will present itself first.
If I have accidentally hurt anyone for any reason, I will always stop to consider and reflect on what they are saying. Perhaps I was too blunt about something I was thinking or just spoke too fast. In any case, I know ONE THING: I will not lash back (which is not to say that after careful reflection I won't stick to my original opinion) but I will always apologize for inadvertently hurting someone. I will be as direct and honest with them as they are with me so we can clear up any misunderstanding, get it out of the way and MOVE ON. I will not shoot back with an angry, defensive retort, I will Step Up to the Plate as far as my responsibility of the situation; even if they took something I said and it was somehow misconstrued, I will stop to explain what I meant---and why.
Lashing back at someone when they are being honest with you is not going to help ANY situation which may come up in ANY relationship, business or personal. If you've hurt someone in any way and they are honest enough to let you know, it means to me they care enough to work it out and give you an opportunity to explain what you may have meant and most of all, to apologize for it being taken the wrong way.
I have found that this policy of total honesty is what gives us the best foundation to move forward. When you are honest with someone and they lash back without taking any responsibility, they have forgotten a universal principle: IT TAKES TWO. And it tells me they are not interested in working anything out, they are ready to take it as a personal affront and go their own way. Something that shows me is if they're willing to take any of the responsibility and if they are at all interesting in saving the relationship.
The next time someone tells you something you don't particularly want to hear, step back for a few minutes (or overnight) and think of YOUR possible part in this problem. Step up to anything you may have inadvertently done wrong or that was misconstrued so they know what you meant and always admit that you did not mean to hurt or offend them in any way. Be as honest and direct with them as they are with you; it takes two to resolve differences and, let's be honest, if people really care about you they won't be so willing to just walk away.
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