One month ago I was interviewed by the Boston Globe and later videotaped by them about my friend from highchool Elizabeth Warren. Elizabeth and i were on the debate team together and for three years we were state champions. The Globe was trying to investigate what she was like growing up in Oklahoma City and so that were close to her were interviewed. Regardless of your politics i will tell you that Elizabeth was the smartest one in the room, unpretentious, and unconcerned about status based on wealth or what cool clothes you wore or how hot your car was. During the interview I was taken back to the early 1960's and while talking about her i relived many lessons I had not forgotten but had ceased to be in the conscious activity of day to day real estate. here is what I learned:
Investigate in depth. Too often in real estate we flit from one type of real estate to another, we get onto a new "it's the new thing" marketing on the web instead of learning completely about the tools we already have. In debate we had monster topics for being in high school especially for the early 60's. Proliferation of nuclear weapons, free trade, and socialized medicine were just a few. We went to the library like we now go to Google to learn everything about the topic. We had one topic a year so it allowed us to focus and get the depth that you need in a debate. The lesson learned was focus and get it right. I would rather see someone just blogging only, or dominating youtube.com, or being the Facebook community resource without doing anything else. Whatever you do nail that sucker before you move on.
Know both sides of topic. When we went to debate tournaments we would be teams of two and other teams of two. We flipped a coin to see who was the affirmative and who would be against. Because of this we had to be able to defend passionately and authoritatively our side. What I found was in a topic like socialized medicine, that there was good reasons on both sides. had I just put on blinders and believed that was only one truth I would have not only lost half the debates automatically, but missed out on reality. We can see now in this country extremist views that are unyielding and dogmatic, and neither side is right. At least in this business we should be able to see both sides of a transaction and create fairness for both. No one should lose, and I wish that politicians could incorporate that sense of fairness. This is where i believe our industry excels.
Know the questions to ask. There comes a time at the end of the debate where there is rebuttal. Both sides get to question the other about what was presented. To be good at this you first must listen. If your mind is racing while someone else is talking you don't take in what is meant. What I did was write down the arguments they gave before I formulated the questions. If I really knew my topic from both sides I could spot a fallacy in the argument (see above), and i could show the weakness. In real estate we have to know all the rules to ask the right question. We need to review what we originally learned especially for me after 22 years. We have to know the Code of Ethics, we have to know financing, we have to know budgeting, we have to know the math, we have to know a lot of things to know the questions that make a difference.
What does winning mean? Okay I admit it, I was and I am competitive, and I liked winning and still do. it is that debate taught me how to interpret winning without it being a ego game. If I won in debate it was not because I was an excellent public speaker which I was, it was because I presented arguments that resonated with the judges. if I lost then I had to realize that as good as i was at this, someone was better or at least the judges thought so. So much more about winning is learned when you lose. You ask yourself why you lost, was there anything you could have done about it, or was there anything I could change so that the outcome would he winning the next time. Don't ever beat yourself up about losing and remember that a perfectionist is a person who believes in failure because perfection is not an option.
Final Thoughts. I am not a person who dwells on the past but sometimes like in these interviews you can't help it. I remembered events from over 45 years ago. I remembered a debate I lost because I was familiar with what a cartel was but I learned. I remembered that there is more than just one side to an idea, and that ideas can create a paradox that is resolved in a new way of thinking. I also learned to never stop learning, that it is okay to question yourself without beating yourself up, and as I approach my 64th birthday this week that I am still growing, still questioning, and no matter how old i get that 16 year old debater is still in me, looking at both sides, and win or lose I have one topic now that I can learn about every year, helping people and families find their real estate dreams. Now that's winning!
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