Sometimes I wonder if people are even aware of how their properties are marketed, but presume that as this is the highest value thing they own and might be selling they would take some interest and give guidance to the agent they hire, so with tongue in cheek these are ways to NOT sell your home.
Hire an agent that it took you at least five phone calls to get them to respond
Hire an agent who is only available part time and does not work weekends
Ask the agent not to put any measurements in for any room, just in case they might be wrong.
No photos or only a few and those of the outside on a wet and rainy day, make sure your furniture is well illustrated even if the room cannot be seen.
If a photo of a bathroom is included, make sure the seat is up
As for price no regard to the market, just pick a number out of the air
Do not clean the house, leave dishes in the sink and trash spilling out of the trash can
Make sure the description of your home is as short as possible with little or no indication of any upgrades
Showings with 24 hours notice and only when your agent can be there
Be present for all showings to control the attack dogs
Make sure any buyer is aware of what you paid for the house at the height of the market
Let buyers know you are unwilling to fix any issues that might arise in a home inspection
Do not offer a home warranty
Make clear that no sellers assists will be considered,
No FHA mortgage is acceptable
Offers will only be considered during week days after 10 am Mondays and before 4 pm on Fridays
Sounds like a suitable listing for Halloween, believe it or not all of these can be seen in most MLS systems at different times. Can you think of any other horrors?
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