Last week I had a settlement that served as a reminder of one of the aspects of professional representation (be it a REALTOR® or an attorney) that is essential to maintain both for achieving the best results for your client as well as maintaining a positive reputation among your peers. It can be summed up with one simple saying; "Nothing personal".

A little background...

I had a listing that went under contract. The agent with the buyer is someone that I know to be a very reasonable person. His client, unfortunately, was anything but! Oh, and by the way, the seller and buyer the  knew each other prior to the sale and disliked one another.

After a long an painful contingency process, (loaded with knock down-drag out fights between the buyer and the seller over what could not have amounted to more than $100) we finally completed all of the terms of the contract about 30 days before the closing and we just were sitting back waiting for the settlement date to arrive.

All is well...until...

The day before settlement I meet the buyer and her agent at the property for the final walk through. (I had to meet them there because the seller made me remove the lock box because she "didn't want that crazy lady trying to get in there by herself").

I unlock the door and the buyer pushes past me into the house and proceeds (for the next hour or so) to do the most impressive job of nitpicking that that think I've ever seen. Finally she hands me a list of ten or so items that must be fixed otherwise she is "WALKING". I glanced over the list, half tempted to just give her $20 out of my pocket and call it a day. Before leaving the buyers agent informs me that they are looking to escrow $2500 for the repairs. I let my seller know this and she says "I'm not giving her a penny; I'd sooner put the house back on the market.....".

So, to make a long story short, the buyer and the seller get into a huge fight and, while we were eventually able to close the deal, we ended up settling from two different rooms because the buyer and seller refused to be in the same room together. The entire settlement consisted of myself and the other agent shuffling back and fourth between the rooms and informing the other party of the most recent "demand", some of which were HIGHLY unreasonable. Now, to be honest, I found my self quite angry and on the verge of raising my voice a few times when a little voice in the back of my head whispered "it's nothing personal".

I guess over the course if time I just took it for granted that I knew this but the reality is that this statement is a staple in negotiation. After all, the point of negotiation is not to "win a fight"; it's to find an amicable solution that is mutually beneficial for all parties. Without a strong resolve to maintain this position, we drastically reduce the effectiveness of our negotiating. I know that I have seen situations in the past where agents had taken certain things personally and as a result got frustrated. I would notice that as time would pass, there arguments would become less and less coherent. When a representative allows himself to end up in a position or frame of mind like this, where the effectiveness of the negotiation is diminished in this way, the client suffers a great disservice.

Also, REALTORS® (and attorneys and loan officers for that matter) are like elephants; we never forget. Successful deals are the building blocks of an excellent reputation. On the contrary, deals that don't go so smoothly often times can leave a bad taste in the mouth of all parties involved; and the unfortunate truth is that not only will it, in all probability, never go away, but it also will likely be conveyed to others at any given opportunity.