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Sometimes You've Just Got to Stop, Drop and Roll

By
Real Estate Broker/Owner with Cornerstone Business Group Inc 0225086119

Have you ever gotten up in morning and just had a strange premonition that it as going to be one of those days?   You know it's going to be one of those days when,

  • You see a "Sixty Minutes News Team" waiting in your office
  • Your twin sister forgets your birthday
  • You turn on the news and they are just playing emergency routes out of your city
  • You're following a group of Hell's Angels down the freeway when your horn goes off and remains stuck
  • You wake up to discover that your water bed has broken - then you realize you don't have a waterbed.

Are you all stressed up with no place to go?  If that describes you, you are not alone.  Real estate is not a stress free occupation.  I spoke with an agent recently who is dealing with a great deal of stress.  I've had those days.  I've adopted a system for dealing with those kinds of days.  I learned it in elementary school.  Remember the old "stop, drop and roll" practice when you're on fire?  It works when dealing with bad days too.

STOP - and take a breath.  Let your mind settle down and take a realistic look at your day.  What's really going on?  If it's related to problems with a contract you need to ask yourself, "What can be done?  Is it something I'm responsible for or is it somebody else's responsibility?  Am I making something larger than it needs to be?" 

If it's a personality issue, you can ask some of the same questions.  If someone in your office is hard to work with, what can you do to make the relationship better or more tolerable?  A while back I had a co-worker that was difficult to work with.  I liked her, but we were like oil and water.   I found the best way for us to work together was to have little contact.  When we did, I kept it cordial and pleasant, but I didn't try to extend our time together beyond the task at hand.  I was always complimentary of her and left it there.  It worked. 

DROP - things you don't own and can't change.  The co-worker in the previous example was one I had to drop.  I realized after about a year that we were never going to be good friends.  We could work together, and we could be superficial friends, but that's all it would ever be if we were going to work together.  That was OK.  Coming to that understanding made my life a lot less stressful, and she seemed to fine with that too.

ROLL - stuff off your back.  When I was younger I had a saying I picked up that said, "It's like water off a duck's back."  Meaning, water just rolls off a duck's back.  The same is true of many of the stressful things we tend to hang on to.  If it's not yours, and if you can't change it - then let it roll off.  Don't take ownership of problems that are not yours.   Sometimes it's hard to let things go, but for your sanity you need to do it. 

I can empathize with friends in turmoil.  I can offer advice, or be a periodic shoulder to cry on or even give a little guidance, but I can't be their stress bearer and be healthy myself.   You've got be cautious about being a regular sounding board for those who are only interested in spewing.  They will bring their life issues and drop them right in your living room.  Help where you can, but know your limitations. 

Bad days come and go, but if you learn how to deal with them they can be easier to deal with.  Just remember, stop, drop and roll

 

Comments (88)

Lisa Lyons
Vienna Realty, Inc. - Vienna, WV
CRS,GRI,SFR

That is a great post Mike. We all need to learn to take more control over our lives and leave behind what we can not change.

Aug 30, 2011 07:19 AM
Gene Riemenschneider
Home Point Real Estate - Brentwood, CA
Turning Houses into Homes

VEry good post. Sometimes you have to learn to deal with things without letting them get to you.

Aug 30, 2011 08:13 AM
Mike Cooper, Broker VA,WV
Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Neighborhood Real Estate Sales Pro

Thanks, Karen. I appreciate you dropping by!!

Yes we do, Lisa. 

That's for sure, Gene!

Aug 30, 2011 08:52 AM
Karen Hurst
RICOASTALLIVING.COM - Warwick, RI
Rhode Island Waterfront!

So! That's why!   It shows:)

 

Aug 30, 2011 09:17 AM
Mike Cooper, Broker VA,WV
Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Neighborhood Real Estate Sales Pro

Thanks, Karen.  I keep telling a counselor friend that I want to get a group rate to bring all of my Realtor friends in for therapy.  We must be crazy for doing this job.  8-)

Aug 30, 2011 09:22 AM
Nancy Hankin
RE/MAX Real Estate Consultants - Palm Springs, CA

Great REMINDER and often forgotten.  STOP to ACCESS the situation, DROP what's NOT IMPORTANT, and learn to ROLL WITH THE PUNCHES! This also sounds like a good thing to practice in relationships!

Aug 30, 2011 09:26 AM
Mike Cooper, Broker VA,WV
Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Neighborhood Real Estate Sales Pro

I think you're on to something, Nancy.  Thanks for stopping by!!

Aug 30, 2011 09:34 AM
Monique Ting
INET Realty Honolulu, HI - Honolulu, HI
Your agent under the sun

Mike, thanks for sharing these sound advices... As for me I must be a "duck" as I have learned long ago not to let anything stress me out. When confronted with stressful situations, I always take a step back & imagine the worse outcome... then deal with it in my mind. The reality always turns out to better than the worse!

 

Aug 30, 2011 09:50 AM
Mike Cooper, Broker VA,WV
Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Neighborhood Real Estate Sales Pro

Good advice, Monique.  Thanks for dropping by!!

Aug 30, 2011 10:05 AM
Gerard Gilbers
Higher Authority Markeing - Asheboro, NC
Your Marketing Master

Humor and reality - a great combination! Great take on an old saying, good advice too! 

Aug 30, 2011 11:16 AM
Mike Cooper, Broker VA,WV
Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Neighborhood Real Estate Sales Pro

Thanks, Gerard. 

Aug 30, 2011 12:56 PM
Karen Bernetti
Southington, CT

This IS wonderful advice! Especially .... Don't take ownership of problems that are not yours.    You definitely nailed it.  Oh - and Ilove your disclaimer! 

Aug 30, 2011 03:28 PM
CHARLENE PERRY, CLTP
Key Title Corporation - Perry Hall, MD
Insuring the Past to Protect Your Future

Mike

What a great post.  I too will be reblogging this one.  Thanks for the great read and the great information

Aug 30, 2011 03:44 PM
John M. Scott
BRE # 01442690, Scott Keys Properties - San Francisco, CA
Broker / Owner San Francisco Bay Area

Mike, I found myself once driving down the freeway, and at a junction with another freeway, looked like about 50 motorcycles. They don't play by the rules either. I get it.

Aug 30, 2011 03:51 PM
Claude Labbe
RLAH / @properties - Washington, DC
Realty for Your Busy Life

I had a particularlt snarly interaction this evening, and it wasn't even real estate related.  My thoughts kept coming back to "roll up this anger into a ball, and throw it into the fireplace".  Gee, I could have lit a bonfire with the logs or anger I threw into the fireplace.  And it was so inconsequential too.

Now, I've got to get back and be ready for the next earthquake, hurricane, or locusts that we'll be getting here in DC.  (oh yes, Congress comes back next week; there be the locusts since traffic gets much worse around Capitol Hill)

Aug 30, 2011 05:06 PM
Mike Cooper, Broker VA,WV
Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Neighborhood Real Estate Sales Pro

Thanks, Karen.  Have a great day!!

Excellent, Charlene.  Thanks for the re-blog!!

You bet, John.  Good time to take the other route.  8-)

That's worse yet, Claude.  Maybe that is the locusts descending upon DC.  Couldn't do much more damage.  8-)

Aug 30, 2011 09:35 PM
Dale Shin
Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage - Los Angeles, CA
Broker Associate

Great advice, thank you.  will remember to "stop, drop and roll!"

Sep 05, 2011 06:30 AM
Mike Cooper, Broker VA,WV
Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Neighborhood Real Estate Sales Pro

Great, Dale.  Happy Labor Day!

Sep 05, 2011 06:33 AM
Yvonne Wilder
Halter Associates Realty - Woodstock, NY

The One-Minute Manager Meets the Monkey.  And evidently the rubber duckie distracts the monkey who plays with it for a while and then runs off to swing through the trees and jump on someone else.  Like that. And like stop-drop-roll.

Sep 06, 2011 06:37 AM
Mike Cooper, Broker VA,WV
Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Neighborhood Real Estate Sales Pro

Thanks for dropping by, Yvonne.

Sep 06, 2011 07:11 AM