Special offer

The Jewish Genie (Thursday funny)

By
Mortgage and Lending with Bank of Oregon a division of Willamette Valley Bank

JEWISH GENIE


 

An Arab had spent many days crossing the desert without finding a source of water.  It got so bad that his camel died of thirst.

He crawled through the sands, certain that he was breathing his last breath, when suddenly, he saw a shiny object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him.

He crawled to the object, pulled it out of the sand, and discovered that he had a Manischewitz wine bottle.

It appeared that there may be a drop or two left in the bottle, so he unscrewed the top, and out popped a genie.  BUT this was no ordinarygenie. This genie appeared to be a Chasidic Rabbi, complete with black alpaca coat, black hat, side curls, and tzitzis.


'Vell kid,' said the genie, 'you know how it voiks. You got three vishes.'

'I'm not going to trust you,' says the Arab. 'I'm not going to trust a Jewish genie!'

'Vott'ya you got to lose? Looks ta me - you're a gonner anyvay!'

The Arab thought about this for a minute, and decided that the genie was right.  'Okay, I wish I were in a lush oasis, with plentiful food and drink.'

* * * * * * * P O O F * * * * * * * * *

The Arab found himself in the most beautiful oasis he had ever seen and he was surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.

'Okee-dokee kiddo, vat's your second vish?'

'My second wish is that I were rich beyond my wildest dreams.'

* * * * * * * P O O F * * * * * * * * *

The Arab found himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare old coins and precious gems.

'Okay kid, you got just vone more vish.  Better you should make it a good vone!'

After thinking for a few minutes, the Arab says, 'I wish that no matter where I go, beautiful women will always need and want me!'

* * * * * * * P O O F * * * * * * * * *

He was turned into a tampon.



THE MORAL OF THE STORY:

If you're an Arab doing business with a Jewish genie, there's going to be a string attached.

Than Maynard
Coldwell Banker Heart of Oklahoma - Purcell, OK
Broker - Licensed to List & Sell - 405-990-8862

heh, erk and gross! :) I like that one, he got what he deserved.

Jul 28, 2011 10:07 AM
Team Honeycutt
Allen Tate - Concord, NC

Karen, I love this. I am almost ready to go home for the day and because of you I am going home with a smile on my face. Good Job.

Betty

Jul 28, 2011 10:19 AM
Sheila Anderson
Referral Group Incorporated - East Brunswick, NJ
The Real Estate Whisperer Who Listens 732-715-1133

Good afternoon Karen. This is really, really funny. I enjoyed the story and the climax was a kicker. Thanks for the laugh!

Jul 28, 2011 10:26 AM
Karen Burket
Bank of Oregon a division of Willamette Valley Bank - Medford, OR
Valley Mortgage Grou, Conventional, FHA, VA, mortgages

Hi Than!  Glad you enjoyed, and yes, he DID get what he deserved now, didn't he?  lol  Thanks for the visit!

Hi there Betty!  Thank you for allowing me to give you a smile!  Glad you enjoyed.  Have a great rest of your day!   :-)

Sheila...I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.  I honestly had NO idea where that punch line was going either!  Have a great night! 

Jul 28, 2011 11:57 AM
Karen Burket
Bank of Oregon a division of Willamette Valley Bank - Medford, OR
Valley Mortgage Grou, Conventional, FHA, VA, mortgages

Glad I could provide you a chuckle, Richard!  Wishing you a fantastic night!  No strings attached to THAT wish however!  ;-) 

Jul 28, 2011 01:51 PM
Steve Loynd
Alpine Lakes Real Estate Inc., - Lincoln, NH
800-926-5653, White Mountains NH

Karen being politically correct doesn't worry you a bit...I like that, you would be a great politician.

Jul 28, 2011 01:59 PM
Ted Tyrrell
RE/MAXCamosun (Chatterton) - Victoria, BC
Selling Homes in Beautiful Victoria

Karen, once again you've outdone yourself. Hope you have a great evening.

Jul 28, 2011 02:03 PM
William Feela
WHISPERING PINES REALTY - North Branch, MN
Realtor, Whispering Pines Realty 651-674-5999 No.

I used to have great jokes like this...Working in corrections we had to laugh or go crazy.

Jul 28, 2011 03:32 PM
Karen Burket
Bank of Oregon a division of Willamette Valley Bank - Medford, OR
Valley Mortgage Grou, Conventional, FHA, VA, mortgages

Steve...I gave up PC-ness many moons ago!  Thank you for your thoughts but I'd probably make  LOUSY politician in that I'd want to shoot fellow party members!  lol.  Have a great night to you! 

Ted, you have a great night too!  Rodney bids his "slurps" on Tessa!  :) 

Bill, I'd LOVE to hear about your stories in corrections.  Guessing you have some tales to tell!  Know what?  I used to work for a repossession company.. oh lordy..the book I could write!  lol 

Jul 28, 2011 04:44 PM
Scott Warga
ACSI American Construction Specialists & Investigations - Gilbert, AZ

Karen, I laughed then I saw the last line and I groned.

You still crack me up.

Have a great one.

Jul 28, 2011 06:37 PM
Karen Burket
Bank of Oregon a division of Willamette Valley Bank - Medford, OR
Valley Mortgage Grou, Conventional, FHA, VA, mortgages

You have a great day too, Scott!  Enjoy "Chicago..Chicago!"  :)

Jul 29, 2011 03:21 AM
Sherri Berry
Reliant Realty, Murfreesboro - Murfreesboro, TN
Murfreesboro TN Homes & Real Estate

Good morning Karen!  I needed something light to start off my Fridayd!  Thanks for making me laugh!

Jul 29, 2011 05:16 AM
Karen Burket
Bank of Oregon a division of Willamette Valley Bank - Medford, OR
Valley Mortgage Grou, Conventional, FHA, VA, mortgages

Morning, Sherri!   Glad I could provide a good laugh for you on this fine Friday!  I hope the rest of your day goes great!  All the best to you!

Jul 29, 2011 05:32 AM
Mykel Martin
(909) 476-9600 ~ WeLoveSellingRealEstate.com - Rancho Cucamonga, CA
Realty Masters & Associates

ROFLMAO!!! The joke by itself cracked me up but that last line had me ROLLING! Thank you for posting! :-)

Aug 02, 2011 12:32 PM
Karen Burket
Bank of Oregon a division of Willamette Valley Bank - Medford, OR
Valley Mortgage Grou, Conventional, FHA, VA, mortgages

Mykel your response has ME laughing in that I got the coveted ROFLMAO!  Thank you!  Have a great evening!  All the best to you. :)

Aug 02, 2011 01:18 PM