Did They Betray You?

It is a very bad feeling and hard to not take it personally...but you have to shake yourself off and move on.

Jon, I'm with Debe - Bill's story stuns me. A person who would do that to someone who had done so much personally and financially sounds like ...well, I don't know how to put it into words. All I can say is it takes all kinds.

While many of us have had this happen, after giving and giving to clients, Bill's story takes the cake.  I had a divorced woman who had full-time help Monday through Friday and 3 young children.  Time after time, I'd arrive on a Saturday to show her property or Sunday for an Open House and had to clean up the dishes and counters, then make every bed in the house, including hers, before the buyers arrived.  Then one Sunday she stopped into another Open House and bought it, while I was hosting one at hers.  She said the other agent said she could get a better deal for her on the house if she bought it through her.   

There are a lot of raw nerves here.  It looks like it happens to all of us.  We try to develop thick skins in this business but it's often hard to do.  I've learned to stew about it for an hour or two then move on.  If we let it interfere with our daily living it will eat us alive.

Every single morning I eat:

1. 2 whole, organic eggs.
2. 1/2 cup of egg whites.
3. onion.
4. Spices . . . all scrambled together.

Jon,  If someone could figure out what causes people to choose one agent over another, they would really have gold. I guess it doesn't hurt to aspire to be their agent for life.  Do the things you think will get you there and then if it doesn't happen on some occassions, at least you can feel good about yourself that you gave it your best shot and there's nothing else you could have done. 

Jon,   Great comments and blog.

Years ago I remember sitting at my kitchen table in my second year in the business, crying my eyes out because a friend had called and told me he was going to use someone else as his agent.

It wasn't my short time in the business...it wasn't anything I did...the other agent was in his prayer group and he really liked the guy.  He gave him the deal and I sat there and cried.

I have never experienced the pain in this tough business that I experienced that night.

But I stayed in touch and kept calling on this friend over the years and ended up doing at least 3 more transactions with him.  

One thing I also vowed and have held firm on is that I have never...even that first time...held a friendship or family relationship hostage to them using me as their agent. 

Oh, it still hurts on the rare occassion when they use someone else...I just no longer cry about it.

I do see more and more young people wanting to work with agents their age. That's okay, they think those agents get them more. Maybe we should be concentrating our efforts on those buyers and sellers who are most like us. That's what buyers and sellers are going.

Jon, I love your attitude about it.  I think some people have the temperment to let a shock or disappointment slide without feeling like they've been hit by a truck. 

I agree with you.  I usually take a long hard look in the mirror and can answer the question myself if Im being really honest.  It keeps me on my toes as I really try hard to keep people happy.  Too hard I think.  I think some people see my willingness to accomodate as desperation sometimes and that takes away their confidence in me.  So, Ive learned to be more logical and reasonable in my efforts to please. Thanks for the post! It's water under the bridge for sure.

Jon,  Great Post and information.  It is business.  Often it has nothing to do with us or our ability, it has to do with what is going on in their lives.  Wish them well and move forward with business.  Keep the relationship intact.  You never know what the furure brings.  And that is what being a true Professional is all about.