As a co-founder of the group Family Ties, I know that the goal of this group is to talk about the positive experiences that we have with our families. If you've read my blogs, you will know that I often talk about the joys of fatherhood and of being a husband. In the future, the majority of my posts will talk about the great family experiences that I have on a regular basis. This disclaimer is here because I've just heard a story that is the polar opposite of what I am about, and I felt the need to express it in this forum. The following story will probably make most of you angry, and a lot of you sad, because that's how I felt when I heard the story. Here it is...
An elderly woman that is almost 95 years old was hospitalized for an undisclosed ailment. Being that she is on Medicaid, there are certain guidelines that must be adhered to with regard to treatment, especially if it is going to require home health aides. As is often the case with the government, there are low-level bureaucrats that wield too much decision-making power, and abuse that power to try and elevate themselves in the world.
This elderly woman had some health problems before, and always responded better to being in the home that she has lived in virtually all of her life. Hospitals and rehabilitation centers seem to do nothing but bring the healing process to a grinding halt. To be released, this woman needed a doctor to provide the low-level bureaucrats with documentation stating that she was well enough to be released, but still in need of in-home care.
Having dealt with government agencies personally, I can tell you that they will make you jump through hoops to provide them with the same information over and over again. It seems like they do so to get you to just give up so that they won't have to pay. The process is tedious, frustrating and maddening all at once, but if you want results, you must play by their rules. One of the rules is that if you have in-home care already, and wish to change agencies, you must have a 30-day waiting period from the time that you entered the hospital.
Realizing that the current agency that the elderly woman was dealing with was being uncooperative, one of the children of the elderly woman decided to change agencies. Being that there was a disagreement with the existing agency, the elderly woman would either have to wait out the 30 days, or hire private help until the 30-day period was up. The elderly woman had about 2 weeks until the agency change could be made, but the child that was doing all of the legwork decided that it would be best to pay for in-home care in the interest of doing whatever was possible for the elderly woman.
At a cost of about $300 per day (which is expensive), the elderly woman would be able to return to her home to recover. The total cost would have been around $4200. The child that was doing all of the legwork offered to contribute a share, and asked the two siblings to do the same, bringing the expense to approximately $1400 each.
Shockingly, the two siblings refused to contribute to make this happen. Now you may be thinking that the child that wanted to help had more money than the other two siblings, and that money was an issue. Well, this is not the case at all. The two siblings that refused to help both own homes, and come from 2-income families, as their spouses both work. The child that was willing to help has a single income and rents an apartment.
Even if the siblings weren't as well off, they still have an obligation to help, and here's why. For estate planning purposes, the elderly woman had already gifted away a lot of her savings to her three children. While the money would eventually be their inheritance, this money should be used to help the elderly woman live the most comfortable life that she can, in her own home, for as long as she is still living. Do you think that she would like to have the opportunity to re-think this estate planning decision?
Being in the real estate business, I've found that these stories are more common than any of us would like to believe. Personally, I find it deplorable to see people putting their own selfish wants ahead of the needs of a loved one. An inheritance is a way of passing something along to those that you care for most in the world. It should NOT be treated as money that is "coming to you."
Personally, I would just as soon see that the people that I care for live as comfortably as they can, even if it means that they use up every dollar that they ever saved. I can't even fathom a scenario where I would make a future inheritance more important than the life of a loved one.
The world is filled with people that feel that the world owes them something. This sense of entitlement is sickening to me, and there is no place in my life for people that think this way. Life is far too short as it is. People that have any pride at all will do whatever they can to make their own way, and not rely on someone else's demise for financial gain.
If you've this entire post, thank you for allowing me to express my disgust for the injustices that I've heard about. I certainly can't change the way that greedy people live their lives, but at least this forum allows me to shine a light on their disgraceful behavior. I promise that my upcoming posts about family will be much more positive.
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