Do you have the Realtor® Gene?

I recently read an article in Field & Stream magazine that talked about finding a gene, that made some people pre-disposed to hunt, that they're calling the Hunter's gene.  (as opposed to the 'gatherer' gene).

that's right... I read Field & Stream magazine... I'm a manly man!

well, I've read a copy of Field & Stream, that I found at my dentist's office...

okay, okay... I've heard of Field & Stream magazine... you've beaten it out of me ... are you happy now?!

It made me wonder if there's a Realtor gene.  So of course, I did the only sensible thing that I could do to determine if there was such a thing as a Realtor gene.  I devised a short quiz to see if you have the gene... so please answer the following questions and we'll see if you have the gene.

1. You are driving around on a beautiful sunny day, and you pass a lovely red brick, center-entrance colonial that has an "Open House" sign out.  Do you;
   a) Keep driving to the golf course.
   b) Check your hair in the rear-view mirror, and call your spouse on the cell phone.
   c) Wonder what a "colonial" is.
   d) Screech to a halt, and immediately go inside to check out the house and ask the Realtor holding the open house lots of questions about the house, taking a listing sheet with you when you leave, and taking one last longing glance at the house as you drive past thinking "geeze they are way overpriced, and what were the thinking with those drapes?"

2. Your spouse suggests that now that the kids are out of the house, you should consider moving to a condo.  You;
   a) Turn up the volume on the television, 'cause his/her constant nagging is interfering with your ability to hear the news.
   b) Mumble "yes dear", and go back to reading the back of the cereal box
   c) Begin crying and say "but I hate moving"... whimpering like a little girl.
   d) Say "you know... that's just what I was thinking" as you pull out the brochures and listing sheets that you've pulled from wandering through some of the open houses that you just happened to run in and out of on the last several weekends... "We are so in sync", and rub noses and go back to pasting your family photos into the decoupage album.

3. You realize that parking your "baby" in front of the house, is causing her finish to fade, and the constant bird-droppings are staining the convertible top.  You:
   a) Take the car to the local car wash.
   b) Take the car to the local hand-wash, and buy an annual membership, so you can take it in for a free monthly detailing and hand-waxing to preserve her glistening surface.
   c) Begin investigating the cost of building a garage in your spacious back yard.
   d) Immediately consider moving to a house with a 2-car garage so both you and your spouse can park your cars away from the elements, and purchase an annual membership in the TurtleWax of the month club.

4. Your telephone drops an important call.  You:
   a) Call your cell phone carrier and complain.
   b) Call your cell phone carrier and ask if you need a software upgrade, so that you don't continue to drop calls.
   c) Call your cell phone carrier and complain bitterly, causing the woman on the phone to sob, and then insist they give you a $50.00 credit to keep your business.
   d) Immediately turn in your old cell phone, and purchase the latest greatest i-phone or android, well before you're eligible for an upgrade, paying hundreds of dollars for the new phone, and add all the accessories, including a car charger, a new bluetooth device for the car, a leather holster that matches your purse/dashboard, an extra battery, and a desk charger for your desk, and one for home.

5.  You get a traffic ticket for talking on your cell phone while driving. You:
   a) Go to court to contest the ticket.  After all, it was an emergency call.
   b) Add the ticket to the pile of tickets you have.
   c) Pay the ticket online.
   d) Call your friend the judge, and invite her to lunch, remind her how you covered-up her daughter's out-of-control party with the local homeowners association, and ask innocently if she can make this ticket 'go-away'. Immediately afterward you purchase a brand new car with built-in bluetooth, so you never get that ticket again, and built-in-navigation while you're at it... and give your old car to your daughter to drive.

6.  You hear that interest rates have dropped to historic lows. You:
   a) Wonder if that means that your credit card minimums will become more tolerable.
   b) Wonder if that means our spouse will be spending MORE time at Nordstrom's and Needless Markup.
   c) Figure that your child's student loans can finally be combined into a low interest loan, easy payment.
   d) Imagine this is the perfect time to refinance your mortgage into a 15-year product, and take the savings and plan a 5-day trip to the Turks and Caicos islands, and figure out how to make it a 'work trip' and make it tax deductible and an annual event.

Okay... there are certainly more questions I could ask...but this is a good sampling.  So, what are the results?

If you answered a, b, or c to any of the questions, you have clearly found your way to Active Rain accidentally, and you should quickly make your way back to Pogo, or Yahoo, or Amazon, and download a game, or a book, and go back to your life as a civilian.

If you answered "d" to any of the questions, you are hooked, hooked, hooked.  You have the gene, and there's nothing for you to do but surrender to the need, get your license and stop wasting your time as a doctor, lawyer, or teacher... and get yer ass into real estate as soon as possible.  (I hope your spouse makes a lot of money!).

(255  -29)
 
Man, the holiday season sucks!