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Housing market is leading to an increase in Divorce.Couples no longer able to handle the pressure.

In the last three months we have accepted 5 listings which are "Divorce Sales". In each instance it`s do to the obligation of meeting their mortgage payments.Faced with pressure,these couples are blaming one another! Rather than attempt to work together to resolve the problem, they find it easier to separate. They each have in common the same exact problem "No one is able to make a decision" on what price to sell for!

It`s a rather delicate subject,but I`m sure this is happening across the country and eventually the media will start writing about it once the statistics are digested.The correlation between failure to live in a home and mounting bills are really straining to a relationship.When times are good people are happy,they love and laugh in unison.When the world is bad they get ugly with each other. Human nature is funny that way!

It`s a trend that will continue as long as Real Estate prices spiral down.Many couples can`t face the reality of mounting bills,higher mortgage payments and decide it`s better to part.

As we move forward this trend is happening at an alarming rate leading to Foreclosure.

Realtors, I`m wondering if you`re seeing this as well?

Posted by Scott Daniels Florida Real Estate 2.0. Agents Earn 100% Commission. on 10/26/2007 01:10 PM

Comments (67)

real estate trends

This post has been included in Florida Information Broward County, FL Information

67 Comments on Housing market is leading to an increase in Divorce.Couples no longer able to handle the pressure.

OCT

2007

Yes Scott we have seen a great number of these in the last year. I even wrote a blog on how to help agents cover themselves when dealing with this situation.

Unfortunately, yes. It's very sad. I've often heard that a big "trigger" for divorce is financial difficulty. The housing market certainly seems to be having an effect on marriages because of this.

It is not uncommon for financial problems to lead to divorce. I too have seen an uptick in divorce cases.

RK,

Awaiting the media to report this trend.

KW,

makes you wonder if some of these couples married for the right reasons.

Keith,

Send the link. I`d like to read it..

I think couples (and singles) are under a lot of pressure today, not just with making their house payments, but higher property taxes, energy costs and insurance premiums. Every time you turn around, someone has their hand out, looking for money.

Politicians who claim to be pro-marriage or pro-family should be asking themselves what they plan to do to relieve the pressure and the huge burden that seems to be damaging to families.

Scott, I think that the overall financial pressure, certainly to much housing is part of the cause. People bought the big house then had furnish it and take their vacation and on and on. Total fiscal irresponsibility is the straw that broke the camels back.

4 reasons why people sell..not in any particular order.

divorce

death

up-size or down size

foreclosure

You pick the ones you like better.

Eric,

Family Values is a dream to some of these pundits.

Neal,

Relocation as well..

Gaylen,

Buy now pay later...

I have seen so much of this happening in my area as well. It is a shame that the answer always seems to be divorce. As for me if I couldn't find a solution I would welcome my home back to the bank with open arms before I ever gave up on my marriage !

Scott, I had a purchase fall apart due to divorce. We made the offer on a short sale on April 1 and were jerked around royally despite my consistent & persistent calls to the lender. Offer accepted on JULY 3, when I informed my buyers, they told me they had decided to file for divorce.

Scott, I am working with a few divorce situations. I don't think that the cause of the divorce was the housing market, but I think it complicates/compounds matters when they have to sell a home.

I believe it, financial pressure is always a big contributing factor, increase the pressure and increase the result.

This is not at all surprising. When my husband and I were facing foreclosure in 2002, it was incredibly stressful for both of us. It wasn't so much of a blame game that was taking place as much as it was just the pressure to get through very trying times. Our situation was due in large part to my husband's failed business venture. Sometimes, all I wanted to do was run and I know my husband felt the same. We banded together and decided that if we were going to live in a van down by the river, we were doing in together.

We saved the house, the marriage and the failed business venture eventually took off. We learned that any purchases we make over a certain amount require both of us in complete agreement. We have some rather heated debates over purchases at times but in the end, if we do make a bad decision, we are making it together.

I share this story with my clients when one spouse is trying to convince the other that if they just don't eat out as much or cancel HBO, they can afford a larger mortgage.

On my way out the door today I caught a glimpse of a special report on stress on the news...it was being related to people unable to pay their rent and mortgage...apparently there has been a huge increase in stress.

I hadn't thought of that factor. I have seen couples gain strength because they are being proactive about a solution rather than masking of the problem. I feel like I am fortunate to not run into this type of situation!

I arrived here via Digg and am not a Realtor (although my brother is).

Financial problems are merely a symptom of a deeper problem. When money is plentiful "times are good" - or so it appears. As some above have pointed out - the truth surfaces when times get tough. On a larger scale - how can we hope to strengthen families when as a nation we can't even agree on what a "family" is. Relativism has become the battle cry of our culture - where one's "opinion" is as good as another and there is no higher authority than the "self".

Someone above made the point about getting married for the wrong reasons. Again I agree - but until we can agree on "right" and "wrong" the point is moot.

"Everyone who listens to these words of mine and acts on them will be like a wise man who built his house on rock. The rain fell, the floods came, and the winds blew and buffeted the house. But it did not collapse; it had been set solidly on rock. And everyone who listens to these words of mine but does not act on them will be like a fool who built his house on sand. The rain fell, the floods came, and the winds blew and buffeted the house. And it collapsed and was completely ruined."

Matthew 7:24-27

These times are trying for everyone - hopefully the winds are changing and their will be fewer of these cases.

Scott, I guess it makes sense that divorce follows financial problems, but I'm not sure how the people figure that paying for two dwellings will improve the bottom line. The spouse and I are no strangers to $ problems in our past, but we took each other for better or worse, That was just some of the worse. We got through it better together than we would have separately.

Ironically, I've read that another time couples are likely to divorce is after they've won the Lotto.

When marriages are in trouble, it is human nature to try to "blame" something...some outside force. In reality, the couples must look within themselves because the cause lies within each of them. It's a choice they make to either tough it out and make it work, or walk away. Sometimes people feel as though it will be easier to just walk away, but as Karen said above, paying for two households will only increase their financial woes...not make them better.

In Cyprus where I live many people come to retire - sadly, I get most of my listings because a spouse is ill and they have to return to the UK for the healthcare which is generally free there. When I was in the US though (not as an agent or even in the business), many friends got loans that were way over their heads and really had to struggle to keep up. It is definitly a strain on a marriage!

Cleo,

why do you think the euro is out pacing our dollar?

Kelly,

I once sold a couple who bought a home never to move into because they fought over the colors of the house, they seperated there after..

karen,

New generation of math?

David,

This is a major problem in our country..Strees kills.

Melissa,

Holy Cow!

JB,

Thanks for the up lifting psalm.

RB,

You`re very lucky at not dealing with a hard situation.

JB,

What happened to have and to hold?In thickness or in health?

carl,

I read the same article on msn.

amanda,

I bet your relation with hubby is very loving...

Scott, I also think the problem comes from how disposable everything is in our current society. When you don't like your car, just get a new one, when you don't like how your job is going, just get a new one, when you don't like your marriage, just get a new one. No body like to really work hard for things anymore or take responsibility, at least hard work isn't a priority in our media, in our society or in our way of life. It is really unfortunate that we see these trends occurring more frequently and how fickle we as humans are...

Well if I don't start selling some real estate soon
the wife just might kick me to the curb.
I'll have to live in this
tear drop
But I will pick her a few flowers and woo
her back with my irresistible charm.
flowers for her

So where's the great economy we are supposed to be having?

There was a guy here that took his life yesterday because he refused to get out of a house that had been foreclosed on. There was a SWAT standoff and all. The prelude to the situation was a separation from his wife who had recently had twins.

There were some other factors but the stress of it all probably influenced the other factors as opposed to the other way around. Who know?

Scott, I am. In fact, a few weeks ago some past clients who had a son a year ago called and asked me to come over and list their house. When pulling the tax records it became obvious that money had been pulled out of the house several times and was at a point where it would have to be sold as a "short sale."

They confided that they were going to separate and wanted to sale the house.

Now, you may disagree with this but here is what I told them...

"See that little boy...he's the most important person right now. You have 3 bedrooms, I suggest that you each take one and wait out this Real Estate market.

The grandparents live across the street which makes it perfect for taking care of your son and neither one of you has the money to live any place other than an apartment if you chose to go through with this. You need to do the right thing and the smart thing."

They chose to stay together and not sell the house. Sometimes, we need to give our clients other options rather than the ones they currently are considering especially when we know that it is not in their best interest.

Hopefully, in a few years, they will remain together but if not, at least they will be a little bit better financially off to deal with their future and the future of their son.

I'm sure there are a lot of couples going through the same scenario. Money problems add so much stress and pressure to a marriage. The numbers should be staggering once we get through this time in Real Estate.

I had a situation where the wife was still in the home and the husband wasn't. The home desperately needed a price deduction but the wife resisted. I don't think she really wants to leave for here replacement home will be a huge step down. I finally allowed it to expire and passed the problem onto another agent who still hasn't got the home sold.

Scott,

Guess you've never been through divorce. It's kind of a lose, lose situation. And generally most parties have a tendancy to blame the other. I'm not seeing a lot of that in my area but I've experienced it first hand.

Its sad that anything would break up a happy home. I haven't experienced this situation but I have heard fellow real estate agents tell me that they hate doing a sale with a couple who are either in the middle of a divorce or have already divorced. Great post.

I don't think the real estate market is to blame for divorce ... that's just silly!

Instead, it's lack of communication that causes divorce. As human beings, we tend to block communication during hard-times. Add to that the stress of finances and you've got yourself a classic situation that many can't cope with.

Crazy there are so many stress factors in or lives I can not imagine the added stress of a marriage. I am glad this is featured.

I'm 55 and money has always been one of the leading causes of divorce. Where is the great society we are supposed to have? Well it's here if people buy when they can afford to and DONT when they can't.

sad post but true, i think if you look deep the problem is more than just a mortgage

While money is the main reason for divorce, it should not be treated lightly, I guess my generation was raised a little different, we were raised to believe marriage was a one time thing, as far as the mortgage end of it, we have been dealing with request for home refinances for the sole purpose of buying the other spouse out. it seems to be happening more frequently these days. These people need to go back to there wedding night, together for better or worse, what happened to that?

Scott, that is a very interesting situation. I'll have to keep my eye open for that one.

Scott,

Interesting perspective. Financial strain of any kind can be very difficult on any relationship, including marriage. The availability of easy credit has put out entire nation at risk. I often question with whom the voice of reason lies...is fast, easy credit and instant gratification the answer?

I have been selling real estate since 1991 and have been amazed over the past 2-3 years at the changes in the lending criteria that allowed people who can't save at all to purchase homes. Is it no wonder then that after a year or two of struggling that they just give up-both on making their payments and their relationships?

On more than once occassion I have listed foreclosure properties where the homeowners took 125% of the value of their home in the form of a loan. This infusion of cash was used to buy new cars, boats, jewelry and then what did they do??? Here's a surprise...stop making their loan payments. So what if the lender forecloses on them. They have their toys, free and clear, and with any luck at all can buy another home in 4-7 years. Something is wrong with a system that allows for this to happen. It has to change. I think change is coming but it is slow and painful and is causing this country a lot of problems.

As prices adjust downward slightly, and with lenders running a little cautious, I think we'll see our markets level out and perhaps we as Realtors can help educate the at risk purchasers about some simple financial truths and prevent some heartache and credit woes.

I think it's the same situation as a couple getting married too young - they are melded together with common goals - We Want It All. Only when the reality of life intervenes and each of them need to make choices and rank values do their differences appear. When Perfection becomes Reality - often divorce is the result.

It is unfortunate to say but divorce has always been good for the real estate market. So many divorces; so many houses to sell. That was in the past. Now they may just give the house back.

I haven't seen an increase in divorce sales, but I have been helping many couples trying to sell their homes to avoid foreclosure. I just hope that by helping them get out from under bad loans and out from under properties they paid too much for it's enough to take away the strain it puts on relationships.

I've been on about 20 listing presentations and 6 of them where divorces. I don't know what caused the divorce, but it seemed rather odd having so many this year.

Interesting topic, as real estate professionals we do get involved in many personal aspects of peoples lives. But that's not a bad thing, helping is what we do and what better time to help then when they need it most.

I've seen a recent increase in spousal murder/suicides where I live. Lack of stable finances can lead to alot worse than just divorce. But as the tide begins to turn on the RE industry, at least here in Central Florida, within the next few months, we should see these kinds of trends ease.

That is truly sad. I hope this doesn't keep up!

A common situation is when income drops or disappears. This isn't the clients' fault and the increase in effort to try to make the income or acquire a new job become too stressful and all consuming. Families now have big bills. In some areas you have very high earners who maintain a certain lifestyle with second and maybe third homes, 3 luxury cars, overseas vacations, private schools for multiple children, then you have the strivers who try to acquire some of these trappings. There is a book out about this that mentions people buy luxury items because they want to live a " rich lifestyle of leisure" and the luxury item is stand in. Look at the Ralph Lauren Ads. Consumers love the items and what he advertises is the super wealthy , moneyed fantasty. Not everyone can not work and be rich, but if you acquire the limited edition MB or second home you can persuade yourself into thinking you are well to do when the fact is, depending on where you live and how much it costs, you have just acquired another item that will be a drain on your income. Obviously I am not talking about the million to 5 million a year earner, but a family who may earn a couple of hundred thousand, and if they lose a portion of that still have these big expenses. They may not even be spending money on designer goods, simply have a house in a good school district, 20K taxes, two cars on lease and paying all the normal bills. Keeping kids in athletic programs, lessons,equipment, not to mention tutors and school charities, it adds up. We haven't even discussed feeding a family. Part of my family lives in the Ann Arbor area and they are astonished at what people spend to live in the Tri State area.

Studies show that the number one cause of divorce is financial problems, and one of the top causes of financial problems is divorce. So which came first, the financial problems or divorce? O lets just blame it on the housing market.

I have seen the same thing in my market as well. Not an alarming increase but an increase non the less. I went to a brokers open yesterday which had the exact situation that you described. It is truly sad to see happen but not uncommon in any economic downturn

OCT

2007

it is not surprising that under pressure people get angry and go out the easy way...it's pretty sad...We should stay married what ever happened. Divorce=Destruction

I hope hte market will kick back up and the world will be happier...

Scott,

Not sure that the media will find the time to report on this trend unless it leads to some type of violence.

I got a good one for you Scott, in July I put a "Divorce" sale home on the market, Wife is out, Husband is in house with girl friend. Wife wants the house sold, husband knows he has to sell house, girlfriend Loves house and wants to live there with her prince for ever!! Showings were almost impossible unless I got the wife involved. The girlfriend would lock herself in the bedroom and not let customers in, or she made it very uncomfortable for the buyer to look at the house because of her extream rudeness. In any event, We got a FULL PRICE OFFER!!! and I presented to the Husband first, then the wife. The wife of course signs it right away. The husband decides he does not want to sell the house and pulls the listing. The buyers were crushed!!! (Nice house) About a month goes buy and last week the husband calls me and decides he NEEDS to sell the house. I talk to the wife, I talk to the husband, I call the agent that brought the FULL PRICE OFFER. The buyers want to see it again, they have not found anything else. The girlfriend is rude to them after the buyers agent asks her to step outside so her buyers can look with out feeling uncomfortable. She says no she would not step outside, When the buyers arrive they decided if she can't step outside they don't want to see it. Next day Husband calls and says he is listing with another Realtor because Im friends with the Husband and Wife. Wife doesnt want to list with someone else, So I don't know if the house will ever get on the market!!!

The economy is simply not in good shape. At best, it's an extremely uneven economy. Washington is out of touch with reality when it comes to the problems of what we politely describe as the "middle class" and state governments are no better. You read about this every day. Retailers are expecting a lackluster holiday shopping season. Credit card companies are pushing for legislative aid. Housing is..well, I think we can all speak on that subject.

Scott, great post. I am thinking of getting my marriage counselors license so that I can deal with these additional issues that come up now.

Divorce is sad. It is not because there was a "happy home" broken up. We do not know what goes on beyond closed doors. Many divorces are because two people have tolerated each other under the same roof. Sometimes due to some life altering experience one may have decided the time was right to make the final change.

Many times we judge others and we shouldn't. We will be judged some day and I personally believe it will be by a higher power, it is not our job to do so. I have faith but could not direct you to any particular verse in the bible. But, I did like JB's comment about Matthew 7:24-27. Was the marriage bilt on a solid foundation - such as a rock, or fun in the sun such as sand?

Personally, I encourage clients, family and friends that if there is anything to work from to rebuild their marriage that is what they should try to do with the assistance of a good marriage counselor. Our job is to work with these people to take a tough situation and assist them in comprimising as much as possible in both their best interests.

We see it here too and have been trying to come up with a way to add a service to help these people out.

I had a Google alert about this being the hottest post on ActiveRain;

Zillow Blog says:

"Note: I was just about to hit the publish button when Sara Bonert, our intrepid Industry Relations Manager in Chicago, chimed in to say the hottest post on ActiveRain right now is titled, "Housing Market is leading to an increase in divorce." Wow. This thing really does have legs."

Of course the Zillow Blog entry was about buyiing a house nothing to do with selling, It's called "He Wants to Buy, She Wants to Wait. " Congrats on having the hottest entry on AcitveRain.... If "Housing Market is leading to an increase in divorce." is on Good Morning America on Monday, we can all say we heard it here first from Scott Daniels.

Maureen,

Thank You...

These poor couples are going to in for a shock if they think divorce has a positive effect on finances. I see all my fellow agents in our office that have dual incomes and it certainly gives them a comfort level that is lacking in a single income situation. Even if you don't work in a commission based field, having to pay all the expenses to keep everything afloat when the second income you are used to has gone is no picnic for most people. I guess its another case of the grass seeming greener on the other side.

Well done Scott. Folks are certainly under a lot of stress right now. And when that happens existing problems rise to the surface. It's not only buyers and sellers but folks in our industry that are having difficult times.

I wonder if some agents will start to get sued as well, for selling them a home that they could not afford? Its a sticky situation

This is sad all the way around.

Its weird that the housing market slowdown leads to divorce. But getting divorced usually leads to more financial problems.

Hi Scott here is the link you asked for http://activerain.com/blogsview/231168/Divorce-Listings

Robin had to go to court and testify that the home was sold at fair market value. It was a big mess.

I wish I could say that things will get better in the very near future, but unfortunately, at least here in southern Calif., I think think will get worse b4 they get better. Great post.

OCT

2007

I had a similiar situation recently. The husband lost his job and the wife of course blamed all of their problems on the husband. At the time when the husband needed the wife's support the most all he received was ridicule. Every time we met about the status of selling their house the wife would blame everything on the husband. It was sad. But it did teach me to be more supportive of my own husband.

This hits home with our friends who are experiencing the same problem.

It is sad to watch.

NOV

2007

Scott:

Its a shame about divorce rates going up because of the market. Of course, you may want to consider this niche market. Afterall, for every divorced couple there are two households. This is definitely a more sensitive and emotional customer and it takes an agent with much empathy (not sympathy) to handle these transactions.

JAN

I think it's not so much the housing market that leads to divorce but the inablility to communicate with each other. The housing market merely brings it to the surface.

FEB

Our training course can help real estate brokers learn how to better help their divorcing clients. We offer a designation called "Certified Real Estate Divorce Specialist." Divorcing people need all the help they can get during a very difficult time.

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