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It's not "personal" . . . #in

By
Real Estate Broker/Owner with Pareto Realty TN #251071

Posted on May 20, 2011 by Barry Owen

Doesn't matter:

How big and strong you are . . .

How "bulletproof" you believe yourself to be . . .

How marvelous, good-looking and charismatic you think you are . . .

How skilful and adept you are at your trade . . .

How clean your reputation is and how influential you are in your community . . .

How established you are as a LEADER in your Sphere of Influence . . .

SOMEONE is going to shoot at you . . . and it's gonna hurt . . . because your pride has you believing that all of your genuine and caring, HARD work getting yourself from there to HERE should protect you from the critics' scrutiny.

The truth is . . . The more successful and upstanding you are, the higher the likelihood that you'll become a target.

Why?

Because you got to where you are because you STAND FOR SOMETHING . . . and if you STAND FOR SOMETHING, not everyone is going to share and/or align with that for which (and those with whom) you stand.

What can you do about this?

Many folks take it personally and allow it to consume their entire being as they search for ways to make the criticism go away . . .  or to convert the "non-believers" into "believers.

Most great Historic Leaders have written about this very topic and how some of their decisions led to back-lash that cut them to their CORE . . . and that as soon as they were able to learn NOT to take it personal, they were able to lead effectively. It was those times when they compromised their own standards by succumbing to the whining of the critics that they fumbled (made decisions that went awry).

Seth Godin wrote a marvelous little blog post this morning . . .

How else are you supposed to take it?

in which he said:

" . . . it's never personal. It's never about you. How could it be? That person doesn't truly know you, understand what you want or hear the voices in your head. All they know is themselves."

YOU cannot change "THEM" or convert them to your way of thinking . . . That should NEVER be your job.

Stay with your beliefs and your passion and continue to resolutely move FORWARD.

Doing anything less is self-sabotage . . .

Just sayin'

Best,

b

About Barry Owen

Residential Real Estate Principal Broker and Founder of Pareto Realty, LLC. Creating the quintessential real estate firm with emphasis on "Live, Work, & Play" balance . . . and a true Performance Oriented environment for Real Estate Professionals. Serving the Real estate needs of Home Buyers and Sellers in Middle Tennessee. View all posts by Barry Owen →

Posted by

Barry Owen

Founder
Principal Broker
Pareto Realty
Nashville, TN

615.502.2080
www.paretorealty.co  
Call me: 615-568-2123
email me: barryo@comcast.net

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Peggy Hughes/pha logistix, inc.
pha logistix inc - San Francisco, CA
SF NYC LA

Barry - how true.  I just got off the phone with one of my son's who is looking for a new job.  When I asked if he had followed up regarding an interview he had last week.... I got a litany of reasons why he didn't.  Bottom line... all I heard were "his" fears, not any concrete reason why he shouldn't make the call.  So sad.

May 20, 2011 10:26 AM
David Shamansky
US Mortgages - David Shamansky - Highlands Ranch, CO
Creative, Aggressive & 560 FICO - OK, Colorado Mtg

Amen to that. One of my former attorneys told me... "Dave you know as this grows (my business) you might as well put a target on your back".

I asked him why he would make that statement and he said, "its inevitable, if you take risks and are successful there will be a certain percentage of scoundrels who will think you owe them "FREE" money simply because they ask for it".

 

After disbelief I moved on. 15years and several lawsuits later (I fought and won each and every one of them mind you) I realized his wisdom. Its not how good you are, how much you do to be compliant it is simply the fact there are those out there (including attorneys who look for easy targets and industry to exploit) that will sue in the hope and belief that a settlement will soon follow, as everyone knows paying out a few thousand is a much better deal than spending 10k+ to fight it. I was not that smart and fought them all. yes I won but at what cost?

On one hand you want to grow and build a great business on the other your hard work means you have to set aside thousands as "blood money" for those who prey on your hard work?? Very sad part of business.

 

Great post and sound advice...

May 20, 2011 10:28 AM
Jim Hale
ACTIONAGENTS.NET - Eugene, OR
Eugene Oregon's Best Home Search Website

If you are not perfect, you should not expect the world to treat you like you are.

If you are perfect, well, remember how far being perfect got Jesus Christ.

May 20, 2011 10:31 AM