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Overcoming The Sting Of The Bridesmaid Not The Bride

By
Real Estate Agent with Keller Williams Realty 0575737

BridesmaidIn looking around in life at "getting something" sometimes at a point in time we fall short. It is especially hard to take when "another" seems to get what we want. You know always the bridesmaid not the bride. We need to learn to

Overcome The Sting Of The Bridesmaid Not The Bride.

We in general are happy for friends getting ahead but harder feelings come in to play with those we compete with or downright enemies seem to get all the spoils while we remain on the sideline. Surely we are not "as happy" for them. You see it in multiple bidding for a home you want when you lose out. Or a relationship you are working on leaves you the wallflower without the dance.

There is a saying in pursuing something too hard, that watch out what you wish for cause you might get it. Oftentimes what we think we want, at least right now, is not best for us. We really just don't want to be left standing alone missing out on acceptance of ourselves and even the recognition we think we deserve. We don't really mind the other person getting "theirs", but where is "ours"? Getting no acceptance and recognition is a very lonely and empty feeling and no wonder "it hurts."

The KEY to overcoming this feeling left out is to understand that "we are on our own path." Everyone's timing in life is different. That bride from a year ago may be pregnant and left by her deadbeat good for nothing hubbie a year from now while your long awaited Prince Charming King who was devoted to you in the shadows finally materializes and YOU are the one truly living happily ever after. That home you wanted so bad was not as good as the one you "eventually" landed. Go with the concept of accepting what is meant to be as good for you.

Life UNFOLDS in due course. Go with life Do not do comparisons with others so much. Just think about YOU and be at peace with life is as it should be and everything for you shows up at just the right time.

Comments (10)

Lisa Dunham
Alexandria, VA
Associate Broker, Alexandria Virginia Real Estate

Great Post Gary!  I agree ... EVERYTHING ... shows up exactly when it is supposed to.  All we need to do is wait patiently and be encouraged!

Nov 10, 2011 03:12 AM
Debb Janes
Nature As Neighbors - Camas, WA
Put My Love of Nature At Work for You

Gary - It's a hard lesson to learn and envy/jealousy can be a toxic emotion. l love the words "we are on our own path." 

So true too, is your assessment that we have no idea what is really going on in a person's life - it may look beautiful, but be a real mess.

Grateful for your posts filled with words of wisdom.

Nov 10, 2011 03:26 AM
Cathy McAlister
Cathy Ashley McAlister, GRI CDPE - Broker / Sacramento - Sacramento, CA
Sacramento DRE#00648507

There are times when I am super busy and feel on top of the world.   Lots of new clients, repeat business, winning offers and closing escrows.   But then the lull crepes back in and all goes quiet.  In the beginning I would let the quiet worry me, now I understand that there is an Ebb and Flow to life as a Realtor.  I better appreciate the moments of quiet when I can recharge by batteries.   It's all good. 

Nov 10, 2011 05:04 AM
Deb Brooks
Brooks Prime Properties Wichita Falls Texas - Wichita Falls, TX

Gary, I couldn't agree more! I have learned, through my multitudes of mistakes, that going "against" the flow just works against us. All emotions are dangerous if left unattended. Awesome post!

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Nov 10, 2011 11:29 AM
Gayle Rich-Boxman Fishhawk Lake Real Estate
John L Scott Market Center - Birkenfeld, OR
"Your Local Expert!" 503-739-3843

Oh, Gary, this is SO well-put!  Get out of your own way, be adaptable, go with the flow--all of these things are not put as eloquently, but it's the same concept. If you push too hard and it's not happening, THERE IS A REASON WHY. It just might be hard to see that when you're in the middle of it.

Nov 10, 2011 01:16 PM
Eileen Hsu
Douglas Elliman Real Estate - Manhattan, NY
LICENSED REAL ESTATE SALESPERSON

This is a good yoga mantra for sure. I think it is human nature to feeling 'left out' or sad when all others are advancing us, it may be a good idea just compete with ourselves instead of always looking at what others are doing.

Nov 11, 2011 12:12 AM
Peggy Wester
Realty Executives Integrity - Grafton, WI
Real Estate Agent Ozaukee & Washington County

A great reminder for us all. The grass isn't always greener on the other side.

Nov 11, 2011 01:12 AM
Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400
HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400 - Pikesville, MD
Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome

Gary, Your analogy is perfect...using houses and brides. We can all relate. Thanks for sharing.

Margaret

Nov 11, 2011 02:05 AM
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