The subject line read "Gnomeland Security" and was from our client Mark Jamison of Webster, NC. I knew I was in for an entertaining email.
We've known of Mark a lot longer than we've actually known Mark. He is a prolific writer of letters to the editor, postmaster of Webster, NC and until recently a member of the Webster Town Board. We met through a mutual friend a couple of months ago. She had told him good things about our real estate business and he asked us to list some property he owns on Pressley Creek for him.
While getting familiar with the property, I had a chance to get to know Mark a little. Have you ever met someone that you wish you'd met sooner? I met him at his house in Webster, right next door to his post office. I was so taken with the gnome inhabitants living so openly right there in Webster that I spent some time photographing their habitat and posted a story about them.
After we listed the property, I wrote an article the property Mark has listed with us - an opportunity to own a mountain in Western North Carolina...67+/- acres...and the house is thrown in.
Anyway, back to the email. In response to something I'd written to Mark about being hip, he was reminded of the Allen Ginsburg poem "Howl" and paraphrased it a bit to suit his gnome needs. Thankfully just a stanza, if you remember the original poem was about a hundred pages long!
dragging themselves through the gnomic streets at dawn looking for a big mushroom,
doofusheaded bionic hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the big chair of night,
who stunned and pummeled and sunflowered and high sat up smoking in the supernatural darkness of Webster's Hills floating across Ma and Pa Maple contemplating jazz,
who bared their brains to Heaven under the County Seat and saw Gnomes, faeries and angels staggering on Webster roofs illuminated,"
People would be wise to never mock Gnomeland Security in Webster, NC. Just check with the Jackson County Sheriff's Department and you'll find that the gnomes are doing just fine keeping crime under control.
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