Diary of a Download Monster... The Nancy Friday Incident. Best non-Netflix moment ever (LOL)
I have a photo-shoot today so I'm doing a sleepover at my gal pal's house. We're supposed to be having lunch and watching Netflix but after yesterday's book club meet she's satisfying her curiosity by surfing through my laptop's Kindle to PC collection.
Everything that I buy for my Android automatically syncs there and will hang out on Home or Archive (depending upon where I send it). There are hundreds of titles in my electronic book collection but I notice she's hovering on screen one... Her ears are turning a delicate shade of rose with fascinating hints of growing red. I'm thinking this is going to be good... I know her. It takes a lot to make her blush... (LOL)
Me: You don't need a HDMI hook up to your flat screen TV to read one of my electronic books.
Her: Why is Nancy Friday beneath the Bible?
Notice how she ignores me and doesn't care that Nancy Friday is located between the 2011 Federal Rules of Evidence and Mary Shelly's Frankenstein. It's the fact that a sex study is in proximity of the Bible that has her all hot and bothered...
Me: If you can't find what you're looking for, sort by author instead of by title. I have them sorted by title... I hadn't noticed the spacial relationship.
My expectation is that she's going to move on and sort by author until the GAL PAL LIGHT-BULB ALERT suddenly goes off in my head. I have hundreds of titles but chicka immediately zeroed in on Nancy? Hmm... There are 15 books on that opening scroll... She's an attorney. You'd think I would have been teased for having the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure and of Evidence as recreational reading, but nooooooooo. That's not even a blink your eye issue. Then again, maybe she'd expect that from an anal retentive Paralegal, eh? For an attorney that would constitute required reading and a business tax write off (LOL).
I decide to hold my tongue and wait for her to discover Beyond My Control. If she wants to talk about Nancy or add her to the book club line up I'm down with the program. It would double if not triple the male attendance at our next club meeting (LOL). The guys always show up early when sex is on the agenda. The phrases Artistic Ménage à trois and Invasion of the Urban Fantasy Book Babes kept me chatting live with male bloggers for three hours in Facebook yesterday (LOL).
Yup. Several even brought Jocelynn's books although they went out of their way to assure me they do not normally buy this type of urban fantasy. My attorney gal pal is a Penelope Trunk fan and also doesn't do urban fantasy but she secretly reads Nancy Friday...
Hmm...
I decide I should be really quiet and not move while she thinks...
Dead silence.
She won't look at me.
She's staring at my laptop.
It's a pregnant moment. I hold my breath.
Her: You read Nancy Friday?
I sigh... This is going to be a loooong day if she doesn't snap out of it. She's looking at me as if we haven't been stellar friends for the last 19 years and as if I now have three heads. Her lips start moving but the words won't come. I watch her stammer, flush, chew on her manicured nail, eye me silently with a look of grave contemplation reserved for jury summations, blush, fidget then walk off into her bedroom in a huff.
She doesn't come back out.
I'm thinking: Hmm... this is getting really interesting. I'm talking uncharted territory people (LOL).
I finally decide to invade her space and go in there after her because we need to talk is the phrase softly whispering in my mind. This is my friend. Her angst is palpable and now she has to decide what she wants to do next because I already know what the real issue is: She has inadvertently revealed through her Freudian slip she not only knows who Nancy Friday is but what Nancy Friday does. SHE reads NF and realizes that I know something intimate no one else does. Guilty secret or guilty pleasure? Maybe a little bit of both...
I stand in her doorway to watch her curled up on her bed downloading everything Faith Hunter, Kim Harrison, Vicki Pettersson and Jocelynn Drake, realizing by the new genre selection she's trying to figure me out. She thought she had me pegged. In regards to her, so did I. Now we realize we're both wrong about what we really like and keep peeking curious glances at each other wondering who is going to confess what first. There is a ghost of a conversation hovering between us like the 300 pound pink elephant in the room no one wants to acknowledge but keeps tip toeing around.
She has more Nancy Friday than I do (I've only got two titles) so at some point we're going to have an amazing conversation about what we learned from all that sex research (LOL).
Netflix has been officially canceled. We're going to spend a quiet afternoon reading urban fantasy books, sharing secrets, playing 20 questions, cooking and blogging...
So far, this has been the best non-Netflix moment ever (LOL).
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