Turn Setbacks Into Springboards

By
Managing Real Estate Broker with Cornerstone Business Group Inc 0225086119
http://actvra.in/qh7

The one thing I love about New Years is that it is a time to start over.  OK, you failed at your diet.  Instead of weight-loss it was weight-found, no problem.  Start over.  You didn't make the top ten agents in the US, your State, your office or your solo brokerage, no problem.  You get another chance.  You didn't make the top 30 under 30 list, no problem.  There's always the top 40 under forty list.  Begin again.

We all need points in our lives where we get another chance.  You can let life's failings derail and wreck your life, or you can pick yourself up and dust yourself off and start over.  When the economy crashed in September of 2008 my stock portfolio literally disappeared.  I had traded over 600 trades that year and was on my way to an early retirement.  My first impression on seeing the news was, "Wow, that really sucks!"  That was pretty much it.

It drives my wife crazy because I don't go crazy when things like that happen.  It wouldn't make a bit of difference if I did, but what I will do when I have more time in the office is re-establish all of my former brokerage accounts, and I will start again.  I know now, that you cannot be a trader like I was and be away from the markets for days on end.  If you do, you could end up with a negative balance in your account, and you can owe more than you invested in the stock market.  Lesson learned.

That's just one example, but we've all had setbacks.  We've all been hit so hard that we didn't think we could recover.  Maybe it was a divorce.  Maybe it was a business partner who ran off with all of the money.  Maybe it was the loss of a loved one, the end of a friendship or the alienation of a relationship.  It happens to all of us, but what we do with the pain will determine if the past controls the future. 

There are things you can do when you have setbacks that can help you not only get back on track, but they can put you on a better track.

  • What did you do wrong, if anything, in the failure?  In my day-trading days I know that I have to stay engaged all the time. You can't leave a half a million dollars on a park bench and assume it will be there when you get back.  It most likely will not.  Lesson learned.
  • What could you have done differently?  In a friendship relationship, it might be best not to spend too much time with a friend.  There is balance between what is healthy and what is unhealthy.  You can feel it down deep inside when it starts to turn unhealthy.  Listen to that inner voice. 
  • Don't set unrealistic goals and expectations.  Saying you're going to lose 50 lbs is a great goal if you need to, but it might be a bit overwhelming if you have a couple setbacks early.  Set smaller achievable goals.  When you meet them, they will inspire you to go just a little bit further.  Each success fuels the next success.
  • Talk less and listen more.  I was in a salvage yard years ago listening to a man blowing off about something.  Everyone was starring at him.  The poor guy behind the counter was making a host of apologies for whatever had offended the guy, but nothing would appease him.  Finally, the counterman asked me, "Mr. Cooper, what do you think?"  I simply said what was on my mind, "A fool is known by the multitude of his words."  The place went silent, and the bloviator left.  Problem solved for those of us listening. The company wasn't ever going to pacify him.  So, offending him was not a problem.  Listen more, talk less.
  • Approach some issues more slowly.  I'm a very fast moving person.  I make decisions very rapidly.  It's unnerving for some around me, but most issues have the answer peeking out of the issue.  If you're paying attention, you will see it.  Some do not.  In those cases, you need to proceed slowly.  If you're unsure about something, take your time.

Everyone faces setbacks at some point.  How you deal with them will determine if they have a hidden value or a heart full of pain.  Sometimes, they may have both, but in it all you can still grow and become a much wiser better person.

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Re-Blogged 10 times:

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Rainmaker
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Mike Cooper
Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Winchester, VA Real Estate Sales Pro

Excellent, Michelle.  Have a great week!!

Dec 27, 2011 08:26 PM #72
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Christine Donovan
Donovan Blatt Realty - Costa Mesa, CA
Broker/Attorney 714-319-9751 DRE01267479 - Costa M

Mike - You've given me a few things to ponder, and I think the attitude you have is great when there's nothing you can do to change what has already happened.

Dec 27, 2011 10:51 PM #73
Rainmaker
1,558,198
Winston Heverly
Winston Realty, Inc. - Atlantis, FL
GRI, ABR, SFR, CDPE, CIAS, PA

Having the confidence that you can do whatever you set your mind to do. knowing why you want to earn a fortune and living the dream by having the confidence to take action. The question everyone should ask is are you about to build that belief in 2012?

Dec 27, 2011 11:43 PM #74
Rainer
12,816
Penny Sargent
Keller Williams Realty - Temecula, CA
Realtor, CDPE,#01180805, Call me with your So Cal

What a great post Mike!  My husband and I both have the common sense to say "It is what it is."  We have our peace of mind and know that we have done the best that we can and we will continue to do so.

All is well and we just move forward even if we are crawling, keep moving forward...

Dec 28, 2011 01:21 AM #75
Rainmaker
1,125,001
Mike Cooper
Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Winchester, VA Real Estate Sales Pro

Thanks, Christine.  I hope you're off to a good week!

There you go, Winston.  Have a great week!

Good philosphy, Penny.  It will keep you sane.  8-)

Dec 28, 2011 04:32 AM #76
Rainmaker
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Bob Miller
Keller Williams Cornerstone Realty - Ocala, FL
The Ocala Dream Team

Hi Mike, very good post and thoughfully written!

May you have a Happy and prosperous New Year!

Dec 28, 2011 05:56 AM #77
Rainmaker
1,125,001
Mike Cooper
Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Winchester, VA Real Estate Sales Pro

Thank you, Bob, and the same to you! 

Dec 28, 2011 07:11 AM #78
Rainmaker
442,925
Sylvie Stuart
Realty One Group Mountain Desert 928-600-2765 - Flagstaff, AZ
Home Buying, Home Selling and Investment - Flagsta

Great post! We can't control a lot of the elements that come our way, how we respond and adapt to them is how we get through them and grow, or dwell and stagnate. You can only control what's in your control and do the best you can to become better. Happy New Year, here's to creating a great year together!

Dec 28, 2011 08:15 AM #79
Rainmaker
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Mike Cooper
Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Winchester, VA Real Estate Sales Pro

Happy New Year to you to, Sylvie.  Thanks for dropping by!!

Dec 28, 2011 09:18 AM #80
Rainmaker
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Bruce Kunz
C21 Solid Gold Realty, Brick, NJ, 732-920-2100 x231 - Howell, NJ
REALTOR®, Howell NJ Homes for Sale

All great advice, Mike. Thanks for sharing it and have a Great 2012. I'm going to try and follow most of what you've mentioned.

Dec 28, 2011 10:01 PM #81
Rainmaker
1,125,001
Mike Cooper
Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Winchester, VA Real Estate Sales Pro

Excellent, Bruce.  I hope you have a Happy, Healthy and Prosperous New Year!

Dec 29, 2011 07:47 AM #82
Rainmaker
279,024
David Ames
Zephyr Real Estate, San Francisco - San Francisco, CA
San Francisco

Mike...this is definitely one of the better posts I've read this week, and you've really nailed the whole concept of "pick yourself up and dust yourself off" (with the hope of extracting a lesson learned).  Bravo.  Great advice and a timely reminder for all of us. 

Dec 29, 2011 01:49 PM #83
Rainmaker
1,125,001
Mike Cooper
Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Winchester, VA Real Estate Sales Pro

Thanks, David.  Have a great New Year!

Dec 29, 2011 06:59 PM #84
Rainmaker
262,157
John M. Scott
BRE # 01442690, Scott Keys Properties - San Francisco, CA
Broker / Owner San Francisco Bay Area

Inspiration, that's what I have to call your post Mike. Thank you. We move slowly forward and have to take a few steps back. It can get very frustrating at times. But the confidence to somehow keep moving forward is what we have. Happy New Year 2012 - the Dragon year!

Dec 29, 2011 08:54 PM #85
Rainmaker
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Mike Cooper
Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Winchester, VA Real Estate Sales Pro

Thank you, John.  Have a wonderful 2012!

Dec 29, 2011 09:17 PM #86
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Bob Crane
Woodland Management Service - Stevens Point, WI
Forestland Experts! 715-204-9671

thanks for the motivational post Mike

Mar 28, 2012 09:06 PM #87
Rainmaker
1,125,001
Mike Cooper
Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Winchester, VA Real Estate Sales Pro

You bet, Bob.

Mar 29, 2012 04:34 AM #88
Rainmaker
1,002,407
Sharon Parisi
Keller Williams Dallas Premier Realty - Dallas, TX
Dallas Homes

Mike, this is a very inspirational post and I found it at just the right time, on just the right day!

Jul 22, 2012 11:05 PM #89
Rainmaker
309,494
Jane Chaulklin-Schott
TEAMCONNECT REALTY - (407) 394-9766 - Orlando, FL
TeamConnect Luxury Homes - Orlando, Florida, 32836

Great Post, Mike...Came at a good time for me...I had a theme, a plan, a goal, and I was succeeding until ~  Yep! a Setback. Thank you, Mike. I see where I went wrong. Need another chance! The path I was on was a good one, I just deviated from the path.

Apr 13, 2013 08:36 PM #90
Rainmaker
1,002,407
Sharon Parisi
Keller Williams Dallas Premier Realty - Dallas, TX
Dallas Homes

Mike, I was drawn to this post by the title.  I love the phrase "Turn Setbacks into Springboards."  It's a good reminder to do just that!

Apr 17, 2014 07:47 PM #91
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