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I Did It Julie -- And It Felt GOOD.

By
Services for Real Estate Pros with Real Estate Shows

Trevor KottI’ve been feeling a little too helpless lately.  Friends and family members are having serious, life threatening health problems, and there’s not a darn thing I can do about any of it.  It’s out of my hands.

I HATE feeling helpless.  And I hate to be afraid.  When I was in high school I was afraid to get up in front of people and talk, so I joined the drama class.  That’ll get you over your fear of speaking in public pretty fast.  After I’d been the victim of an armed robbery I wasn’t fond of guns.  I had my brother the cop show me how to shoot, and I became a little more comfortable with them.  I don’t let fear own me, and I don’t put up with feeling helpless.  I DO something about it.

This one was a little harder, because I couldn’t think of a way to make things better.  Honestly, other than being supportive, there’s just not much I can do for them. 

But there’s plenty I can do for someone else. 

Tonight I remembered Trevor.  You probably remember Trevor Kott, Julie Ferenzi told us about him.  He was a beautiful child who needed a bone marrow transplant.  He didn’t get it, and he died.  I planned to get tested, but he was already gone before I could.

His sweet little face has stayed in my mind. 

I can’t help the people that I’m worried about now, and that … honestly it bugs the hell out of me.  Why mince words?  I want to fight for them, but when their bodies have turned on them, what can I do???  Nothing. I pray.  I want to DO.

I have to learn to stop letting what I can’t do get in the way of what I can.

Tonight I registered to be a bone marrow donor.    I joined the National Marrow Donor Program, answered some questions and charged $52 to my credit card.  They’ll be mailing me a little kit with some swabs to collect a few cells from the inside of my cheeks.  How easy is that? 

About one in two hundred registered donors has actually donated, so I guess it’s not all that likely that I’ll be a match for someone.  If I am, it will take about 30 or 40 hours of my time.  I might be a little sore (depending on the type of donation) and it will take four to six weeks for my body to replenish what I give.  That’s it.  I can possibly save someone’s life with $52 and a little of my time.  BARGAIN.

I can’t save the people I’m worried about, but I can damn well try to save someone else.  Somebody else is feeling helpless about someone they love, but maybe I can make it better.  Maybe for somebody, I can make all the difference in the world.  God, I hope so.

And I’m a blogger – so maybe I can also help by telling you.  Here it is, passed from Trevor, to Julie, to me, to you.  DO something.

Comments(26)

Sarah Cooper
Real Estate Shows - Hurricane, WV

Kathy - There are SO many ways to help, you're right!  It just took me a while to think of ANYTHING I could do that would make me feel better.  Everything else going on makes me feel like I have no control at all.  At least with this, I could be helping someone who feels even more helpless than I do right now.

Mary - Stuff like this doesn't bother me, I give blood all the time and this is kind of along the same lines.  I can make more.  :o)  I trust God and can leave things in His hands ... but I hate feeling useless.  This helps.  And I'm sure that God built me to feel this way for a reason.  Maybe I will get to help someone.

Oct 29, 2007 12:45 PM
Ann Cummings
RE/MAX Shoreline - NH and Maine - Portsmouth, NH
Portsmouth NH Real Estate Preferrable Agent

Hi Sarah - just curious why it costs something to be a donor?  I hadn't heard of that before.

Good for you - and good for any that you end up helping!
Ann

Oct 29, 2007 01:12 PM
Missy Caulk
Missy Caulk TEAM - Ann Arbor, MI
Savvy Realtor - Ann Arbor Real Estate
Sarah, we reap where we don't necessarily sow, our job is to plant seeds, you have done that by donating to Trevor whom you haven't met, but the growth could come somewhere else.
Oct 29, 2007 01:21 PM
Kelly Sibilsky
Licensed Through Referral Connection, LTD. - Lake Zurich, IL
What a wonderful thing you are doing. I'm sure you feel so much better, empowered even, because you are doing something proactive. I applaud you!
Oct 29, 2007 01:27 PM
Julie Ferenzi
john greene Realtor - Plainfield, IL
Julie Ferenzi

Sarah, that was so beautifully written!

I know what you mean about feeling helpless, I've been there with my family many times before.  What a great attitude and wonderful way to honor Trevor! 

The impact his important little life had on this world will never be able to be measured. His memory will continue to give hope in the generosity of strangers. 

Desiree was right too. I did get to meet Trevor's mom Angela, and she is truly a pillar of strength. 

I have no doubt that your tribute to Trevor will continue the cycle of giving and save someone's life!

Oct 29, 2007 02:10 PM
Paul Slaybaugh
Homesmart - Scottsdale, AZ
Scottsdale, AZ Real Estate
Good for you, Sarah.  I never read of Trevor's story, but that is absolutely heart wrenching.  My boys don't look all that different.  I applaud your commitment to helping whenever and wherever you can.  As Jason's newly appointed junior assistant moderator, I am featuring this one for all to see.
Oct 29, 2007 02:35 PM
Jason Crouch
Austin Texas Homes, LLC - Austin, TX
Broker - Austin Texas Real Estate (512-796-7653)
Paul did a great job in featuring this one in my group.  Great post and a great idea.  I had no idea what was required to do this. 
Oct 29, 2007 06:14 PM
Chris Griffith
Downing-Frye Realty, Bonita Springs, FL - Bonita Springs, FL
Bonita Springs Listing Specialist - Agent
I live in a household influenced and effected by a transplant recipient.  It can't be put into words what it means to families to recieve a life saving donation.
Oct 29, 2007 08:49 PM
Christina Williams. REALTOR® TN property search & local insights
First Realty Company - Crossville, TN
Wonderful post.. No better way to change the world than to do it yourself! Thanks
Oct 29, 2007 09:03 PM
Sarah Cooper
Real Estate Shows - Hurricane, WV

Ann - It costs $52 to do the tissue typing.  Sometimes they do drives where the cost of typing will be covered by donations, I know Julie and Rocky Turner were involved in these for Trevor.  Also, this is a pretty big commitment.  They don't say this on their site, but I would guess that it also weeds out the unsure.  I would think that if you're willing to pay for the tissue typing yourself, you're probably pretty serious about being a donor.  

Missy - I hope so!  Either through helping with this kind of donation or somewhere else, I hope it carries on.

Kelly - I DO feel better!  I hate to feel powerless, and this let me DO something.  It makes a difference.  And hopefully it will make more of one to someone else.

Julie - I am so glad you wrote about Trevor.  I never would have known about him otherwise, and his too short life has GREAT impact on this world.  I think he has probably saved countless others who just didn't know about the need, or how to give.  You made a difference, and I know he's changed the world for other families.  Thank you.  He even helped me, because I feel a little better, and less powerless.  He gave me a way to fight back and I NEEDED IT.

Paul - Thank you for the feature.  This is one that I'd love to have lots of people read -- and react to!  Whether they want to be a donor or not, maybe it will inspire some other kind of giving.

Jason - There are also two different ways to donate if you are a match.  One is similar to donating blood, the other is a surgical procedure done under general anesthesia.  The doctors decide which one is necessary.  There's a lot more info on their site, if you'd like to look around.

Chris - Stuff like this ... it doesn't hurt me to give.  To me, it feels very similar to donating blood.  I make more and it might save somebody.  I do it every chance I get.  Donating bone marrow is a little more of a commitment, but if I get to do it, I know that I will be REALLY helping someone.  You got to keep someone you love, years together you might not have had.  I am wanting that so badly for the people in my life, but I can't do it.  But maybe I can give it to someone else.  Best I can do.

Christina - :o)  That's it exactly!  I have to be the change I want to see in the world.  Or, as in the Prayer of St. Francis, "Let it begin with me."

Oct 29, 2007 09:12 PM
Diane Aurit
LKN Realty, LLC - Mooresville, NC
Lake Norman Real Estate
What an inspiration you are and how wonderful the way you turned a helplessness into a proactive way to give and make a difference!
Oct 30, 2007 02:16 AM
Jeff&Grace Safrin
F.C.Tucker 1st Team Real Estate - Valparaiso, IN
SpousesSellingHousesTM

Wow Sarah, this is Living Your Faith, God Bless You - I will keep those you love's health in my prayers for healing.

Take Care

Grace Safrin

Oct 30, 2007 03:45 AM
Cait ODonnell Donohue
Red Key Realty Leaders - Frontenac, MO
Sarah GOOD FOR YOU! Yes I'm shouting! I have been on the registry for at least 10 years...never been called. I  wish I could , I can't think of anything better than being able to help someone like this. When my father was ill he received many blood transfusions. I decided then to give back...now I regularly donate blood. It just makes me feel good to know I am helping someone else. Such a small inconvenience...such a big help.
Oct 30, 2007 06:56 AM
Sarah Cooper
Real Estate Shows - Hurricane, WV

Cait - I donate blood regularly, too.  I think of it the same as you, it's a small thing to me, but really helpful to someone else.  Let me know if you do get called, OK?  We stay in until we're 61 -- that's lots more time to be a match for someone!

Grace - Thank you so much!  My friend had her first chemo yesterday and she feels fine, she just has a headache.  I feel better somehow, just that it's started and so far, so good.  (Yes, I know it gets harder.)

Diane - I don't like not being able to make it all better.  Really, it bugs the crap out of me!!  This helped.  And hopefully it will help someone else even more.

Oct 30, 2007 07:36 AM
Maggie Dokic /Indialantic | 321-252-8696
Magdalena Dokic - Indialantic, FL
Selling the beach in Florida's space coast
oh Sarah, your heart is huge.  I'd love to consider it but I would want details.  What exactly is going to cause the  "soreness?"  I'm such a chicken at times.  You're so good.
Oct 30, 2007 02:01 PM
Chris and Maria Jeantet
Shasta Living Real Estate - Redding, CA
Top Realtors in Redding CA

I think you said it well in your post Sarah - when you can't do anything about the things you can't control...PRAY! Even for things that you can control.  Prayer is so powerful yet it is the last thing people think of, sometimes it's never even thought of. It is through the power of prayer that people are healed, and not because the people have the power but because God had the power and the will to answer their prayers.

Loved your post and thank you for encouraging us to be donors!

C&M

Nov 01, 2007 06:52 AM
Jason Crouch
Austin Texas Homes, LLC - Austin, TX
Broker - Austin Texas Real Estate (512-796-7653)

Sarah - I included this post in the weekly wrapup for "Family Ties".  Thanks for including it there.

Nov 02, 2007 10:45 AM
Diane Velikis
Coldwell & Banker Busch Real Estate - Luzerne, PA
Luzerne County Real Estate
Sarah, I understand how feeling such a heavy burden for others can impact change by raising awareness, and praying in agreement with one another. Sorry for being a little late, but your featured in Spiritual Rain
Nov 04, 2007 12:33 AM
Hugh Krone
Weichert Referral Associates - Hamburg, NJ
Realtor, Sussex County NJ

Sarah,

 You're a special person

 God Bless You

Nov 04, 2007 12:02 PM
Sarah Cooper
Real Estate Shows - Hurricane, WV

Hugh - We're ALL special people.  (But thank you!)

Diane - Wow, thank you for the feature!!  :o)  I've been frustrated by what I can't do.  This was one thing I could.  I feel better.

Jason - Thank you!!  Hopefully someone else will see it and think of a way to help someone.  *Hint-hint if that "someone" is reading this!*

Chris & Maria - I pray all the time.  Especially in the car ... I don't know why, but I do.

Maggie - "Soreness" would be if they have to take the bone marrow from your hip.  It could just be taken like you're donating blood -- it's up to the doctor to decide which is best for both people.  I don't mind stuff like that.  I feel like crap for a couple days every time I give blood, and it still doesn't stop me.  I'll make more, so I'll share.

Nov 04, 2007 08:53 PM