We Like People Who Are Like Us

Last week I wrote about the importance of projecting likeability over the Internet. Today I want to start the first of 10 articles on how to do just that.

To start, there is nothing about being likeable that is politically correct. For example, we tend to like (move toward) good-looking people and we tend to not like (move away from) people who are not good looking. Is that fair? Of course it's not fair, but according to behavioral scientists, it is what it is. Secondly, it is possible to fake likeability to get what you want from someone. People do it all the time. So, are you being manipulative if you fake being likeable? Consider this.

Suppose you're having a miserable day. The telephone rings and it's a referral from a customers who wants to talk to you about selling her home. Do you stay in a funk and tell her what a bad day you’re having or do you brighten up a little and try to project a more positive attitude? My guess is that you brighten up. Are you being dishonest? Are you being manipulative? Are you being a people pleaser? I hope not. Nothing is more unattractive than someone who will do anything to be liked. You're just applying one of the many skills you learned as a child about getting along.

Think about the most likeable person you know? What is it about that person that makes them so attractive to be around?  Here's their secret. "They help people like themselves when they're with them." It has nothing to do with trying to make people like you. It's has to do with helping people like themselves. How simple is that?

So, here's the first of the 10 laws of likeability. "People like people who are like themselves." Knowing that, how can you show your customers and prospects that you are like them? At the same time you have to understand that the opposite is also true. "People do not like people who are not like them." (Remember, nothing about likeability is politically correct, it is what it is.) So, how can you show your commonality while avoiding your differences? Here’s an idea for you.

Take advantage of your "About Me" page on your website and make it a likeability magnet. Sure it’s important to talk about your professional accomplishments, but it’s also a good idea to share things about yourself of a more personal nature; things that your readers will find interesting and attractive about you.

Here are a few personal things about me. I was born in St. Louis, lived in Atlanta as a young adult and retired to Maui when I was 38 years old. My wife is a professional astrologer and she tells me I'm a poster child for my astrological sign, which is Pisces. I had a near death experience when I was 9 years old and it changed the way I live my life. I’m the oldest of 4 children and my favorite holiday is the 4th of July. I have an engineering degree and worked as a volunteer fireman for two years. I started my own company after being fired from my first real job. My favorite foods are watermelon, cherries and lasagna and I love to hang out at Borders Book Store and read about technology, space and life after death. My favorite movies are "The Green Mile", "Ghost" and "Dumb and Dumber" and I have a touch of ADD which helps keep me focused ... Not!

My guess is that we have something in common. You might be a Pisces or like cherries or know someone who had a near death experience or maybe you were fired from your first job too. If so, you’ll find that we are moving closer together. We're beginning to like each other. But did you notice what I did not tell you about me? I did not tell you about my political or religious beliefs. I did not tell you how I feel about the War in Iraq or about smoking or drinking or the laws in Hawaii that allow 16 year old children to ride a motorcycles without having to wear a helmet. There may be a time and a place for those conversations but it’s not going to be on my “About Me” page.

If you have any comments on this subject, please let me know your thoughts. I would also like to know about you and what, if anything, we have in common.