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The other day I had an interestingly weird conversation with a fellow broker/friend. It started out fine, she was kind of upbeat and excited about the new year and our market improving... but it quickly took an ugly turn. After listening to her beat herself up over and over it got to be quite annoying. I was thinking 'why are you talking about yourself so negatively and how can I get you to shift this craziness? I made several attempts to turn the conversation around which went nowhere. She just kept going on and on about what a loser she is and how she screwed up so bad this past few years and she had many people telling her how terrible she was including her family.
Hey You - Put the Hammer Down Now!
For those of you that know me, as a coach I sometimes do things in an unconventional way if there's a need to get somebody's attention. This was no exception. I stood up and said ok kind of spoke real loud, Hey You - Put the Hammer Down Now! She looked at me - with surprise - and just sat there looking at me. Ok great - I now had her attention away from the waaa waaa waaa is me mode and perhaps we could get her pointed in a direction that would work so much better for her, me and everybody else in her life.
I asked her point blank - Are you hearing yourself?Why are you beating yourself up so badly? She didn't say much at first so I asked her another question? You can't possibly think beating yourself is going to make things better, do you? She truly does know better - she's a very smart broker and has been highly successful for years. Sure the last few years have been tough on all of us but she sure has done her best, in my opinion.
I shared with her an idea a shrink friend of mine told me about many years ago. - If I remember correctly it's called neuro-linguistic programming. She said that by taking a physical action your brain is more likely to make a shift and pay attention, rather than simply telling yourself something with no action involved. I then held up my arm, pretending I had a hammer beating myself up in the head... and then put the hammer down by my side. OUCH THAT HURTS!
I suggested she try it a couple of times on the spot. She did and got the picture fast...and even added a few giggles too (yes we both probably looked quite silly) LOL. I then suggested that every time she caught herself beating herself up again to immediately take the action...and shift her train of thought and a new brain pattern would develop. I don't know why she decided to go all ballistic on herself (which was so not deserved) and honestly I really didn't care about the details. She's a kind, caring friend and I just wanted to be a postive friend like she's been to me for years.
My guess is she'll be picking the hammer up and putting it down for a few days or so - until she doesn't need to pick it up and use it anymore.
Hey You - Put the Hammer Down! You deserve better!
Anna "Banana" Kruchten is one of the 12 Masters of Real Estate of the National Association of REALTORS®.
Anna Kruchten is an expert on using unique strategies for marketing, gaining new clients & training agents on how to build a successful real estate practice. Watch the video for tips on building your business.
Do you live in the Phoenix, Arizona area? Are you thinking about making a change in real estate companies?
Phoenix Property Shoppe is a small, family owned business that focuses on exceptional customer service. We're looking to hire a few good agents that are positive, motivated and honest. We don't intend to be one of the BIG BOX companies but rather a Boutique Phoenix Area Real Estate Firm offering a high level of service. If you're looking to make a change, now is a good time to consider your options.
Give Anna 'Banana' Kruchten a call at 602-380-4886 to discuss your career opportunities.
Anna "Banana" Kruchten is here to help you navigate buying or selling a home - valley wide. My blog is updated almost daily so be sure to subscribe and keep abreast of what's going on in the Phoenix Metropolitan Area.
Disclaimer: ActiveRain Corp. does not necessarily endorse the real estate agents, loan officers and brokers listed on this site. These real estate profiles, blogs and blog entries are provided here as a courtesy to our visitors to help them make an informed decision when buying or selling a house. ActiveRain Corp. takes no responsibility for the content in these profiles, that are written by the members of this community.