Have you ever gotten up in morning and just had a strange premonition that it as going to be one of those days? You know it's going to be one of those days when,
- You see a "Sixty Minutes News Team" waiting in your office
- Your twin sister forgets your birthday
- You turn on the news and they are just playing emergency routes out of your city
- You're following a group of Hell's Angels down the freeway when your horn goes off and remains stuck
- You wake up to discover that your water bed has broken - then you realize you don't have a waterbed.
Are you all stressed up with no place to go? If that describes you, you are not alone. Real estate is not a stress free occupation. I spoke with an agent recently who is dealing with a great deal of stress. I've had those days. I've adopted a system for dealing with those kinds of days. I learned it in elementary school. Remember the old "stop, drop and roll" practice when you're on fire? It works when dealing with bad days too.
STOP - and take a breath. Let your mind settle down and take a realistic look at your day. What's really going on? If it's related to problems with a contract you need to ask yourself, "What can be done? Is it something I'm responsible for or is it somebody else's responsibility? Am I making something larger than it needs to be?"
If it's a personality issue, you can ask some of the same questions. If someone in your office is hard to work with, what can you do to make the relationship better or more tolerable? A while back I had a co-worker that was difficult to work with. I liked her, but we were like oil and water. I found the best way for us to work together was to have little contact. When we did, I kept it cordial and pleasant, but I didn't try to extend our time together beyond the task at hand. I was always complimentary of her and left it there. It worked.
DROP - things you don't own and can't change. The co-worker in the previous example was one I had to drop. I realized after about a year that we were never going to be good friends. We could work together, and we could be superficial friends, but that's all it would ever be if we were going to work together. That was OK. Coming to that understanding made my life a lot less stressful, and she seemed to fine with that too.
ROLL - stuff off your back. When I was younger I had a saying I picked up that said, "It's like water off a duck's back." Meaning, water just rolls off a duck's back. The same is true of many of the stressful things we tend to hang on to. If it's not yours, and if you can't change it - then let it roll off. Don't take ownership of problems that are not yours. Sometimes it's hard to let things go, but for your sanity you need to do it.
I can empathize with friends in turmoil. I can offer advice, or be a periodic shoulder to cry on or even give a little guidance, but I can't be their stress bearer and be healthy myself. You've got be cautious about being a regular sounding board for those who are only interested in spewing. They will bring their life issues and drop them right in your living room. Help where you can, but know your limitations.
Bad days come and go, but if you learn how to deal with them they can be easier to deal with. Just remember, stop, drop and roll.