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Share your ugly scripts!

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Education & Training with Sell with Soul

I'm working on creating a collection of "unsoulful" scripts - y'know, the kind that make your stomach kind of churn when you imagine yourself giving these ridiculous, patronizing, oh-so-transparent sales pitches & closing schpiels?

To get myself started, I dug out my Guru books and am finding lots of great stuff. It's a lot of fun, actually.

Wanna help? Please share your UNfavorite script or even just the jist of it. I can take it from there.

salesmanHere are a few examples (and, I'm really really sorry if you use these and are offended by my calling them ridiculous. But, c'mon...):

"No, I won't negotiate my listing commission. If I can't hold firm on my own fee, how do you expect me to negotiate effectively for you?"

"I take listings for eight months or twelve months. Which do you prefer?"

"How would you feel if another buyer purchased this home tonight while you're still making up your mind?"

"Can't you imagine little Jimmy playing catch with his Dad in this wonderful back yard?"

And of course, everyone's favorite:

"Oh, by the way, do you know anyone who might be interested in buying or selling real estate?"

 

swshttp://www.sellwithsoul.com/

copyright Jennifer Allan 2007

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Comments(24)

Jennifer Allan-Hagedorn
Sell with Soul - Pensacola Beach, FL
Author of Sell with Soul

Please note - I'm NOT trashing scripts in general - I think we all "do" scripts every day., e.g. "Hi, how are you?"

Which, by the way, I should have mentioned in the blog... your COOL scripts are appreciated too!

 

Oct 06, 2007 03:39 AM
Rob Baldwin
US ECO-GREEN REAL ESTATE INC. - Santa Clarita, CA
REALTOR, Santa Clarita

Jennifer, I liked all those scripts you mentioned in your post. I am hoping that if you are asking for these dorky scripts you are working an putting something amazing together.

Amanda, I really liked one you offered. "we are interviewing your competition....fair enough we are interviewing yours" Classic! I am going to have to remember that one.

Oct 06, 2007 08:52 AM
Linda Scanlan
A Fan of AR - Burleson, TX
Jennifer - I think you were sitting in the training room of my previous broker! I never felt comfortable using the commission script.
Oct 12, 2007 10:30 PM
Michael La Fay
Meadow Lakes Supply Co. - Wasilla, AK

I don't like scripts which is probably going to bite me in the tookus in the next few weeks with my coach... but they are so wrote, and everyone I've used scripts with HATES them.

It sounds like a telemarketer... you don't care whether or not they are listening.... you are going to get your point across anyways...

I have found going with the flow works sooooooooo much better! BUT I LOVE THE INTERVIEWING YOUR COMPETITION QUIP!  I will hold on to that one forever!

Oct 15, 2007 10:52 AM
Amanda Evans
DFW Living - Fort Worth, TX
Real Estate Broker - Fort Worth Texas

Wait 'til you see the looks on their faces when you use it right after you've spelled out your "over the top" proven marketing plan.  It's like musical chairs at the speed of light when control of the sale shifts in your favor.  

 

 

Oct 15, 2007 11:20 AM
Jackie Peraza
Perceptions AdverStaging(TM), LLC - Framingham, MA
Home Stager - Framingham, Massachusetts

"I partner with successful Realtors like yourselves....." (um....do I need to elaborate?)

I really wish someone would use that competition line with me....I want to use that response!

Jackie

Oct 15, 2007 12:58 PM
Anonymous
Vicki

Ok, these are good but you can't leave out Mr. T. H's LOCK BOX SCAME!! pg 76,77

It goes like this...

"Chuck. to prove to Midge how concerned we are with your security, would you take out your house key for me? Chuck, drop it in there (the lock box). Go on."  Now he says to his readers..... Now, where's the key? In the box. Where's it staying? In the box.  Are you kidding!!!!  

 Vicki

Oct 19, 2007 01:55 AM
#11
Ginger S
Wilkinson & Associates, Wilmington NC - Wilmington, NC
Wilmington NC Real Estate & Relocation~

 After I have previewed your home and presented my marketing plan and we can agree on a price, is there anything that would prevent you from signing with me tonight?

Ginger 

Oct 28, 2007 01:38 PM
Kathy McGraw
CELLing Realty - White Water, CA
Riverside County CA Real Estate
Scripts....don't use them, never have.  I just found this as I have nevber gone to any of the groups you have it posted in :(  Ummmm, so where are all the people????  I now want to see the comments :)
Oct 29, 2007 12:48 PM
Jeanette Hemmer
Coldwell Banker - Clarksville, AR

Even after prospective buyers are in the kitchen, you look at them and say "And this is the kitchen"!!

Gee, I am glad I pointed that out to them, otherwise they may have never known.

Jeanette Hemmer, Re/Max, Johnson County, Arkansas

Oct 29, 2007 02:14 PM
International International
International, IT

AMANDA - This one-liner is CLASSIC and I love one-liners. Bravo! I gotta remember this one.

OOOH!  How about this one as the worst one ever:
"We need to sleep on it." ....."Great!  I'll take the couch!"

Oct 29, 2007 09:10 PM
Michelle Pine
Kris Weaver Real Estate Team - Virginia Beach, VA
ABR, GRI, Hampton Roads Real Estate

For undecided buyers who want to sleep on it... "do you want to sleep on it, or sleep in it?" 

Oct 30, 2007 04:24 PM
Kate Elim
Dockside Realty - Spotsylvania, VA
Realtor 540-226-1964, Selling Homes & Land a

JENNIFER...I am calling it quits for the night but before I do I wanted to say thank you for this group.  Love the logo, symbol, whatever. 

I'm sure I'll be able to think of some scripts when I start thinking again.

Oct 30, 2007 04:49 PM
Jennifer Allan-Hagedorn
Sell with Soul - Pensacola Beach, FL
Author of Sell with Soul

Thanks for all the goodies, guys! My Dorky Scripts project is backburnered until after the convention, but I AM collecting them, so keep them coming!

I did, however, compile a Dorky Announcement Letter collection which I'll share excerpts of soon.

Oct 30, 2007 11:48 PM
Allison Stewart
St.Cloud Homes - Saint Cloud, FL
St. Cloud Fl Realtor, Osceola County Real Estate 407-616-9904
Love the interviewing the competition line!  That is a keeper!
Nov 02, 2007 10:56 PM
Amanda Evans
DFW Living - Fort Worth, TX
Real Estate Broker - Fort Worth Texas

I REALLY hope this blog gets more attention soon!  I was have fun with it.

I thought of another one...I have to say the worst thing I have ever heard about is when a consumer says that they need to pray over it and the salesperson (all industries) offers to lead the prayer or says God sent them over.  Those little moves warrant someone being kicked in the baby maker in my opinion. 

Nov 03, 2007 02:46 AM
Karen Anne Stone
New Home Hunters of Fort Worth and Tarrant County - Fort Worth, TX
Fort Worth Real Estate
Hi Jennifer:  I don't have any "ugly" scripts.  They are all "beautiful."  It's just that some are much more beautiful than others. <g>
Nov 08, 2007 05:00 PM
Karen Anne Stone
New Home Hunters of Fort Worth and Tarrant County - Fort Worth, TX
Fort Worth Real Estate
How bout this ?  A referral script you would say to someone in your SOI:  "Jennifer, the next time you are in a conversation with someone, and they mention that they... are thinking of moving to a larger, more spacious home... please don't keep me a secret."
Nov 08, 2007 05:03 PM
Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Jennifer, what a fun topic. You are a tongue in cheek person like me. Here's one of mine that rings hollow:

"Well, Mr. Buyer, I ONLY work "exclusively" with my buyers and since you can't agree to that I will have to wish you the best of luck in looking for a house." YEAH, like we say that all the time to Mr. Million Dollar home buyer.

Nov 14, 2007 12:15 AM
Josette Skilling
Keller Williams Capital Properties - Bethesda, MD

I feel that scripts are bad, I have felt that scripts are bad and I have found that scripts are bad at either 3:45 on Tuesday or 6:15 on Wednesday.  Because when I'm negotiating my own commission before I do anything else I've just put me me me ahead of everyone else.

And, oh by the way, I'm really brand new in real estate - just got my license yesterday - but if you know of anyone who is thinking about buying or selling let them know how competent I really am after that course packed with littoral and riparian rights.

I just looooooove scripts.  They are so me. Not.

Nov 14, 2007 12:44 AM