Hello! Yeah you, the one with your head in the clouds. I’m talking to you. 
Because I get the feeling you’re not. What do you see up there in the clouds? That new car you want to buy, the house you need to clean, picking the kids up from school or maybe it’s what you want to say next. Whatever it is, it must be really good. Maybe I can join you sometime. When It’s Your Turn to Speak!
Do you find yourself trying to pull other people in your life out of the clouds and join you in conversation?
- Spouse/Significant Other-“What time did you say we have a dinner date”?
- A Friend-“Oh, but I, I, I, I had that happen to me too”
- Your Clients-“I didn’t know I could have a home inspection”
- Colleagues –“What’s a blog?”
- Your Children-“Can I?”
You are the one talking, sharing your heart, your knowledge or lending a hand to help and they are not listening. Being on the receiving end of the “heads in the cloud” listener hurts and you know they are not listening when there is:
- No Eye Contact
- Poor Body Language
- Toe Tapping
- No Facial Expression
- And yes, text messaging
Being on the receiving end is one thing, but when you are sending out the message that you have your “head in the clouds”, it’s time to step back, take a deep breath and remember the time this person has invested in you should be valued and you have the power to change yourself.
Tools to be a "down to earth" listener.
Give the person who is speaking eye contact. Now don’t go into a deep glare, but do let them know they have your attention. You are letting the speaker know they are important to you.
Face your body towards the person. Who knows you may need to reach out and give them a hug.
Acknowledge what the speaker is saying and be empathetic. During the conversation, when it is appropriate, repeat back and be encouraging. “Oh yes, your idea to sell the condo is a great one”
Reassure and Restate what the person is talking about. “Oh, so you want to door knock to 2 neighborhoods close by and market to area renters? What a great idea”.
Put away your cell phone. Turn it off or just ignore it. This can be really hard to do, but when somebody is talking you need to give them your full attention and no distractions.
Show the person facial expressions. Don’t get caught smiling when the person is giving you a heartfelt talk about something that happened in their life. How horrible are you going to feel when you are smiling as your speaker is sharing with you the death of a family member?
Put yourself in the speakers place. Float in their cloud for a moment. Really listen and don’t consume your mind with what you want to say next.
Wait for your turn to talk. Let the speaker pause long enough to give you the assurance that they are done. Don’t be like the emergency broadcasting system interruption when you are in the middle of a good movie. Listen with your ears wide open and absorb their words.
Be positive and realistic. If asked, share your insight and ideas.
Respect the speakers view. Don’t become defensive when somebody is sharing their thoughts with you.
Don’t be assumptive. If you don’t understand something the person said, ask questions.
Being a great listener will make you Trustworthy and Valuable to all of the wonderful people you will come across in your life. And what a better cloud to be on.
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Julie Neerings, GRI- Heart of Utah Real Estate Copyright © 2008- If you are considering buying, selling, military relocations to Hill AFB or relocating to Utah, you deserve local expertise and advice to be provided by a professional in real estate. Julie Neerings is a Utah REALTOR® providing full time, professional real estate services to buyers and sellers in the cities of Layton, Bountiful, Woods Cross, West Valley, West Jordan, South Jordan, Riverton, Herriman and all surrounding cities.
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