Hi humans. My name is A. House and I'm five years old. I know that doesn't sound old to you but for A. House in Poinciana Fl that's pretty old. Some nice folks gave birth to me back in January of 2002. They liked me a lot. They made me look real purdy too. I was dressed up in bright red carpet and my skin inside and out was bright pink. I guess they figured since my street name was Flamingo they would make me look like a bird. I didn't mind too much since they took excellent care of me.
I knew they loved me. They paid $149,500 for me in January of 2002 which was a lot of money for A. House, my size, back then. I remember something about them not needing any money to give birth to me. So, maybe some of that money was closing costs but I'm not sure.
Everything was going well and then all of a sudden in late 2003 they quit taking care of me. I thought they didn't love me anymore. They quit making payments and started letting my grass grow and everything. I was neglected.
Then in May of 2004 this nice lady come over and stuck a sign in my yard and was trying to get people to give my humans $129,900 for me. I guess no one wanted me because 30 days later the sign was gone and my humans moved out. I was left here all by myself. It sucked.
I was all alone for more than two years. Finally, some guy in a three piece suit adopted me. But he didn't care about me, he never even looked at me, just put me on the books and renamed me REO. My name is A. House not REO!
Here I was, all alone again, until February 2007 when this big guy came over and stuck another sign in my yard. I don't know who he was but he was sooooo good looking. He was nice too. He had all these people come over and they gave me a bath, cut my grass and made me look purdy again. I was so happy. I thought he was going to move in and take care of me but he was just trying to find me some humans to adopt me for $185,000.
Not only was the big guy sooooo good looking but he was an excellent adoption Broker too! In fact, only 19 days later, some humans came in and decided they wanted me! I was so excited! I was so tired of being alone and just wanted someone to come stay with me. It's not good for A. House to be alone.
Then a few weeks later something happened. The guy, that was sooooo good looking, came back and put his "For Sale" thingie on his sign again. Something about the sub-prime fall out. The humans, that wanted to adopt me, couldn't do it any more. I was pissed!!!
It was very frustrating. Humans kept coming over and walking all over me but nobody wanted me. I felt so inadequate and started getting a real bad inferiority complex. I think the sooooo good looking guy was getting frustrated too. He changed my price to $165,000.
Then in August, another human came over and walked all over me. He had this funny looking thing in his hand and it looked like he was punching in numbers or something. I don't know if he loved me or not but he told the sooooo good looking guy that he would adopt me for $150,000. I guess the sooooo good looking guy was tired of coming over every week and checking up on me because he said, "deal!"
Three weeks later I had a new human! He was cool too. His name was Mr. Flipper. He came in and pulled up all my bright red carpet and replaced it with all this tile stuff. It was a little cold but it was real shiny!! I was lookin' good! I was so excited. I couldn't wait for this human to move in and take care of me. No more loneliness for me!
Well, was I ever wrong, Mr. Flipper, sent another lady over and she stuck a sign in my yard this morning. At least Mr. Flipper thinks I'm worth a lot of money. He now wants $225,000 for someone to adopt me! While I'm flattered, I fear I will be lonely for a long time to come. He ain't never goin' to get someone to pay $225,000 to adopt me. All the other Houses around me only get $150,000. Why is he doing this to me? I'm A. House, I'm not a retirement fund!
Maybe this time they'll change HIS name......to Mr. Flopper! You humans suck!
Copyright © 2007 Broker Bryant Real Estate Ramblings | All Rights Reserved
Comments(58)