Caution: It may be possible that the "people" that you are showing property to are actually alien beings in disguise. This can be dangerous in that:
A). You may be exposed to high levels of radiation.
B). You may be infected with foreign biological matter (ala invasion of the body snatchers).
C) You could be taking a risk of being physically abducted (on the positive side, this may relieve your spouse of your presence and actually strengthen your marriage).
D). Most importantly, you could be wasting you time because without a valid social security number and proper identification it may be impossible to procure financing for alien races. Hell, it's hard enough to find financing for regular human beings these days so forget about the extraterrestrials unless they plan on paying in cold cash!
Vigilant Realtors will look out for the following signs that may reveal you are working with a being from another world:
Client/Subject is no more then three feet in height.
Client/Subject actually shows up at your office for the appointment on time(this is extremely rare these days with human beings).
Client/Subject does not blink. Especially when told of the asking price.
Client/Subject refuses to take loan application.
Client/Subject communicates telepathically (You know this is happening when you hear words in your head like, "Where am I going to park my saucer?" or "Are there military installations close by?")
Client/Subject has strange discolored reptilian-like skin(Warning: a lot of Southern Californian Human Beings who have been over-exposed to the sun may actually appear to be alien but are; in fact, your fellow homo sapians).
Client/Subject refuses to sign a Buyer Agency Agreement(cheese balls come in all races).
What to do if you discover that you are involved with an Alien home-buyers?
Abduct them before they abduct you(get them into you car as soon as possible, nothing like a captured audience).
Practise you scripts and dialogues for a great training session(this may put the fear of God in them and cause them to quickly exit the earthly plain, you may save the planet from future invasion).
Call George Noory at Coast to Coast Am and get his wise advise and see how good of a sales person you are if you can get past the screener.
Consider yourself a diplomat for Mankind, make sure that you are polite, cordial and professional. Find out which alien is the decision maker and work it first, if you are selling the planet negotiate for the maximum commission structure.
This has been another important message from the "SPORE," The Society Protecting Oddball Realtors from Extraterrestrials.
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