I am new to the blogging world. I guess you could call me a "late blogger." But I've been reading other blogs for a good long time. I know what I like when I see it. Apparently, what I like is not unique to me. There are some common elements to a successful blog that apparently lots of people are attracted to. The one element that is common among all the myriad of different styles of writing and topics for discussion is this, the ones that allow us to see into their personal life, the ones who have found a voice that is uniquely theirs and use it to allow us to develop a distant relationship with them are the ones I like the most. I'm not alone. 

It shouldn't be a surprise. There is a reason why the only newspaper growing in circulation in New York City is The New York Post. Their cover story in their print edition today was about the breakup of Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Anniston. We like to peer into other people's lives. We're all voyeurs to some extent. It only stands to reason that the more willing someone is to share their personal stories, the more likely we are to find something in common, something that makes us say, "Yeah, I can relate to that. That happened to me once too." And, the more likely we are to want to come back and read about them some more.

I am on an email list for a guy named Gary Fong. He's the biggest thing in Wedding Photography, or used to be before his blog. Now he's a celebrity of sorts. He told me personally a few years ago that he had over 30,000 subscribers to his Xanga Blog email. That's a lot, by the way. Here's his formula. He writes every day. His posts today are about his birthday, a new underwater camera, complete with photos of him and his friends playing underwater (including a moon) and an ad for his new Chromedomes. He invented something called the LightSphere. Every day he talks about the silly things his frends do, his jet setting travels, his vacation homes, his advice on investing in real estate, his love of music, he bride to be, whatever is happening in his life. I can't bring myself to unsubscribe, because I just never know what little tidbit of wisdom he'll weave into his personal stories. He is unashamed to say that he does this to sell more product. I "know" Gary because he has let me "know" him.

Last week Kristal Kraft talked about about Dooce.com, the blog by Heather Armstrong. Her formula is basically the same. The blog is about her life. The fact that she is a terribly gifted writing and a creative force to be reckoned with is a bonus, but the key is the personal nature of her blog. She is unafraid to share photos of her dog, child, relatives. I found her blog four years ago doing a google search on wedding photos. I still feel her contact me page is one of the best I've ever read. Oh, she gets 1,000,000 visits to her blog each month. I did not type that wrong. Sharing her personal life is now her living.

So this plays out here are ActiveRain as well. I've only been here a little more than a week and I already have my favorites. Imagine this, the ones I like the most have a disctinctly personal flair to them AND they appear to be the ones others like the most as well. I'm not surprised.

One ActiveRain Example: Broker Bryant

Why do you think his blog is consistently at the the top of the blog heap here at ActiveRain? There is no one right answer to that question. Here's what I think. I think it's because he uses his personal life to tell us stories that teach. We learn without feeling like he's being didactic. He kills two birds with one stone. He lets us into his personal world, so we feel like we have a relationship with him, all the while using the stories to illustrate an important lesson. Remember, this is all about relationships. He's has his own voice. He is not afraid to be personal and to let us into his world. And he does it consistently well.

How does he do it? I have no idea. But I know this for a fact, in order for someone to be that comfortable sharing their personal stories, they have to be comfortable with who they are first and foremost. I don't get the feeling he's trying to be perfect or convince anyone that he's better than them. I think he has a real desire to share and does so naturally. That's the key. It's natural writing. It may not win any Pulitzer prizes, but it's going to make a lot of people want to hear what he has to say. (There are lots of other blogs on ActiveRain I like by the way!)

There's no template to follow. How do the rest of us do what Gary Fong or Heather Armstrong or our own Broker Bryant does? As I went to find a post by Mary McKnight to illustrate someone who understands some of the elements of the "formula" I see that she wrote a post earlier today on How To Write A Blog That Generates Leads. (the world works in mysterious ways) The first thing she mentions you must do with your readers is establish that "you are like them". Someonehow we have to find our own sense of self and get comfortable with the result. It can't be forced. We can't decide who we want to be like and then fake it. It has to be authentic.

I am trying to find my voice and I know I've not found it yet. I know that one of the keys to success in all things is authenticity. If you meet me personally, you'll sense it in me. I know this. For some reason, it's natural for me to be authentic in person. How do I translate that to paper? I haven't quite figured that out yet. Perhaps you haven't either. But one thing is for sure -  when we do, when we present ourselves as authentic individuals and allow others to have as large a peek into our personal lives as possible, we'll see the same results as the examples above.