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"Leave kiss"... And Kiss Your Career Good-bye! (MLS Bloopers)

By
Real Estate Agent with Sotheby's International Realty BRE # 01362887

Dog kissing man

There were so many bloopers on the MLS and in local ads this week that smoke signals would have been decidedly clearer. It seems a lot of people simply cannot spell in our native tongue. Thanks to Jane Peters for her great contribution from Trulia. Check out these bloopers, and then you tell me what language these people are speaking:

Lapping It Up

“Awe-inspiting views”  (Enticing...if you’re sitting in a dental chair.)

“Look websight for time” (One look says you're out of time, pal.)

“EZ access-God direct” (Then text Him and ask Him where He mislaid your spelling gene.)

“Leave cad” (Too late – I divorced him.)

“Nice bird sanitary” (Sure…until they unload that stuff on your gourd.)

“Be sure to lick up” (Rent a pack of jackals, pal – this tongue ain’t for rent!)

No key to success

“Don’t tak key coz I’ll know who” (What are you going to do - beat me to death with your sixth grade diploma?)

“Seller said really want to be close” (That's what Arnold said to his housekeeper.)

“Laundrey in grarage” (…which is where you should park your license.)

“Big commas accent porch” (...like those question marks accent your career?)

“Must apply for loan fist” (...Said my Uncle Vito “The Vice” Vitaglia, the local loan fist back in Jersey.)

“Call tanks” (...Overheard during L.A. rush hour.)

Jane's Corner

Question (on Trulia): “Wat middle school to send my drauather?”

Answer: Dear Marshmallow Brain, 

My first piece of advice is: CERTAINLY NOT THE SCHOOL YOU ATTENDED!     My second piece of advice is: Do not smoke a bowl and then type – the results will be distrasterass.      My third piece of advice: SURE AS HELL NOT THE SCHOOL YOU ATTENDED!

My Picks of the Week:

“Will be nice if bend over” (...said the attorney to his client as he gave him his bill.)

"Pease turn lights out and leave kiss" (Honey, methinks the lights went out in your world a long time ago...so kiss your pathetic career good-bye!)

FOR MORE REAL ESTATE HUMOR, VISIT WWW.SHERLOCKOFHOMES.BLOGSPOT.COM/ OR YOU CAN ALSO VISIT GWEN BANTA AT WWW.LAHOMESITE.COM. THANKS FOR READING!

Cliff Keith
SF Bay Homes - Redwood City, CA
Redwood City Real Estate

What's wrong?  Ain't they got no up bringin'?

I always like the people who write: "Your Welcome" instead of You're Welcome or You Are Welcome.

The English language can be confusing.

Jul 31, 2011 08:05 AM
Adrian Willanger
206 909-7536 AdrianWillanger-broker.com - Seattle, WA
Profit from my two decades of experience

These almost seem like they were trying to get on MLS Bloopers of the week. LOL

Jul 31, 2011 08:29 AM
Jeremy Wrenn
Winslow Homes - Youngsville, NC
VP of Finance, Winslow Homes

Seems texting has made it over to the business world in the form of bad spelling.

What happened?  When I was in elementary school, everyone had to be part of the spelling bee.  Nowdays, no one can spell at all!

Jul 31, 2011 08:32 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Cliff, they ain't got brains...

Jul 31, 2011 08:42 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Adrian, maybe I should start a contest!

Jul 31, 2011 08:43 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Jeremy, a bee is now a 'b' and spelling is now 'splg.' It's elementary, my dear Watson.

Jul 31, 2011 08:45 AM
Jay Markanich
Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC - Bristow, VA
Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia

Truth be told, you probably are better off calling the tanks.  Especially when you need a signature on something.  I hear they get you wherever you need to go.

Jul 31, 2011 11:24 AM
Dick & Sandy Beals
Wilmington Real Estate 4U Wilmington, NC - Wilmington, NC

Gwen,

Leave cad is a Boston area MLS remark....spelled correctly, I think

Dick Beals

Jul 31, 2011 12:20 PM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Jay, I think I'd do well here in a Hummer. I could just roll over those idiots who park at stop lights while texting and eating a sandwich. Oh, wait, that's me...

Jul 31, 2011 12:21 PM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Dick, my bad - I should have known that. They "pock" cars there, too...

Jul 31, 2011 12:39 PM
Carol Barron Cross
SUNFLOWER HOMES & EQUESTRIAN LLC - Palm City, FL
Sunflower Homes & Equestrian LLC

You guys are so funny. Love your comments.

Aug 01, 2011 03:29 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Thanks for dropping by, Carol. We have bloopers every Friday, so stay tuned for more laughs.

Aug 01, 2011 06:48 AM
Charlene Storozuk
Dezigner Digz - Burlington, ON
Home Stager - Burlington Ontario

These are hillarious Gwen!  I especially liked 'leave cad'.  I'll have to watch for your Friday bloopers. Thanks for the laugh :-)

Aug 01, 2011 07:45 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Thanks, Charlene. I also liiked, "leave kiss." That's a desperate agent!

Aug 01, 2011 08:06 AM
Jane Peters
Home Jane Realty - Los Angeles, CA
Los Angeles real estate concierge services

And they keep on a'comin....

Aug 01, 2011 05:48 PM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Just like stupidity, Jane...it marches on.

Aug 01, 2011 05:53 PM