Two Suggestions For Anyone Else Dreading This Week

Home Stager with Owner, The Refreshed Home White Plains NY

Two Suggestions For Anyone Else Dreading This Week

We started hearing what was coming a few weeks ago...a special report, an in-depth analysis, a retrospective. Now it seems today was the start of the 24/7 September 11th media binge here in New York. Photos never seen, stories never told, a look back.

Like most adults, I remember everything about that day...and much of what the days after brought. And even though I neither lost a loved one, or knew a responder, like everyone else I grieved over the numbing and incomprehensible losses.

I strive to be a thoughtful and considerate person. I understand people perceive and process things in their own time, in their own way, and I'm interested in-not threatened by-differences between myself and others. And I'm sure-in fact, I sincerely hope the annual events marking the day bring some comfort and reassurance into the lives of those left behind.

Laying in bed at 2am, found I was getting angry about, and stressing over is the idiot media onslaught that has started. Earlier this week the local cable station even ran a feature about a weather system that was hovering on the east coast that weekend before, 10 years ago, but blew off in another direction...their upshot was that 'gee-whiz, the weather could have changed history'. Really.

For anyone else wanting to honor the memory on your own terms, and keep your emotional equilibrium this week, I have two suggestions.

In the 1970's Catholics saw a shift in recommended Lenten behavior: deprivation had been the norm; instead, we were encouraged to do something positive for Lent. Whatever your faith or background, reaching out, and helping someone else, in memory of another is a time-honored tradition that makes everyone feel better.

In the days after the attacks, those in New York may remember a series the New York TImes ran. Not obituaries, they were approximately 200 word profiles of those lost, about a dozen or so a day. Each profile told us something special about that person, something their loved ones wanted the rest of the world to know.

They were called Portraits of Grief, and by December 31st of that year, over 1800 had been published. Some families could not be located, others were not ready, but in the years since, more have been published. The original profiles will always remain viewable online, and they were also put into a book, by the same name.

Read a few, say a prayer, and wish them peace.






Posted by


Our spaces affect us profoundly...and so many other parts in our life fall into place when our spaces and possessions serve us in the best way they can. But getting there is much more than a pursuit of pleasing aesthetics.


Decorating and Staging are different, but much of the skill sets overlap, and each creates unique solutions that considers the needs, goals, resources, expectations, hopes and dreams of each client.

Bettering Westchester, Putnam and lower Fairfield counties since 1981, The Refreshed Home works collaboratively, and brings a thoughtful approach to the creative process. Proud to make a difference, as well as make a living. Offering specialty services such as remote and buyer consults, listing photo/video styling, guided and accompanied shopping, and accessory rental. We get in, get out, and you get on with your life.  Talk to me TODAY about how we can better your space!




Marie Graham ASP, IAHSP, IDS Your Stager With A Mission!

QUESTIONS? Don't hesitate!! 914.607.2895 

email               web               blog


This entry hasn't been re-blogged:

Re-Blogged By Re-Blogged At
Real Estate General Information
New York Westchester County
I Love NY
Wrong Right Turn
The Vent
portraits of grief
honoring september 11

Post a Comment
Spam prevention
Spam prevention
Show All Comments
Fernando Herboso - Broker for Maxus Realty Group
Maxus Realty Group - Broker 301-246-0001 - Gaithersburg, MD
301-246-0001 Serving Maryland, DC and Northern VA

My daughter was born on Sept 11th. . she will be 8 years old Sunday

The doctor wanted to induce birth on that date. . 

my wife's family were adamant to not allow my daughter to be born on such a date, we reluctantly obliged and we  asked for another date.. .Sept 13th was then set. .

My daughter came anyway on the 11th. .bright and early!

On that sad day, we have something to celebrate and is the miracle of life.. . and we are happy that happened to us on the 11th . .for all the smiles she brings to people she touches.

Sep 04, 2011 10:47 PM #1
Lisa Von Domek
Lisa Von Domek Team - Dallas, TX
....Experience Isn't Expensive.... It's Priceless!

Good morning Marie,

Wonderful blog, great insight. Thanks for sharing.

Sep 04, 2011 11:00 PM #2
Larry O'Sullivan
Sandy, UT

Maria - great suggestions. For me 9/11/01 was 12/09/01. I was on the other side of the world, but the event was universal.

Sep 04, 2011 11:42 PM #3
Lenn Harley
Lenn Harley,, MD & VA Homes and Real Estate - Leesburg, VA
Real Estate Broker - Virginia & Maryland

Thank you for writing what I often think.  Good grief, stop wallowing and do something.  American officials draw attention to themselves by leading the exercise in grief wallowing, but can't seem to get their job done.

To this day, 10 years after first responders were unable to speak to each other via radio communication, they STILL ARE NOT. 

But, they can wallow in the fact that first responders were not able to speak to each other via radio communication 10 YEAR AGO.

Wallowing in grief is a lot easier than doing something to avoid future catastrophe.  Perish the thought we should develop programs to avoid catastrophe in the future.  With no future catastrophes, what would we have to wallow about??

Worse yet, what would the media have to report??  News???  Media rarely reports news.  They regurgitate the past ad nauseum.


Sep 04, 2011 11:45 PM #4
Marie Graham
Owner, The Refreshed Home White Plains NY - White Plains, NY
Westchester County Interior Decorator, Home Stager

Fernando-that is a great story, on several levels. Your daughter WAS born on that day to bring happiness to hearts that were hurting. Please give her an extra birthday hug from me.

Lisa-appreciate your stopping by and commenting.

Hi Larry-it took me a while, but 12/9 is just the putting the day before the month format, right? In any case, you are right. Thank you for your thoughts.

Hi Lenn  Grief is such an individual thing, and I can't decry what we are all subjected to this time of year, if it makes the burden of a family left behind any lighter. But yes, change is hard, and pain/drama that inflame emotions is what sells print and airtime. I did not know that first responders still could not communicate via radio...THAT is news, I wish someone would run with that story.

Sep 05, 2011 04:15 AM #5
Carla Muss-Jacobs, Principal Broker (503) 810-7192 | Portland Metro Exclusive Buyers Agent | 100% Buyer Representation ~ 100% of the Time - Portland, OR
Buyer Focused ~ Buyer Results

What a post Marie!  A way to say what many (including myself) have been thinking.  Now it's the "never seen before" sensationalism?!?  The news media's mantra is "if it bleeds it leads" and this has GOT TO STOP.  I like your attitude about changing the perspective.  Your lent example is perfect!!

Sep 05, 2011 09:54 AM #6
Nick T Pappas
Assoc. Broker/Broker ABR, CRS, SFR, e-Pro, @Homes Realty Group, @HomesBirmingham & Providence Property Mgmnt, LLC Hun... - Huntsville, AL
Madison & Huntsville Alabama Real Estate Resource

Marie, the "media does what the media does" and I don't think that will ever change, but if we as citizens can get beyond thinking of "me now" then we can do something positive.  I time goes by, collectively we tend to forget...we have short memories!   To effect a positive change we need to remember and not relax our feelings of events like 9/11.  I'm not sure this is speaking to what you are saying, but it certainly is something I've considered for a long while.

Sep 05, 2011 11:20 AM #7
Marie Graham
Owner, The Refreshed Home White Plains NY - White Plains, NY
Westchester County Interior Decorator, Home Stager

Hey Carla  it's taken a while to put the words together...of course my 'annoyance' could not compare with what the families have had to go thru, but it was something about that weather report 'special' that just put me over the edge, and made me realize the commodity September 11th has become.  Thanks for connecting, and subscribing!

NICK! Good to hear from you, and no worries, glad you joined in. The real pain is so jumbled up in the hype and drama, it's hard to sort through it all. It's good to be with friends at  times like this, appreciate your thoughts,


Sep 05, 2011 11:56 AM #8
Dan Edward Phillips
Dan Edward Phillips, Humboldt and Del Norte Counties, CA - Eureka, CA
Humboldt and Del Norte Counties, CA

Good Morning Maria, two excellent suggestions for honoring the memory of those affected by the tragedy. Thank you for adding the profiles link.

Sep 06, 2011 12:33 AM #9
Joanna Cohlan
Fresh Eyes For Your Home - Chappaqua, NY
Designing, Decorating & Staging Westchester Homes

Hi Marie-great insight to what will always be painful for many of us-we were all affected through six degrees of separation.

Sep 06, 2011 02:52 AM #10
Marie Graham
Owner, The Refreshed Home White Plains NY - White Plains, NY
Westchester County Interior Decorator, Home Stager

Dan-I bought the book a few years ago on ebay, it's really so sad, and so loving, all at the same time.

Thanks Joanna. Tough time, indeed.

Sep 06, 2011 03:00 PM #11
Mitchell J Hall
The Corcoran Group - Manhattan, NY
Lic Associate RE Broker - Manhattan & Brooklyn

Hi Marie, Good suggestions. I agree with you. I thought it was just me. I can't  watch the videos or look at pictures of the towers exploding anymore. I remember it vividly.  I will never forget but I don't want to see the explosion and black smoke over and over on TV. I don't think the families of victims do either.

I prefer to remember the loss but focus on the positive, the new safer buildings going up, the memorial, remembering those innocent lives lost, the brave first responders and men and woman in the military. I will never forget, I remember it like yesterday but don't like the sensationalism and exploitation.

Sep 09, 2011 01:51 PM #12
Marie Graham
Owner, The Refreshed Home White Plains NY - White Plains, NY
Westchester County Interior Decorator, Home Stager

Hi Mitchell-and thanks for joining in. NO, it's not you, far from it.  Broke down and watched some news today; some yahoo reporter was pressing this woman who lost a son in the towers-is #10 any harder>she replied every day is hard, shut him up good.

I am laying low this weekend, staying close to friends and kind people.

Sep 09, 2011 04:18 PM #13
Mona Gersky
MoonDancer Realty, Dillsboro,NC - Sylva, NC
GRI,IMSD-Taking the mystery out of real estate.

Marie, I am a recovering Catholic so I was unaware of the slightly more intentional and positive attitude where Lent is concerned - so thanks for that.

I wish I didn't feel jaded thinking that all of these "specials" commemorating 9/11 weren't just opportunities for more facetime for the media.  No one with a pulse and a conscience could ever forget that morning and the times that follow but I join with your other commenters decrying the sensationalism and exploitation.  I'd prefer to spend the time thinking of all of our common ground and the kindness of strangers.

Sep 11, 2011 02:00 AM #14
Marie Graham
Owner, The Refreshed Home White Plains NY - White Plains, NY
Westchester County Interior Decorator, Home Stager

Hi Mona-good to hear from you. I know what you mean. Perhaps if enough of us kept talking about this, and develop a more discriminating eye about what is worth our time, they will get the message...

Sep 12, 2011 12:57 AM #15
Jill Sackler
Charles Rutenberg Realty Inc. 516-575-7500 - Long Beach, NY
LI South Shore Real Estate - Broker Associate

After my open house that day, I came home and watched hours and hours of 9/11 tributes on television. By the end of the night, I was thoroughly depressed as I was when it happened. Your suggestions make sense.

Sep 14, 2011 01:43 AM #16
Post a Comment
Spam prevention
Show All Comments

What's the reason you're reporting this blog entry?

Are you sure you want to report this blog entry as spam?


Marie Graham

Westchester County Interior Decorator, Home Stager
Ask me a question
Spam prevention