Because I don't Look Good In Orange Jumpsuits~

It has been one of those days. I have two choices: 1. Tell everyone what I really think (and subsequently be shot, incarcerated and/or committed) 2. Make a joke out of the whole thing (and subsequently feel some sort of relief, justification and/or free group therapy).

I don't look good in orange jumpsuits, I don't like being shot, and could never survive in a rubber room; therefore my sense of humor is all I have left.

To all my fellow Realtors, Sellers, and the ever coveted Buyer, may you smile amidst the battles.

1. Short Sale- A transaction in which the Realtor puts an endless amount of work, effort, sweat, blood, and many wasted days that is anything BUT a "Short" sale. The seller wants to sell; the buyer wants to buy. The bank can't remember where they put the paperwork.

2. Foreclosure- This is where some Realtors are allowed to channel their creative side. No appliances, carpet is less than "clean", the AC/Heating unit may very well be running down the road in the middle of the night, the guy who determines the price is in another state, another time zone, and often can be argued..another planet.

Photographs require a bit of imagination. MLS description?!?! Shakespeare himself would be challenged, and then the search for who really has the keys (if there is still a door).

3. Under-contract- Hmm. Once upon a time this had a positive connotation. Now under-contract simply means, somebody wants to buy something but nobody knows how much it is really worth; not even the appraiser. So now under-contract can also be described as overwhelmed, over priced (according to whomever doesn't matter) with all parties involved, simply OVER IT!

4. Negotiations- Basically whatever you can't do and can't give, prepare to do and give immediately, not once but twice.

5. Closing- If you are able to make it to this event, everyone is so mad, frustrated, worn out, and simply unsocial it has a striking resemblance to your first cousin's wedding. Security may be required, first aid kit advised.

Yet we continue. We continue to be the whipping post for a population so beat down. We continue to smile and encourage when there is no smile or encouragement left. We continue the long winding road towards a Short Sale, the aftershock of Foreclosure, and the anti-climatic close.

Then we go home to realize someone drank the last bit of wine. @%#$!!!!!!

How can I joke about the brutal reality? It is quite simple. If I don't joke about my career, I will cry. If I cry, somebody is getting punched; which takes me back to my original point. I don't look good in orange jumpsuits.

   

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