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That's the way we've always done it.

By
Real Estate Agent with Jameson Sotheby's International Realty

The other day I wrote a post entitled "Five Monkeys..." and it's point was that we tend to do things the same way that they've always been done, whether we understand the reason, or not.  This applies to many things... our personal lives, education, child-rearing, and of course business.

Here is another story that illustrates that same issue.

In a very small town in Poland, there stood a very old, very small, nondescript synagogue.  Somehow it had survived the pogroms and the wars, and stood unnoticed on one of the cities narrow side-streets calling very little attention to itself.

The members of this synagogue were stalwarts in the community and had been members of this little synagogue for generations... at least the generations that still existed.  An American Jew was visiting his friend in the city, and they decided to stop by the synagogue to join their Friday night services to experience a traditional Polish service.  Since most synagogues, world-wide, use many of the same prayers in Hebrew, he figured he might not understand spoken instructions, but he would be able to participate in the prayers.  The melodies might be slightly different, but certainly the words would be the same.

The sanctuary was run down, the plaster was clearly in disrepair, the ceiling needed work, the pews were word, the prayer books in tatters.  The synagogue was clearly in need of a major renovation.

The service progressed nicely and he was able to join in on most of the prayers, although a few of the melodies were unknown to him, many were very familiar, and he was settling in nicely.  When they came to the Mourner's Kaddish, a prayer to honour the dead, a prayer chanted while standing, rather than sung, round the world, he felt very comfortable speaking the words, but noticed suddenly that the entire congregation, while chanting this mono-tone prayer, were standing and turning around as they chanted.

Spinning slowly counterclockwise, he was the only one not spinning as he chanted, and eventually joined in the spinning, though he didn't understand why.  After the services were over, he approached several of the congregants and asked as to "why" they were spinning.  Was it along the lines of the Turkish Whirling-Dervishes??  Did it add to the religious experience?  Were they facing all the directions of the compass to include the whole world in this prayer?

Nobody had an answer, other than to say "this is the way we've always done it."  His question went unanswered, and he eventually returned home.

Many years later, his friend wrote him a letter.  He said that the synagogue during a major remodelling, had removed much of the plaster, and under the plaster they'd discovered painted on all four walls, in very large Hebrew lettering, was the wording for the Mourner's Kaddish, starting at the front of the hall, and wrapping around the walls, counterclockwise (Hebrew is written right-to-left), North, then West, then South, and East... back to North... and round and round and round throughout the whole prayer.

The writing dated back to a time, when the congregations couldn't supply prayer books for everyone, so the prayer had been painted in large letters on the walls, and the only way to read it was to follow the lettering around and around, which caused everyone to look like they were spinning.  While the prayer had long-ago been covered with plaster and paint, the tradition of spinning while chanting that prayer remained.

And they'd been doing it for so long, that nobody remembered why, other than "that's the way it's always been done."

(251  -33)

I feel like a spinning top, or a dreidel. 
Spinning don't stop when you leave the cradle,
you just slow down.

 

Posted by

 ALAN MAY, Realtor®   
Specializing in Evanston Real Estate and North Shore Real Estate

Jameson Sotheby's International Realty, 2934 Central Street, Evanston, IL 60201
Office: 847.869.7300      Cell: 847.924.3313      Email: Almay@aol.com

Evanston Real Estate & North Shore Real Estate
Licensed in Illinois

   

Comments (27)

Alan May
Jameson Sotheby's International Realty - Evanston, IL
Home is where the hearth is.

Michael - lots of "dizzy" realtors out there.

Steve - I love knowing the "why", too.

Suzanne - that's a great story!!

Tammy - agreed... but if you're doing it, just 'cause it's tradition... you should know the "why" behind it.

Kathy - true enough.  And you should know what the practical reason was, before you go about changing it.

Waynette - I liked it, too.

Than - one story, begats another.

Jul 13, 2011 04:53 AM
Donna Foerster
HomeSmart Realty Group - Parker, CO
Metro Denver Real Estate Assistant

That's a great story.  I love the history of it.  It really drives home the point of "we've always done it that way".

Jul 13, 2011 05:21 AM
Larry Story ALC
Total Care Realty - Greensboro, NC
Beneath it all is the Land, Covering all of NC

It goes to show that the people that question the "why" and break away from the pack become leaders themselves.  Always question, and learn the why you can then ask Why Not.

Jul 13, 2011 05:36 AM
Alan May
Jameson Sotheby's International Realty - Evanston, IL
Home is where the hearth is.

Donna - yeah, I love the history part of that story... I would have loved to have been around at the AHA moment when they uncovered the writing..

Larry - but you gotta learn the "why" first...

Jul 13, 2011 05:40 AM
Debbie Gartner
The Flooring Girl - White Plains, NY
The Flooring Girl & Blog Stylist -Dynamo Marketers

Very interesting and illustrates the pt.  but, not sure why they couldn't memorize this one.  What's funny is I don't think I remember how to read Hebrew anymore and yet, I can easily remember how to say/chant the songs.  LOL.

Jul 13, 2011 05:53 AM
Kat Palmiotti
eXp Commercial, Referral Divison - Kalispell, MT
Helping your Montana dreams take root

When I was young, I was told never to ask "why" - because the answer was always "Because I said so" - we weren't entitled to reasons.

I guess in most people, they would eventually stop asking "why".  I never stopped - my desire to learn what's behind things has caused me to make many positive changes in my life, my processes, etc. 

Good post - "because that's how we always did it" really isn't a reason.

 

Jul 13, 2011 06:05 AM
Faye Y. Taylor
StepStone Realty, LLC - Floresville, TX
Country Living with City Convenience -Wilson Co TX

That is too funny and makes a good point.  Have you ever heard the one about the lady who cuts the end off the roast?  When asked why she said the same.   When she asked her mother, her mother explained that Grandmad had always done it because her pan was too small to hold the whole roast.

Jul 13, 2011 06:39 AM
Linda K. Mayer
License # 01767321 - La Verne, CA
Realtor, SRES, SoCAL, A REALTOR YOU CAN TRUST

Okay, but even though we all need to change (Yep, I read Who Moved My Cheese), I loved this story.  I just knew there jad to be a reason!

Jul 13, 2011 06:51 AM
Alan May
Jameson Sotheby's International Realty - Evanston, IL
Home is where the hearth is.

Debbie - It probably is one of the most memorized hebrew prayers in existence... and yet, they do write it down in the prayer books, for those who need to follow.

Kathleen - my parents always told me the same.

Faye - see Suzanne's comment #3

Linda - there's always a reason... we often just don't know.

 

Jul 13, 2011 07:01 AM
Marie Graham
Owner, The Refreshed Home White Plains NY - White Plains, NY
Westchester County Interior Decorator, Home Stager

Great story, an even better point.  Asking why is always-appropriate and professionally an effective way to potentially change the direction of a conversation. Thanks Alan!

Jul 13, 2011 07:06 AM
Ann Allen Hoover
RE/MAX Advantage South - Hoover, AL
CDPE SRES ASP e-PRO Realtor - Homes for Sale - AL

I got a kick reading this and thinking of my own church and how unhappy many of my parent's generation (and some of my own for that matter) get when things aren't done the way they always did them.  I'm picturing them spinning 'round and 'round.  :o)

Jul 13, 2011 07:21 AM
Dr. Paula McDonald
Beam & Branch Realty - Granbury, TX
Granbury, TX 936-203-0279

Isn't it interesting how there are some things we just don't question or really think about?

Jul 13, 2011 07:56 AM
Alan May
Jameson Sotheby's International Realty - Evanston, IL
Home is where the hearth is.

Marie - I couldn't have said it better myself

Ann - it would work for any church, temple, mosque or house of worship.

Paula - I often turn off my "thinker" to get through my day.

Jul 13, 2011 09:11 AM
Laura S. Baker
First Weber Inc - Lake Mills, WI
Realtor (920) 728-4118, First Weber Inc

How often do we go through our days just doing what we do, not really paying attention to the "why".  How unproductive that really can be.  Great story Alan. Thanks for sharing it.

Jul 13, 2011 12:05 PM
Gay E. Rosen
Julia B. Fee Sotheby's International Realty - Larchmont, NY
As Real as Real Estate Gets!

ALan - I understand the why, and tradition.... in that/this case - perhaps no change is necesaary just a better acknowledgement to why things were/are done  so we can better appreciate them... change comes much much later... but when history meshes with tradition, it is hard - as long as no-one is harmed along the way...why change?

Jul 13, 2011 01:23 PM
Alan May
Jameson Sotheby's International Realty - Evanston, IL
Home is where the hearth is.

Laura - it's better when we understand the "why".

Gay - the tradition is cute... as long as you understand that you're only doing it for the tradition.

Jul 14, 2011 02:01 AM
Peter Schattenfield
Turning Point Estate Services LLC - Wilton, CT
Estate Dissolution and Preparation (203)388-8092 CT.

Alan, From the great words of Tevye...TRADITION

Jul 15, 2011 04:38 AM
Alan May
Jameson Sotheby's International Realty - Evanston, IL
Home is where the hearth is.

Peter - who day and night must scramble for a living, feed a wife and children, say his daily prayers?

Jul 15, 2011 04:43 AM
James Quarello
JRV Home Inspection Services, LLC - Wallingford, CT
Connecticut Home Inspector

I like this story much better, no torture or humiliation. It makes a great point.

Jul 15, 2011 01:57 PM
Alan May
Jameson Sotheby's International Realty - Evanston, IL
Home is where the hearth is.

James - reading my blogs constitutes "torture" for everyone.

Jul 15, 2011 04:21 PM