I Would Hate For Someone To Think I'm Unprofessional Because I'm A Good Dad...

Real Estate Agent with Tutas Towne Realty, Inc. SL3226489

Me and my little buddyI saw a question on Zillow yesterday where a first time home buyer was asking whether it was a good idea to fire her real estate agent and find someone new. The short version is: the buyer is using financing, they are in a pretty low price range (60k-85k) where the competition is mostly cash buyers and they keep getting outbid, the buyer wants the realtor to show them homes as they come on the market immediately, as in: at 7pm with 10 minutes of advance notice. The buyer is upset that their offers keep getting out-bid and that their agent can’t show them homes immediately when they pop up on the market.

Both of these things are unrealistic expectations. The fact that they need financing to buy a home is not something that their agent can control. The fact that their competition is made up of cash buyers who’s offers are more attractive to sellers is also something their agent can not control. The fact that their agent can’t just show up at a seller’s home is, again, not something their agent can control. Agents normally have to make appointments to show homes to a buyer. The seller may not want someone tromping through their home during their dinner meal. Or the buyer’s agent might have a family and already have plans for the evening.

The buyer called the agent out for being unprofessional because their offers weren’t being accepted and they couldn’t go immediately to see homes when they popped up in the MLS. All in all it sounds like there is likely a failure to communicate somewhere in this situation. It’s a team effort and for a team to function all of the team members need to be communicating.

It sounds like the agent is doing a good job to me. Please keep in mind that your Realtor may have a family, other commitments, other appointments etc. We all try to be as available as we can. But we do also have a life outside of real estate. I'm the father of 4 beautiful kids and the husband of a wonderful wife. If at all possible, I try to spend my evenings with them. I would hate to think someone thought I was unprofessional because I do my best to be a good husband and dad. Just something to think about....


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Leslie Ebersole
Swanepoel T3 Group - Saint Charles, IL
I help brokers build businesses they love.

 A decent cash offer in the first few days will trump a decent offer with financing in the first few minutes. 

Congrats on feature.

Nov 10, 2011 01:11 PM #107
Michael Dagner
Brokers Guild Classic - Denver, CO
Your Denver Homes Realty Expert

Hi Nathan, it's obvious you have the right priorities. I wouldn't give it too much thought.

Nov 10, 2011 02:11 PM #108
Andrew Mooers
Northern Maine Real Estate-Aroostook County Broker

Have lots of homes in the lower price range and plenty for everyone. The ganging up and throwing stones against others in the same profession, don't do it.

Nov 10, 2011 10:30 PM #109
Margie Kopp Sorrell
Coldwell Banker Lake Oconee Realty and Lake Country - Greensboro, GA
Lake Oconee Real Estate

We all get in to the business knowing it's not the standard 9-5 but too often there are people like these who take advantage of that. I wonder if it has anything to do with all the "real estate is in the can" talk that everybody hears now and days that makes them think we're so hard up for a sale that we're willing to sacrifice anything, including precious time with our families.

Nov 11, 2011 03:59 AM #110
Liane Thomas - Corona & Riverside Real Estate
BROKER Allison James Estates & Homes BRE 01885684 - Corona, CA
Bringing you Home!

If you call the doctor at 7pm, he isn't available either. My CPA doesn't answer his phone after 5pm. My hairstylist works late one day a week. Seems to me that we should be allowed to take evenings off, especially since most of us work at least one of the weekend days...

Nov 11, 2011 04:30 AM #111
alan grizzle

Our clients ned to understand that they aer not the only person we arw working with, We cannot be in two places at the same time and we also have apersonal life. I have found that it is a waste of time to work with someone who expects you to be available for them 24/7. You will bust your butt for them a new listing hits the market. They see it on the system you set up for them, they call yo can't drop what you are doing they call someone else to show them the one house and they buy from them. You get nothing for the 20 homes you drove all over everywhere to show them.

I sent an email two days ago telling someone to never ask me to show them another house.

Nov 11, 2011 05:19 AM #112
Allyson Hoffman
RE/MAX Villager (Chicago North and North Suburbs Real Estate) - Northbrook, IL
Making Today's Dreams Tomorrow's Reality!

The buyer is unreasonable and unrealistic.  You are not.  You can't even get your doctor on a schedule like the one suggested here.  They'd tell you to go to the hospital if it is that urgent and then you'd be in a queue there or filling out paperwork before you would get to see the emergency room physician.  Sounds like the buyer needs a heart-to-heart about the cause of their situation and if they still insist and don't see the light or the prudence of the fact that you have a life and that family comes first, I'd show them the door, nicely of course and don't let it hit them as it leave -- just in case they have an epiphany!

Nov 11, 2011 05:56 AM #113
Debora Nichols
Residential Sales, Purchases, Investors, Vacation Homes - Phoenix, AZ
Realtor Anthem,Phoenix,Scottsdale,Glendale,Peoria

Sooo True.  I get calls like that from time to time.  The buyer upset with their current Realtor and wants to make a change.  As professional I think we need to spend a little time to educate the buyer.  Even if they are not your client.  Remember, if you try to pick up a buyer from a call like this, they could become your nightmare as well.  

Great post.  Thank You

Nov 11, 2011 08:12 AM #114
Michael Singh,Broker
Singh Real Estate - Corral de Tierra, CA

Being a good husband and Dad is much more rewarding than a unrealistic client.

Nov 11, 2011 09:35 AM #115
Bob Miller
Keller Williams Cornerstone Realty - Ocala, FL
The Ocala Dream Team

Amen Nathan,  You said it perfect.  Enjoy your son, that is more reward than any $60k buyer will be!

Nov 11, 2011 11:20 AM #116
Steven Pahl
Keller Williams Tampa Properties - Tampa, FL
Real Estate Consultant Tampa, FL 813-319-6423

If we called that same buyer in the middle of the week and the middle of the day and said "this great home just came on the market and it matches all of your criteria", would they drop everything that second and rush over to meet us?  Probably not!

Nov 12, 2011 04:02 AM #117
Karen Crowson
Alain Pinel Realtors, Pleasanton, CA - Livermore, CA
Livermore Wine Country Homes

Demanding and unrealistic clients aren't where I want to spend my time.  When I encounter a buyer with little money and big ideas, we have a heart to heart. They have to be realistic about their purchasing ability and the competition. Their WANT does not necessarily match up to reality.

Nov 12, 2011 04:35 AM #118
Steven Zimmerman
Belloise Realty Tropical - New Port Richey, FL
Husband & Father, @Gulf_Harbors Resident Realtor


Good morning & great post. While I will not comment upon the unrealistic expectations of the Buyer in question, I will say the following;

I am a very Proud Father [and Husband] of one (just) Teen Son who plays 4 sports. My Love for Him and Real Estate can easily be seen all over my Facebook page]. I bring my Family Life into everything I do, and am Very Clear when meeting with New Clients about my Love and Interests [one of which is being a Volunteer Coach for my Son's Pop Warner Tackle Football Team].

I deal with [some] 1st time Home Buyers, but mostly Second/Vacation Home Buyers & Investors - All People - and I have been quite blessed where most of these folks also have Families. Now maybe I've just been lucky all these years, Never Missing any of my Son's Games [and only being late to less than a dozen Practices], and call me a  ...  but there is NO One Transaction that is going to change the Quality or Lifestyle of My Family -  Yes, I said it !  Don't get me wrong, I work hard, and stay up with the Moon to compensate, but sometimes unrealistic is just that - and growing up in Retail, my Mother told me; "Don't be to upset, because there will always be some people you can never make happy, but it will be because its them, and not you."

I've also told this to my Son.

Be well & enjoy your Family, because as we've seen of late, everything else really is second !

Steven Zimmerman, Realtor, Husband & Father !


Nov 14, 2011 01:35 AM #119
Kevin Vitali
EXIT Realty- Massachusetts Short Sales & Residential Sales - Tewksbury, MA
Helping Massachusetts Home Buyers and Home Sellers

Its tough when your bidding on investor properties where 90% of the offers are cash.  It happens.  It is also for buyers to note that the stronger their pre-approval letter the better.  If it all possible this buyer may want to consider a buyer ready program where they have conditional mortgage commitment and just waiting on the property.

Nov 14, 2011 09:07 AM #120
Jamie King
Hoty Enterprises, Inc. - Huron, OH
Sandusky, OH

Talk about unrealistic expectations! Not only do most agents have lives, they have other buyers and sellers, as well. What this buyer needs is some new agent that is inexperienced and very hungry for a sale. He/she will most likely put up with such abuse.

Nov 15, 2011 07:05 AM #121
Missoula Valley Properties, LLC - Missoula, MT

As I've said before it's impossible to be reasonable with unreasonable people. Sounds to me like no matter what extreme the agent will go to to please this client, it won't be enough. Sometimes we have to cut the cord and move on.

Nov 17, 2011 02:18 PM #122
Dawn A Fabiszak
Private Label Realty ( Denver metro area, Colorado - Aurora, CO
The Dawn of a New Real Estate Experience!

Nate ~ the way I see it is Family First!  And if a buyer doesn't see it that way, that buyer has no respect for you.

Nov 17, 2011 02:55 PM #123
Sylvie Stuart
Realty One Group Mountain Desert 928-600-2765 - Flagstaff, AZ
Home Buying, Home Selling and Investment - Flagsta

Some buyers think that another Realtor will be able to get results when really it is out of our control. We can influence some aspects of the transaction, but this isn't one of them!

Jan 20, 2012 01:46 AM #124
Matt Robinson
Professional Investors Guild - Pensacola, FL

Preach it brotha!  I'm also the father of 4 small kids (including a red head) and I'm sure there are a few people who may think I'm not the best agent because I'm a good dad.  And I don't care.

I used to be Johnnie-on-the-spot, and if you called me while I was mowing the lawn, I would leave it half mowed...splash on some cologne...and out the door.  After about 5 years of that, and a few kids, I realized it was unsustainable and not good for my family.

Now I have boundaries, I say no a lot more, and if I have to lose a client over it every once in a while...so be it. 

May 01, 2012 09:48 AM #125
Wayne B. Pruner
Oregon First - Tigard, OR
Tigard Oregon Homes for Sale, Realtor, GRI

My family comes first. I babysit my granddaughter on Fridays. I do nothing else that day. Period.

Oct 16, 2012 01:29 AM #126
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