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"Call first if bad wetter" - Making a Splash on The MLS

By
Real Estate Agent with Sotheby's International Realty BRE # 01362887

I have concluded that proofreading is officially obsolete. In fact, reading itself may have gone the way of the corset. Word is out that I am prowling about trying to catch MLS offenders, but they fear me not. In fact, they are becoming fragrant. Uh, I mean flagrant.

Thanks to Fred Glick of sunny Philadelphia and L.A.'s own Jane Peters for collecting some of this great flotsam and jetsam.  Check out these bloopers:

Off With Their Heads!

"Twilight Open. RSVP. Light sinner served." (Hosted by King Henry VIII, I presume.)

"Wood-brning stoned fireplace" (Bridge-burning stoned agent.)

"Needed: Property shower" (Offered by Scrub-Yo'-Back Realty.)

"Bogus offered" (Jackass delivered.)

"Sellerr wants sole" (...So he can kick you in the arse!)

Blame It On The Altitude

"Amaxing views of snot-capped mountains" (Yeesh - imagine the moguls on that slope!)

"Bonus if accepted offer by Mamorial Day" (Leave it to men to come up with a day to honor breasts.)

 "Call for appt for grope preview" (I already had that preview in High School.)

Clever Eye-Catcher of the Week

"For Sale By Ogre" (Either this the home of Dick Cheney, or it's great marketing ploy.)

Jane's Corner

"Hug balcony ideal for entertaining" (Something tells me this connects to the bedroom...)

And This Week's Auto-fill Madness:

"2 bd contemptible house" (Two-bit committ-able agent.)

"Call first if bad wetter" ( That's rather personal, isn't it?)

"Hind-End appliances" (Horse's a__ typist)

"Beautiful shades of  mellow" (Thank you, Donovan. Now pass the joint.)

 For More Real Estate Bloopers, visit www.SherlockOfHomes.blogspot.com/ or Click Here for Gwen on Agent Genius.

Show All Comments
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Jane, people look at me like that even when I'm not laughing.

May 20, 2011 09:31 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Juli, I have a notebook full of comments I haven't used because they are so nonsensical one would think someone had detonated an Alphabet Soup factory!

May 20, 2011 09:34 AM
Bruce Walter
Keller Williams Realty Lafayette/West Lafayette, Indiana - West Lafayette, IN

Gwen, as far as the proposed Mamorial Day Holiday I am gravitating toward it being proposed by the government workers as they like to milk every day off they can.

 

May 20, 2011 11:46 AM
Cindy Marchant
Keller Williams Indy NE 317-290-7775 www.marchantteam.com - Carmel, IN
"Cindy in Indy" , Realtor, Fishers Real Estate

Where to you find these...I thought about this earlier today...to do a funny post...but alas no material...guess I'll just reblog yours!  lol

May 20, 2011 11:59 AM
Maya Swamy
Funds Available - Long Beach, CA
Ph.D. Long Beach, CA - fundsavailable.com

Just discovered you. I love "bogus offered" A little truth in advertising?

May 20, 2011 12:31 PM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Bruce, the holiday is a figment of the male mentality inspired by the need to scale all mountains.

May 20, 2011 12:53 PM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Cindy, the more you look, the more you'll find. Check out your local real estate ads and open house guides. They are nothing short of high comedy!

May 20, 2011 12:55 PM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

@ Long Beach - I think what is "bogus" is the agent!

May 20, 2011 01:05 PM
Andrea Swiedler
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices New England Properties - New Milford, CT
Realtor, Southern Litchfield County CT

Ah Gwen, it must be Friday evening here in CT because here I sit, lounging on my couch, laughing my fool head off at the expense of some unsuspecting seller and foolish agents. Ahhh.... nothing like a good Friday night laugh...

And the best part of this is, it will never end! Of that I am sure!

May 20, 2011 01:23 PM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Andrea, it never ends. Do you remember June Cleaver translating jive in the movie "Airplane? We could use her to decipher the MLS - she'd be more valuable than the Rosetta Stone! Have a laugh-filled weekend in beautiful Connecticut - G

May 20, 2011 01:43 PM
Andrea Swiedler
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices New England Properties - New Milford, CT
Realtor, Southern Litchfield County CT

Gwen, oh my, you just reminded me of the best website ever, seriously! And perhaps these agents already know about it and use it to spice up their marketing technique.

Have at it, I love this website, called "The Dialectizer". I have been using it for years, how could I have let this slip my mind. What a great marketing tool... (forgive the link please, not good manners I know.)

Let me show you how it works. I took the first paragraph in my comment, run it through the Dialectizer, put it into my favorite, which happens to be Swedish Chef.... et voila!

Gvee, ooh my, yuoo joost remeended me-a ooff zee best vebseete-a ifer, sereeuoosly! Und perheps zeese-a egents elreedy knoo ebuoot it und use-a it tu speece-a up zeeur merketeeng techneeqooe-a. Bork Bork Bork!

Perhaps you want to use the "Moron" dialect...

Gwebuhn, oh my, you dgust remindid me of de best webuhbsite ebeh, sehiously! Doihh, COOL! And pehhaps dese agents already know bou' it 'n use it t' spice up deir marketigg technike.

See what I am saying???? Not as good as June Cleaver... but it works for a laugh, LOL.

May 20, 2011 02:30 PM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Andrea - this is just fantastic!!! It seems that many agents already know about this and have been converting their listing remarks to MORON for a long time. I'm going to check it out right now. There must also be a translation category for Enebriated-Stoned-n-Brain-dead. We see that a lot, too. Stupidity has its own language!

May 20, 2011 02:46 PM
Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400
HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400 - Pikesville, MD
Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome

Thanks to the multitude of members who sent me over to you!  I promise to use spell check for this comment. Whew, I'm OK!

Margaret

May 21, 2011 03:24 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Margaret, I'm so happy to have you abroad. I mean "aboard" :) We all make mistakes - I'm just after those who commit egregious grammatical and spelling gaffes.

May 21, 2011 08:15 AM
Margaret Goss
@Properties - Winnetka, IL
Chicago's North Shore & Winnetka Real Estate

I can't believe that you're not featured each and every week - your comments are way funnier than the bloopers!

May 21, 2011 11:41 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Thanks, Margaret - I have always been the class clown...and sometimes the class dunce!

May 21, 2011 09:04 PM
Mary Sheridan
Keller Willliams - 1033 Hamilton Place,Johnson City TN 37604 - Johnson City, TN
Creative Marketing, Buyer Agency 423-943-7655

I'm delighted to have discovered Gwen Banta today!   Sometimes I need a laugh, and some of these will be fun to pass along to clients who also need a laugh. 

My favorite typo from a long time ago was the "loving room" - not the bedroom.

May 22, 2011 08:25 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Mary, that's great! may I use it in one of my blogs and reference you?

May 22, 2011 08:57 AM
Donne Knudsen
Los Angeles & Ventura Counties in CA - Simi Valley, CA
CalState Realty Services

"Amaxing views of snot-capped mountains" (Yeesh - imagine the moguls on that slope!)

ROTFL

Gotta be in LA! 

Jun 03, 2011 07:56 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Donne, you're hysterical! My friend (who made that colorful error) said the mountain was Mount Mucas. I heard skiing is great as long as you don't get blown away.

Jun 03, 2011 02:28 PM
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