Normally when I blog, I try to think everything out pretty carefully, compose all my thoughts before I write and pull together a blog that is either informative or fun. Tonight, I'm swinging completely from the hip and just going to ramble a bit. I have so many people that I want to thank and when I'm up to it will sit down and write that well thought out letter, blog and whatnot. Today I just want to begin that journey.
I've never lived a life where people were generous to me. Sometimes I just don't know how to react to everything that has come to me in the last few weeks. I've been moved to tears, felt unworthy and been stunned beyond words for the outpouring of spirit, kind words, deeds, thoughts and donations to my family after falling very ill recently.
For those of you who don't know, at the RESA Convention in January I was fighting what seemed to be a normal nasty cold bug. I was miserable, as most are who have colds and sinus issues. Still, I found my way through the convention, seeing so many of my stager friends, doing my presentation on statistics and in my off-time sleeping in my room hopped up on cold medicines. I came home frustrated that I had missed so many opportunities to interact, socialize and simply have fun with so many of you.
When I came home I immediately went to the doctor, took 10 days off in bed and took dozens of prescribed pills. Still I wasn't well and went back.... and I've been going back ever couple of weeks since then. After the 3rd visit, I demanded an xray of my chest - it simply wasn't right that I was still coughing and miserable after a month. The xray came back 'abnormal' and a CT scan was ordered. The CT scan led to an appointment with a leading pulmonolgist at The Hollings Cancer Center. For months I've been told (and continue to be told) that what I have is NOT cancer. Unfortunately even after 2 bronchoscopies, they still can't tell me exactly what it is that I do have.
Since January I've been working through the coughing, aches and fevers. I reduced my hours by less than half and hired new staff to pick up the slack. Finally on Friday May 6th things began to take an ugly turn. After 3 days of running fever in excess of 100 degrees, I made yet another dr appt. My primary care physician said what she's said for months - seems like while your immune system is down that you've caught something else.... (really?? I actually asked for House at this point.) Sunday - Mother's Day - I spent the afternoon at the Urgent Care clinic as my fevers were now in excess of 102 even on the new antibiotics from my PCP. Spending 2 more days in bed - calling in my team to pick up my staging jobs - I was on my nearly weekly phone call with Gary Barnett. Gary, being worried about what was going on had Linda calling my BFF & staging assistant, Sue, while I was on the phone with him telling her to immediately leave the staging job and get me to the ER. (My husband was out of town for work.) Sue came home and we headed to the ER immediately. At the ER the doctor on call treated me like a junkie looking for my next score and made my stay there quite miserable but finally decided to call my pulmonologist who recommended another xray.
After the xray, again consulting with my pulmonologist, gave me pain killers and sent me home. Shortly thereafter a phone call came advising me to admit myself to MUSC - one of the best hospitals in the area and adjacent to The Hollings Cancer Center. In the morning, I would have another bronchoscopy and we would go from there. What we knew at this point was that in few days since I had my previous bronchoscopy (on April 20th) the swollen lymph node in my lung had grown 250%.
I spent nearly 10 days in the hospital after that. I had a large team of doctors every day - much like the House team, consisting of pulmonology, internal medicine, infectious disease and thorasic doctors and surgeons. Test after test, blood vial after blood vial, nothing new was determined. Finally, with my fever and pain seemingly under control I was sent home. Here I sit.... still.... with little in the way of answers. A possible determination of sarcoidosis (which btw, was on a recent House episode) but nothing definitive as of now.
While all of this was going on amazing things were happening behind the scenes. Shell, one of my good personal friends and the President of RESA, organized a donation (sorry, I don't know what else to call it) for me. Dozens of my staging friends and even some of my training competition pulled together to provide housekeeping and food service while I'm stuck here in bed. Other staging friends sent flowers, gifts and prepared food certificates so that my spirits were lifted and both me and my family were taken care of since my husband travels nearly 5-days a week and I'm now stuck in bed. My staging team has picked up all the slack - staging up to 8 homes a week, following up on training leads and completely running both our local and national businesses. Sue - again my best friend and staging assistant - not only helped make sure that all of my jobs were handed off and supported, took care of my family while my husband was gone but spent every night by my side in the hospital (sleeping in a recliner) because that's when the pain was at its worst. My 19-yr old daughter, Paige, who was my admin assistant before this became super woman at handling whatever needed to be done in the office. All this despite the fact that she had to have all 4 of her wisdom teeth surgically removed the Tuesday after I was admitted.
I know I'm rambling a bit - I did forewarn you - but what inspires me so much is the way that everyone has genuinely reached out and said, "What can I do?". Without Shell, RESA, the home staging community, my amazing staging team, BFF and family stepping up to the plate after months of sickness and weeks in bed now i'm certain that my business would be falling apart if not dead. My stress levels of trying to get through all of this would be skyrocketing well beyond where they already are and that my spirit to fight whatever this is would not be as strong without knowing that there are so many people who actually honestly care about me and my well being. All I can think to say is THANK YOU! I know it is not enough, but it is all I have to offer.....
There is one more thing that I do think I need to add. I didn't mention my husband in the above post very much but he deserves so much gratitude. He perhaps had one of the hardest jobs. The day before all of this started, he found out that his team at work was being split up and more than half of that team had lost their jobs and another 11 in a similar division. While he could have done the easy thing and taken medical leave to sit by my side, he manned up and did what he needed to do to take care of our family. He went to work every day. He made sure that income (and honestly more importantly at this moment - health care) was not in jeopardy. Every day while I was in the hospital, he was off in another city, worried to death about me - calling and checking in with Sue probably every hour. It wasn't where he wanted to be. When he was home, nearly every minute he was by my side. But with a tumultuous work environment, the last thing we needed to worry about in this moment was what might happen next with his job - we already had enough concerns there since they had not even told us yet what his new job (or pay) would be.
So.... if you've taken the time to read through all this I hope you've gathered that tonight, despite my frustration for being bed bound and on dozens of pills daily, that I've got a lot to be grateful for and much of it is all of you. BTW - how did I get to meet all the wonderful stagers that gathered to help support me and my family in this time of need? Active Rain..... so, thank you too AR.
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