"TRUST Me"......... We hear that so often! What do you do?
I must say that I've seen comments lately that say:
I strongly disagree with that. I feel trust is something you earn. You build it over a period of time. I'm not going to just immediately trust someone.
They must show me they are worthy of trust.
- If you are looking for a babysitter for your child are you just going to drop them off the second you meet that new babysitter? Do you TRUST them already. Or are you thoroughly going to check them out?
- If you are going to buy a used car, are you just going to trust the seller that it's a great car? Or are you going to check it out, and maybe even get a 2nd opinion, or have a mechanic look it over.
- If you need surgery, are you just going to trust the first doctor in the yellow pages? Or might you get a second opinion as to whether the surgery is even necessary? Then FULLY check out the Surgeon that is going to perform the surgery.
I would think you are going to build a relationship, with new acquaintances and get to know more about them, then decide if they are trustworthy.
Isn't that what referrals are all about? People hire you because you are recommended by someone THEY trust.
I feel I am a very trustworthy person. I do everything in my power to keep my word and exceed people's expectations. I don't think I could live happily with myself if I failed someone. It is the most important value I have. Perform to their expectations or above, and not let them down.
I'm sure because of trust related influences in my life I have come to the conclusion that trust must be earned.
As a retired cop, I saw what happens to people who trust the wrong people. Most of the crimes that were committed began with trust, and ended with betrayal. I saw it EVERY DAY. Took reports on it. Helped victims of betrayal, and pursued suspects who betrayed. Family, Friends, Co-Workers, Aquaintances and Strangers can fall victim to Betrayal.
I say TRUST must be EARNED.
I trusted the man I chose for my soul-mate only to be cheated on, then pursued by him to take him back for more than 25 years. He said he realized he lost the best woman in his life. He will NEVER regain my trust, NEVER. He could never EARN my trust again.
I say TRUST must be earned.
Another impact on me trusting people is working on the natural gas pipeline. The stories I could tell would turn your stomach and break your heart! With trust being so IMPORTANT to me, the things I saw made me SICK.
Pipeliners usually live in MOTELS because the job moves with the pipeline as it's being constructed. Their families are usually at home and see them every couple of weeks.
They stole from employers, lied about their hours, and lied to their families. I often overheard the Friday and Saturday night phone calls of DOZENS of workers. They would get off work, and get all cleaned up, then the phone calls to their spouses would start:
"Hi honey, Just calling to say how much I love you! I'm so exhausted! We have to get an early start at work tomorrow, so I'm gonna hit the sack. I Love you! Talk to you tomorrow. Nighty-Night Sweetheart. Kiss, Kiss Kiss!"
Then off to the bars and strip clubs they went! In droves!!! OFTEN bringing some sleazy home-wrecker back to their motel rooms! There were VERY FEW that I consider were trustworthy spouses!
What level of trust do I give to others?
I could sum that up by saying folks start on neutral ground with me. I don't trust them, and I don't distrust them. I evaluate them based on their actions. I establish a relationship, get to know them, and build rapport. Sometimes they gain my trust within moments of meeting them, and other times it takes awhile to establish trust. Unfortunately some folks I decide not to trust.
In regards to TRUST in my Business Life: TRUST in my mind is the ability to believe in another person to reach a common goal. When I trust someone I feel vulnerable, I am giving up my ability to fully control the outcome of a situation. I must RELY on them to make good decisions, and protect my best interests.
When others trust in me they are doing the same. They are vulnerable to the results of my actions. They have trusted me with some control of the outcome of the transaction. I don't feel anyone owes me immediate trust. I WANT to earn it. I WANT to put them at ease, I WANT to prove I am worthy.
When I first meet a client, I'm hoping I started at neutral with them. Hopefully not being distrusted at the beginning. I do everything in my power to make a good first impression. I put them at ease, establish rapport, and don't make any promises I can't keep.
I EARN their TRUST!
This post is a submission to the ActiveRain / Adobe EchoSign Trust Contest. I could possibly win a prize. You can find out about the contest by clicking here