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Doing Good, Over Being "Right"

By
Home Stager with Owner, The Refreshed Home White Plains NY

some things are more important than being rightDoing Good, Over Being "Right"

Earlier this year I was called to a home by a Realtor I had done a lot of work with. Couple in their 50's, had lived in the house for over 20 years, raised their daughter, there, the whole 9 yards.

Lovely conversation on the phone, and a charming, funky house-right up my alley! When I got there, I liked them, and their house immediately.

By the end of the first meeting, several things became clear.  Yes, they loved this house, but they were ready to move on, and willing to do what was needed to bring the house up to speed. But a good part of their excitement was based on 'finally' getting it to look the right way'.

He was a little too vested in the specifics and details of what I was suggesting, and wanted to talk about things that were WAY beyond Staging....had to gently remind them several times that we were there to get their house sold, not solve  decorating challenges that stumped them for the better time of two decades...that there'd be time enough for that in their new home.

There were conditional things that needed to be taken care of first, so got them started with a plan, and things were moving along. Checked back a few weeks later, to confirm paint colors. Two more things became apparent. Work had slowed, almost to a stop, And he was ill. Seriously ill. 

There was still floor dust all over the place, and they were living off-site during the work, so I met her at the house. The colors he liked were not appropriate Staging colors...there were both vibrant and pastels, colors they both had always liked, just couldn't ever  figure out how and where to incorporate them into the house. 

Midway through my Stager's spiel about the importance of picking the right wall color it hit me. I only wish I saw it sooner. 

Took a deep breath and said to his wife-you know, he just wants to make this house right for you.

Immediately she told me she said she knew. And that she would never live here without him.

We both took a deep breath.  Clearly there had been many conversations between them about things more important that paint color.

To keep my equilibrium, I went back to Stager mode, and explained once the repair, prep, and trim is done, VERY EASY to just change wall colors, if that's what they wanted, and told her to tell him I agreed with his choices. We hugged, and I drove home with a heavy heart.

This was about a month ago, and I've thought about them a lot. Today I head from my flooring contractor that work stopped, and he removed his equipment from the house, because my client wanted to be home. My heart is again, pretty heavy right about now.

Not telling this story to showcase any great communication skills or wisdom. In fact, to share the opposite. It was by grace alone I shut up and really listened, looked and really saw.

In today's world, and our jam-packed days, being right counts for a lot. But as real estate professionals, we just don't deal with people's houses and stuff, we deal with their lives. And often, doing good, over being right is the right thing.

 

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Our spaces affect us profoundly...and so many other parts in our life fall into place when our spaces and possessions serve us in the best way they can. But getting there is much more than a pursuit of pleasing aesthetics.

 

Decorating and Staging are different, but much of the skill sets overlap, and each creates unique solutions that considers the needs, goals, resources, expectations, hopes and dreams of each client.

Bettering Westchester, Putnam and lower Fairfield counties since 1981, The Refreshed Home works collaboratively, and brings a thoughtful approach to the creative process. Proud to make a difference, as well as make a living. Offering specialty services such as remote and buyer consults, listing photo/video styling, guided and accompanied shopping, and accessory rental. We get in, get out, and you get on with your life.  Talk to me TODAY about how we can better your space!

  

                    

 

Marie Graham ASP, IAHSP, IDS Your Stager With A Mission!

QUESTIONS? Don't hesitate!! 914.607.2895 

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Gayle Barton, Forsyth County Real Estate
BERKSHIRE HATHAWAY Georgia Properties - Cumming, GA
Cumming GA Homes For Sale (404) 710-0204

Wonderful story and a great reminder that it's not about "us".  It's about the client.  Thank you for sharing!

Aug 09, 2011 07:13 AM
Krista Lombardi
Prudential Calfornia Realty - San Diego, CA

Very nice post. Thanks for sharing.

Aug 09, 2011 07:14 AM
Laura Sargent
Carolina One Real Estate - Mount Pleasant, SC

There's always a bigger reason why someone is buying or selling.  Change is not always happy.  Sounds like you've been very helpful!  

Aug 09, 2011 08:37 AM
Maureen Bray Portland OR Home Stager ~ Room Solutions Staging
Room Solutions Staging, Portland OR - Portland, OR
"Staging Consultations that Sell Portland Homes"

Good for you for realizing what was really needed by these clients.  I'm sure they appreciated your gentle handling of the situation.

Aug 09, 2011 09:19 AM
Christine Koch
eXp Realty - San Antonio, TX
Realtor - eXp Realty San Antonio TX

Marie this is a great story.  It shows you really understand what is going on and you did GOOD!

Aug 09, 2011 10:19 AM
Joanna Cohlan
Fresh Eyes For Your Home - Chappaqua, NY
Designing, Decorating & Staging Westchester Homes

Marie, thanks for sharing.  You know, we are often part psychologist and clergy when people are selling a home-we have to read between the lines all the time and sometimes it's not a happy story. 

Aug 09, 2011 03:28 PM
Marie Graham
Owner, The Refreshed Home White Plains NY - White Plains, NY
Westchester County Interior Decorator, Home Stager

Thanks all for 'listening'...Laura-I like that line, 'there is always a bigger reason why someone is buying or selling'.

Aug 09, 2011 10:29 PM
Janet Jones
Just Your Style Interiors, LLC - Kihei, HI
Home Staging, Interior Redesign Kihei, Maui, Hawaii

Hi Marie--Being "right" only means that someone else has to be "wrong" in the conversation.  Truly listening opens up the space for "possibility" to show up.  I hope all goes well for your clients. 

Aug 10, 2011 01:00 AM
Kathy Nielsen
http://atlantahomestaging.net - Marietta, GA
Atlanta Georgia Home Stager

Oh my. I don't know where to begin with my comments. My heart goes out to this couple, whom I've never even met. It's a great reminder to all of us that our role is much bigger at times. Bigger than we can even imagine. Listening, truly listening means everything. We learn so much, don't we, when we take the time? You did great!

Thanks for taking the time to share this very important message.

Kathy

Aug 10, 2011 01:53 AM
Julia Maher
Nestings: Connecticut Home Staging and Model Homes - Fairfield, CT
Connecticut Home Stager

Thank you for sharing, Marie - sometimes it is best to just be quiet and listen.  You also listened with your heart. 

Aug 10, 2011 04:08 AM
Nick T Pappas
Assoc. Broker ABR, CRS, SFR, e-Pro, @Homes Realty Group, Broker/Providence Property Mgmnt, LLC Huntsville AL - Huntsville, AL
Madison & Huntsville Alabama Real Estate Resource

Marie, sometimes we forget to listen...whether you think so or not...you are good at listening.  We can't always pick up on things from the start, but have to absorb bits and pieces of what we learn...eventually it comes together...just a little quicker for those who are sensitive to it...like you!

Aug 11, 2011 12:22 PM
Marie Graham
Owner, The Refreshed Home White Plains NY - White Plains, NY
Westchester County Interior Decorator, Home Stager

Janet, Kathy, Julia and NICK! You guys are the best, thanks!

Aug 12, 2011 04:05 PM
Wanda Richards
Shows Great Home Staging and Web Solutions - Roanoke, VA
Shows Great Home Staging

Great post and reminded me that everyone's situation is different and we have to take time to listen to what is really going on.  You are a wise and caring person to do this.

Aug 13, 2011 01:03 AM
Yolanda Cordova-Gilbert
Richmond, TX

Marie,

            Thanks for commenting on my blog. I got tears in my eyes when I read your story. This is so much more than a job it is about doing the good which is doing the right thing not being right. I so feel for this couple my heart does go out to them.

Aug 14, 2011 07:33 AM
Dawn A Fabiszak
Private Label Realty ( Denver metro area, Colorado - Aurora, CO
The Dawn of a New Real Estate Experience!

Marie ~ I have a lump in my throat.  Was he ever able to make it back home?  Please tell us he recovered and they were able to share more time with one another....please.

Aug 15, 2011 12:03 PM
Marie Graham
Owner, The Refreshed Home White Plains NY - White Plains, NY
Westchester County Interior Decorator, Home Stager

Wanda-thank you for your thoughts. We all "know" this stuff, but can be distracted so darn easily

Yolanda-what was so touching is that they had all the important stuff figured out already. We should all be so fortunate.

Dawn-I will find out and let you know. Thanks for asking.

 

Aug 15, 2011 12:22 PM
Will Hamm
Hamm Homes - Aurora, CO
"Where There's a Will, There's a Way!"

Marie,  Listening is so important, you do a good job at what you do!

Aug 18, 2011 03:17 AM
suzanne welch
Coldwell Banker - Croton on Hudson, NY

What a sad and real life story..my heart is heavy,too.

As for your other point, YES, so many people write "fluff" for the points or keep writing the same thing for POINTS.

Like we all say, content is king..or at least depth. Yup, you did the right thing.

Aug 24, 2011 02:26 AM
Marie Graham
Owner, The Refreshed Home White Plains NY - White Plains, NY
Westchester County Interior Decorator, Home Stager

Will-I admire the same thing about how you work!

Hey Suzanne-thanks for visiting...I've been away for a while, need to keep up with my buds!

Aug 24, 2011 01:31 PM