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Five Rules For Communication

By
Real Estate Agent with Healdsburg Sotheby's International Realty

Ever wait by the phone or computer hoping someone would tell you what is going on with a transaction*. Maybe you have urgently needed a lender, agent, title officer, appraiser, or inspector to call back or send you an email about a deadline or a needed decision. Maybe you just needed to find out if a transaction had recorded so you could hand over keys to anxious new owners.

I have some points for all of us who have been on the "didn't call" side of the phone or email, and I occasionally include myself in this population.

  • It's not fair and it's not right to be the person everyone else is waiting on.
  • Every one of us has had hard phone calls to make with bad news.
  • None of us are blameless in forgetting a call or an email.
  • It doesn't matter if you don't have any news or progress to report.

You owe it to your fellow humans to tell them everything you can to help them understand what's going on, even if you don't have a clear picture of the situation yourself. Tell them what you know and what you don't.

Five Rules for Communication

1. Communicate in every direction as often as the pace requires.

2. Saying "I don't know" whenever it's true is both mandatory and praiseworthy.

3. For clarity and commitment, saying "I don't know" requires a "but here's what I'm doing" clause.

4. The pace of communication should always rise to match the need. 

5. In peak pressure times, don't allow any assumptions. Communicate frequently.

If you're in real estate, you know how confusing a multi-party transaction gets. There are a minimum of half a dozen people critical to the workflow and that's not even counting the two key parties, the buyers and sellers. When communications break down, confusion, frustration, and frayed nerves are common. It's all so simple to avoid just by making sure everyone knows what is going on. 

For those who think five rules is too many, I have a version of my communication philosophy reduced to nine words:

Nine Words to Guide You

Communicate Often

In Every Direction

Even With No News

I guarantee you nobody will complain about your communication skills if you commit to do business by these rules. They're not bad for your personal life either.

*Disclaimer. This post was triggered by a bank employee who didn't seem to think deadlines mattered...or communications. Everyone else in the transaction was great at communicating.

Kelly Olszewski-Realtor- Quarryville (Lancaster County), PA
Prudential Homesale Services Group - Quarryville, PA

Now this post should be required reading for everyone.

Thanks Dave!

 

Oct 03, 2011 07:46 AM
Anonymous
David Nicholson

Dave,

I seldom share information en masse, but felt your words bore repeating!

We all can become 'busy' and forget from time to time, but you are correct. We must be both considerate and professional in keeping clients, friends and family up-to-date on what is ocurring in transactions as well as in personal lives.

Thanks for the reminder!

David

Oct 03, 2011 08:01 AM
#13
Dave Roberts
Healdsburg Sotheby's International Realty - Healdsburg, CA

David and Kelly - thanks for your thoughts

Oct 03, 2011 08:12 AM
Christine Smith
Buyers Brokers Only LLC - www.BuyersBrokersOnly.com - Canton, MA
Exclusive Buyer Agent & Attorney, Canton, MA

Dave....this is SO true!  I have spent many hours waiting to hear back from people - phone, email or text - I'll take the information anyway they want to deliver it!  Especially true is to report in even if there is no news.  That way people don't think you have forgotten them.

Oct 03, 2011 09:03 AM
Reba Haas
Team Reba of RE/MAX Metro Eastside www.TeamReba.com - Bellevue, WA
Team Reba, CDPE

I am so in agreement with you on all of these points and cannot emphasize their importance enough within my own team. Kudos to you for having it figured out, I hope everyone reading this post learns the lesson.

Oct 03, 2011 09:22 AM
Dave Roberts
Healdsburg Sotheby's International Realty - Healdsburg, CA

Christine, I like your ...anyway they want to deliver it!  Exactly right. That painful feeling of being forgotten is one of the most worrisome parts of a transaction.

Reba - thanks for the kind words. I hope your team all can be excellent communicators.

Oct 03, 2011 09:46 AM
Steven Cook
No Longer Processing Mortgages. - Tacoma, WA

Dave -- the other side of the coin is that the one receiving the communication needs to "actively listen" to what is being communicated, so they aren't expecting something down the line the wasn't promised.

Oct 03, 2011 10:42 AM
Rob Kittle
Kittle Real Estate - Fort Collins, CO
"We Specialize, You Benefit!" -Kittle Real Estate

In our profession, communicatiing is the most important skill you must master, communicating clearly and responsively will lead us to more opportunities in the business. Great list! For me the best practice i am doing is talking to the right person and talking the most important things that are need to be addressed and doing a follow up.

Oct 03, 2011 03:48 PM
Christine Donovan
Donovan Blatt Realty - Costa Mesa, CA
Broker/Attorney 714-319-9751 DRE01267479 - Costa M

Dave - These are recommendations to live by.  It will make a difference to so many.

Oct 03, 2011 04:06 PM
Janet Jones
Just Your Style Interiors, LLC - Kihei, HI
Home Staging, Interior Redesign Kihei, Maui, Hawaii

Hi Dave--what a great post.  Communication is so critical--and you're right, when the things are moving it is time to communicate more--even if there is no news.  Just helps to keeps one's nerves in check. 

Oct 03, 2011 05:18 PM
Sandy Acevedo
951-290-8588 - Chino Hills, CA
RE/MAX Masters, Inland Empire Homes for Sale

Hi Dave, this a great post. I like the nine words because you can take that and tack it to your calendar/cork board/ mirror or whatever.....

Oct 03, 2011 05:18 PM
Dave Roberts
Healdsburg Sotheby's International Realty - Healdsburg, CA

Steven - great point on active listening. It's as or more important than what you say.

Erica - you nailed the essence. Don't just communicate but follow through.

Rob - very good idea to prioritize your communication and make sure you are talking to the right people. Excellent.

Janet - absolutely right about keeping the nerves in check. My last transaction was a bit too nerve-wracking with the banker absolutely failing to communicate clearly.

Sandy, I'd be honored if anyone put those words up as a reminder.

Oct 03, 2011 06:32 PM
Marge Piwowarski
Phoenix AZ Horse Property - Phoenix, AZ
Phoenix AZ Horse Property, LLC

Yes!  I communicate with everyone involved in a transaction at least weekly.  More if something is happening, but never less.  The buyer, the other agent, the lender, and anyone else involved.  The people I most like to work with are those who also value communication.

Oct 03, 2011 06:58 PM
Dave Roberts
Healdsburg Sotheby's International Realty - Healdsburg, CA

Marge - you sound like a great agent to work with. If any of my equestrian folks decide to relocate to the Phoenix area, I'll know where to send them.

Oct 03, 2011 07:06 PM
Cheryl Ritchie
RE/MAX Leading Edge www.GoldenResults.com - Huntingtown, MD
Southern Maryland 301-980-7566
I like the but here is what I am doing even though I do not know the answer part up there!
Oct 03, 2011 10:30 PM
Mike Cooper, Broker VA,WV
Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Neighborhood Real Estate Sales Pro

Good simple advice, Dave.  Good communication is an art, and it makes life so much easier in this business.  Have a great day!

Oct 04, 2011 12:44 AM
Scott Godzyk
Godzyk Real Estate Services - Manchester, NH
One of the Manchester NH's area Leading Agents

Dave this is great advice, hearing no news is at least hearing something. There are so many times we have to wait in this bisiness, waiting for the seller to acceot an offer, waiting for inspection results, waiting for the appraisal and waiting for the mortgage committment. Your 9 words are words to live by

Oct 04, 2011 01:40 AM
John M. Caputo - Broker/Owner, ABR, SRES
Housescapes Prime Properties, Inc. - Warwick, NY

Hi, Dave - An excellent post and so very true! I can't tell you how many times I've waited to hear back from partners in a transaction that just don't sense the urgency or need to communicate timely and effectively! Have a great day and thank you for sharing, John

 

 

 

 

Oct 04, 2011 02:04 AM
Howard and Susan Meyers
The Hudson Company Winnetka and North Shore - Winnetka, IL

Dave...Super post.  So often, agents are hesitant to communicate because they don't want to be the bearer of bad news. 

Place yourself in the position of the party who you are/are not communicating with...Any news is better than no news at all.

Oct 04, 2011 02:22 AM
Dave Roberts
Healdsburg Sotheby's International Realty - Healdsburg, CA

Scott - you're exactly right about how much time we spend waiting. It helps so much to know what's going on on the other side of the wait.

John - good use of the term urgency. That's the perfect word for many of the key moments for me in a typical transaction. Are they going to counter? Are they going to release contingencies? Is the bank going to accept the appraisal? 

Howard and Susan - Thanks for adding a variation of the Golden Rule into the discussion. I think putting yourself in the other party's shoes is the essential mindset to becoming better at communicating. 

Oct 04, 2011 02:47 AM