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I am your REALTOR®, not your punching bag

By Tish Lloyd

Real Estate Agent with BlueCoast Realty Corporation

July 10, 2011 05:47 AM

I am your REALTOR®, not your punching bag

Picture of punching bag I recently had a conversation with an old acquaintance who is trying to sell her home in another state. I was shocked when she told me her Agent had canceled the Listing Agreement via email and wouldn't take her calls. When I delved a little further I was no longer shocked; I was mentally applauding the other Agent.

"I am under so much stress and that little *#%(^) didn't seem to understand that having the house shown was just too much for me. I told her, (!)*# and @#*%)) and she hung up on me! Then she sent me an email canceling the listing! Can you believe it? What kind of a #*&%^&3 would cancel a listing over a conversation? It wasn't personal. She should have understood how stressed I am and dealt with it. Dealing with me is part of her job."

Buying or selling a home is one of the most stressful life events we deal with. Even if it's a move for the better, emotions run high and it's not always easy to keep our cool. I've moved more times than I can count and I abhor the stress that comes from moving. As a result, I tend to be a little more than understanding when working with buyers and sellers who are having a tough time.

BUT . . . every once in a while a transaction comes along that puts even me over the edge. Every once in a while a buyer or seller decides that taking their frustration out on me is acceptable. I'm not talking about getting frustrated or Picture of dictionary upset over something within my control (hey, if you feel I'm not doing my job you have every right to respectfully say something) -- I'm talking about the times when a buyer or seller is so stressed about moving, so overwhelmed with all there is to do they just take it all out on me.

There isn't much I won't put up with -- being in real estate means empathizing with my buyers and sellers and respecting their feelings. But I won't be yelled at and I won't tolerate abuse. Plain and simple -- I will do everything in my power to help you deal with the stress that buying or selling a home brings but . . .

I am your REALTOR®, not your punching bag.

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FN LN

Toronto, ON

Hi Tish - Real estate, as with any job or profession, should be enjoyable. No need to put up with such customers or clients.

Jul 11, 2011 07:01 PM

Sally K. & David L. Hanson

EXP Realty 414-525-0563 - Brookfield, WI

WI Real Estate Agents - Luxury - Divorce

To prevent further "realtor abuse" you might suggest gently to your gal pal that none of us react warmly to abuse .....she is likely to have the same experience repeated....unless some ground rules are set that both can live with...good luck !

Jul 12, 2011 12:05 AM

Juan Bassett

Long & Foster - Germantown, MD

GRI

As realtors, we have every right to expect to be treated decently. And we remain at choice as to who we are willing to represent.

Jul 12, 2011 01:59 AM

John Franc

John Franc Realtor ABR Vandyk Group - Manahawkin, NJ

Honesty & Integrity in all I do!

Hi Tish,

Kudos to that agent! If a client starts becoming verbally abusive with me on the phone I calmly say "I am hanging up the phone now, you can call me back when you know you can speak civilly to me." I then get a phone call back with an apology and a new attitude from that client, works every time!

Jul 12, 2011 02:01 AM

Craig Rutman

Helping people in transition - Cary, NC

Raleigh, Cary, Apex area Realtor

I tell people like your old acquaintance that I wouldn't let my own mother talk to me like that and I'll be damned if I'm going to let you either. Then I tell them I'm hanging up, but if they want to talk politely to me, I'll be happy to take their call.

Jul 12, 2011 03:39 AM

Gene Riemenschneider

Home Point Real Estate - Brentwood, CA

Turning Houses into Homes

The longer you are in this business the quicker you learn to spot trouble. Thanks for a great post.

Jul 12, 2011 04:58 AM

Bruce Fecteau

Century21 Beachside MV - Mission Viejo, CA

Hi Tish,

Far too many buyers and sellers think of Real Estate Pros as "used car salesman". Not the actuall car salesman the "cliche" version and then try to treat us that way. Personally when confronted with this behavior I "establish some ground rules" regarding "mutual respect" ... If they can't deal with that then "good luck and adios amigo".

Best of luck this year with your business!

Bruce Fecteau Realtor Century 21 Orange County http://www.century21-orangecounty.com

Jul 12, 2011 04:59 AM

Jovani Ruiz

Escondido, CA

It's incredible that the seller treated the agent the way she did and to later be surprised that the agent cancelled the listing. I'm pretty sure she wouldnt like to be treated like that by her employer.

Jul 12, 2011 05:46 AM

Anonymous

Thank you, Tish, this is a good reminder to all of us. We are professionals who are in a service industry. We risk our time and energy and work toward achieving the goals of our clients while getting paid only upon closing a transaction. We actually do care about what our clients go through. We all experience trying times. Stress pushes our limits. However, when stress becomes the excuse for abuse it is up to us to break that cycle. Abuse is an obstacle to the task at hand, disintegrates communication, erodes trust , and causes untold pain. We must remove ourselves with dignity without fueling the abuse. And it may take the form of agreeing to dissolve our agency relationship with a client and could also mean (in the extreme) no longer answering calls and emails. Most important is not to be provoked to react in a similar manner. This is a tenat for life...not just work. Good luck to us all.

Jul 12, 2011 02:12 PM

#204

Ric Mills

Keller Williams Southern Az - Tucson, AZ

Integrity, Honesty, and Vast Real Estate Knowledge

That is one of the great things about being self employed. We get to choose who we work with. If it is not a good fit, we can always say "NEXT" and you are fired. I do not tolerate abuse in any form. I don't need the business that much to be abused.

Jul 13, 2011 06:32 AM

Julie Baldino

Front Door Realty - Vancouver, WA

Opening Doors to New Chapters...

Funny, this happened to me the other day. I had a client get extremely verbally abusive over a situation I had absolutely no control of.... on speaker phone, in front of my employees. Needless to say, I will no longer be working for that person anymore. There isn't any amount of money worth taking abuse... None.

Jul 13, 2011 12:50 PM

Jon Zolsky, Daytona Beach, FL

Daytona Condo Realty, 386-405-4408 - Daytona Beach, FL

Buy Daytona condos for heavenly good prices

Tish - we all know that to well. Some people think that if we would ever make a penny, it gives them the right to go bananas

Jul 13, 2011 04:40 PM

Elite Home Sales Team

Elite Home Sales Team OC - Corona del Mar, CA

A Tenacious and Skilled Real Estate Team

Tish

Good for you. I do not tolerate anyone yelling at me. We can talk but if they get out of hand they are fired.

Jul 13, 2011 07:11 PM

Jeff Hollister

Native Californian with 20 years serving OC Buyers & Sellers - San Clemente, CA

Real Estate Broker, Serving Orange County, CA

We should always let the listener know if we need to vent. Obtaining permission to do so could save the relationship. Even if it is a agent-client relationship. Great example of when it should have been done.

Jul 14, 2011 04:06 AM

Patricia Beck

RE/MAX Properties, Inc., ABR, GRI, SRES - Colorado Springs, CO

Colorado Springs Realty

Wow, so many comments. This often happens with sellers facing foreclosure that are short selling their home as well. When clients cross that line, agents have to make a decision and that agent made the right one.

Jul 17, 2011 02:14 AM

Dan Pinson

International Realty Partners - Phoenix, AZ

Broker,ABR,GRI,RSPS,SFR,TRC

Great blog title! Too many nice people to work with to have to deal with the jerks.

Jul 18, 2011 05:57 AM

Kerry Jenkins

Prime Properties - Crestline, CA

I had a client like this when I was a newbie. i dreaded the phone ringing and she nearly gave me an ulcer. I hated the escrow cause she calledme during escrow several times a day. I tried being patient but when escrow closed I was relieved. When she called me after close and demanded part of my commission back I told her to never call me again and hung up on her. Boy that felt good.

Sep 29, 2011 11:26 AM

Sandy Padula & Norm Padula, JD, GRI

HomeSmart Realty West & Florida Realty Investments - , CA

Presence, Persistence & Perseverance

There is no question that this business is a 'People Business' and often, when there is no understanding or 'chemstry' perhaps it is better for all parties to go their separate ways, until at least one of the parties becomes a bit more empathetic.

Jun 27, 2017 03:53 AM

Sharon Tara

Sharon Tara Transformations - Portsmouth, NH

Retired New Hampshire Home Stager

Stress is no excuse for bad behavior towards others!

Congratulations on the feature!

Jun 27, 2017 05:11 AM

Carol Williams

Although I'm retired, I love sharing my knowledge and learning from other real estate industry professionals. - Wenatchee, WA

Retired Agent / Broker / Prop. Mgr, Wenatchee, WA

Hi Tish,
Interesting situation. Since when does our stress give us permission to abuse others... especially those trying to help us? Thanks for sharing.

Jun 27, 2017 09:00 AM