A Not So Fond, Although Humorous, Trip Down Memory Lane.

Most people have no problem calling to mind the memory of their first kiss. For most of us the experience was most assuredly awkward, and for some, downright terrifying. As we were doing some spring cleaning the other day, I came across a story that my younger brother had written several years ago describing his first kiss. I just couldn’t resist posting this because as memorable as most of our stories are, I think this is probably one of the ones that stand out the most to me. Happy reading!

My Yucky Pact With The Devil

“Yuck!”  That’s how I would describe my first kiss.  I was in kindergarten at the time and had no desire to match mouths, lock lips, or touch tongues with anyone—but particularly a girl. Every little boy knew what you could catch from such young Sirens: COOTIES! I had an older brother, however, who had a streak of the devil in him. This brother, Dave, relished manipulating the little kids in our neighborhood. For example, he knew that I wanted money to buy a G.I. Joe “junle-warrior” action figure, so to exercise his power over me he offered me a nickel—if I would kiss Debra Harkins, the skinny little girl next door. Not being a young capitalist who was adverse to prostituting his principles for financial gain—Dave knew me only too well—I swallowed my pride and puckered up when Debra was brought before me. I’ll never forget how dry her lips were as we kissed. And how can I forget the cool, hard, sugary taste and smell of the red-and-white candy-cane she had just been licking? Her tongue was soft and sticky, and our mouths made sickening squishing and sucking sounds as we smooched. Once, twice, three times, ten times. My brother kept saying I wasn’t doing right and needed to do it “one more time” if I wanted to earn the nickel. It took about twenty smooches for me to wise up to the fact that I never was going to get it perfect enough for him, that he was just enjoying watching Debra and me slobber all over each other. So I stopped kissing—and, of course, didn’t get paid.

                That’s how I learned the hard way the consequences of making a pact with the devil!