There are so many things that people hold dear to them. Whether it is because they paid a lot of money for them, or because someone special gave it to them, whatever the reason, people hold things dear to them. For me, it is my newly presented Citadel Ring. The coveted “Band of Gold” is something that I have had my eye on for three years, and now it is in my possession and I almost can not believe it. I hold it dear not because it costs a lot of money, or because it is shiny gold, but because it is a symbol of so many things that I do hold dear, and experiences that have shaped who I am now. The most important thing that I am reminded of is my family. For many cadets, the ring is all about them, about what they have accomplished and how far they have come in their cadet career. For me, it is about the resolve of my family to help me to finish. It was about a week or two before Parent’s weekend when I found out that my mother had breast cancer. I was devastated. She lived in Okinawa, Japan at the time, and I, in Charleston, could do absolutely nothing to help her. She was always there for me, and I wanted to be there for her. I begged and pleaded with my parents to send me a ticket and I would come home and take care of my mother. They wouldn’t allow me to come home, for that I am ultimately thankful. For a while I was extremely worried for my mother that she would not be around to see me graduate or get married or have children of my own. My aunt had died only months before after her years long fight with cancer, and I was afraid that family history would win out over modern medicine.

My family moved to Charleston from Okinawa in the following months, and that eased my mind. I was able to focus a little more on school since I could go home on the weekends and take care of my mother. Seeing her suffer with the chemotherapy treatments, was the most painful thing that I have ever seen, and yet she still managed to play mom to me, and listen to be gripe about the upperclassmen who were yelling at me all the time, and the boys that I liked and the teachers that I hated. She didn’t complain about her hair falling out, or the numbness in her fingers and toes, or the nausea, she continued on, as if it were nothing. It was during this time, that my mother taught me a valuable lesson; as long as you have your family, you have everything. In talking with her, and hearing her tell her story to others, it was me and my family that allowed her to keep on going, and not want to give up. All I could think of during this time was making it through the week so I could get home to her. It was as if nothing could bother me when I was with my mother, and with my family. The hardest thing for me was not being around them all the time. The Citadel is an extremely stressful place, and even more so without a support system. I found solace in the thought that when I received my ring, I would be near the end of the tunnel, the light would soon appear. When I look at my ring, I see in it my mother, her strength and her resolve. When I look at my ring, I see perseverance, and stamina and tenacity. When I look at my ring, I am reminded of the reason that I have stayed here for these three years… my family. With out them, I would not have made it through; I would not have wanted to make it through. When I wear my ring, I wear it for my family, my support system.          

Smiles

Stephanie Slan (CYH Citadel Intern)