Today I took my family to the Capitol Grounds in Charleston. I went because it’s one of my favorite places and I hadn’t been there in so long. But I saw something that I just didn’t expect to see.
I’d never been in the War Memorial. It’s a beautiful tribute – four curved walls make a circle that surrounds you with the names of West Virginians who died to keep us safe. There are SO MANY NAMES. My daughters couldn’t believe there were so many.
I ran my hands along them, feeling their names under my fingers. I remembered that I’d heard somewhere West Virginia usually has more soldiers per catipa that most states. Some would say it’s because we’re poor and the military offers a way out. I think that we also feel a strong obligation to help wherever we can. We take care of each other when we’re needed. I can imagine that during times of war, West Virginians would feel a strong pull to protect our country.
All those names of soldiers who gave their lives to keep us safe … it seemed unreal.
And then I took a step back, and I noticed a plaque I’d walked right past on my way in the memorial. I froze. There was Ted.
I’ve lost a few friends in my lifetime, but Ted was first. We were 22 years old and he died in Desert Storm. So few soldiers were lost, but is there an amount that is an “acceptable loss”? No, not to me.
Ted was my best friend’s cousin, and he lived with her for our senior year. He helped me through a tough time once, he was a good friend to me and was wonderful to Tina. The three of us laughed together a lot. I thought he would always be around, that I’d know him my entire life. Tina and I are still best friends all these years later, but Ted is gone. When she called to tell me the news, she didn’t ask if I was sitting down. She was just crying, and when she told me why my knees buckled, I hit the floor.
Seeing his name there on that plaque brought it all back. Ted’s smile, Tina’s tears … “friendly fire”. (I do so hate that phrase.)
Each one of those names was someone who was loved just like Ted. Each name led to countless people who were devastated when they had to go on without them. Those walls became all too real to me. I had to walk away until I could compose myself.
Victor T. Lake, Jr. That’s my friend Ted, right there on that wall.
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