I know we could all use a good laugh so here we go!

Needing A Raise:

"I have to have a raise in my commission," the agent said to his manager. "There are three other companies after me."
"Is that so?" asked the manager. "What other companies are after you?"
"The electric company, the telephone company, and the gas company."

Easy Money:

A very successful real estate broker had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family," said the man. "To show you how much we care for you, I'm making you a 50-50 partner in my real estate office. All you have to do is go to the office every day and learn the business."
The son-in-law interrupted, "I can't stand agents and hate selling things."

"I see," replied the father-in-law. "Well, then you can work in the office and take charge of some the paperwork."

"I hate paperwork," said the son-in-law. "I can't stand being stuck behind a desk all day."

"Wait a minute," said the father-in-law. "I just made you half-owner of my real estate office, but you don't like selling and hate working in an office. What am I going to do with you?"

"Easy," said the young man. "Buy me out."

Getting Fired:

A guy walks into the real estate office and hands the broker his application. The broker begins to scan the sheet, and notices that the applicant has been fired from every real estate office he has ever worked for.
"I must say," says the executive, "your work history is terrible. You've been fired from every real estate office."

"Yes," says the man.

"Well," continues the broker, "there's not much positive in that."

"Hey!" says the guy as he pokes the application. "At least I'm not a quitter."

Great Marketing:

A broker was dismayed when a brand new real estate office much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read 'BEST AGENTS.'

He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading 'LOWEST COMMISSIONS.'

The broker panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own real estate office. It read: 'MAIN ENTRANCE'

On Obtaining Listings:

A real-estate agent, had difficulty getting a listing from a customer whose theory was that "there is no substitute for experience." After he asked her a third time how many years she had been in the business, she told him: "Sir, there is a little-known historical fact that Moses brought three tablets down from the mountain-two were the Ten Commandments and the other was my real-estate license!" She got the listing.