My children lived in five different states during their school years. As a former elementary school teacher I was aware how stressful and difficult it can be for children to be the new kid on the block and in the classroom. Along the way, and through years of trial and error, I discovered a few ways to reduce the stress of uprooting the lives of children when their parents decide to move to another locale.
The decision to move is rarely, if ever, made by the children in the family. Kids are big fans of the status quo. They like their room, their school and their friends. The thought of leaving it all behind and venturing into the unknown is unnerving at best and nightmare material at its worst.
A few age appropriate tips for making a move easier for children:
Preschoolers: There are some wonderful storybooks about moving. Make sure to share a few with your child to intoduce the concept of moving. Purchase a backpack and allow your toddler to fill it with favorite toys--great for long car or plane trips and it keeps the familiar close at hand as they venture into unknown territory.
Elementary years: Involve your child in the moving process. If possible, take your child to the new city and allow them to have a voice in room choice once a new home is identified. Drive them to their new school, and if possible, let them meet the staff and tour the grounds. While in their new hometown, don't forget to have some fun. Take them to a local amusement park, zoo or museum and let them experience firsthand their life will be different in some ways, but in many ways their activities will not change dramatically.
Middle Schoolers: Leaving a best friend behind can be heartbreaking at this age. However, in this technological age it is much easier to stay in touch with old friends while making the adjustment to new surroundings. Involve you child with the chores of sorting and packing their personal belongings. If your child is developing a budding passion for a sport or other activity assure them there will be the opportunity to continue their chosen pursuit in the new locale. Don't waste any time in getting them re-involved in what they love.
High School: I was fortunate not to have to deal with a disruption during the high school years. My oldest child was an entering freshman when we moved to Rancho Palos Verdes. Fortunately, I always encouraged my children to participate in a sport and the arts. As a freshman my son was on the swim team (great way to meet and make new friends while participating in a familiar activity).
Talk to school personnel before arriving about programs of interest to your child. If the move will take place over the summer discuss summer program opportunities. Neither you, nor your child, should spend anymore time than necessary waiting to begin acclimating to their new environment. Weaving familiar activities into the daily routine will reduce stress and speed the adjustment process.
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