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"Fumbled marble" - Do Your Listing Remarks Reflect Your Life?

By
Real Estate Agent with Sotheby's International Realty BRE # 01362887

The year is rolling along at the speed of idiots! Check out these bloopers from the MLS and real estate ads, and I’m sure I’ll get no argument.  Jane Peters of Los Angeles and Michael Jacobs of Pasadena both found some great bloopers this week. I suspect this year will be a wild ride, folks!

Fumble, Bumble and Stumble

“Fumbled marble adores baths” (Fumbled agent adores martinis.)

“Somother work to be done” (Say good-bye to the mother-in-law.)

“Formal dinging room”  (Shag carpet, I presume?)

“Will maul your directly” (Said Sean Penn just before he took out two paparazzi.)

“Processing pee” (For those who wish to purchase a kidney…)

“This house has pizzas” (That explains the well-lit Domino’s sign on the roof.)

Biting the Dust Can Be Humiliating

“This is a crate house” (Then I suggest you climb inside and ship yourself to Crazytown.)

“Plaintain shutters on windows” (Monkeys crapping on window sills.)

“Submit to doc” (Not until he puts down that gigantic probe…)

“Certified insectors” (Certified by mosquitoes, I presume?)

“Sellers need  two moths to close” (Perhaps the insectors can help you out there.)

“Studding colors” (Let me guess, Viagra blue?)

Maybe There’s An Afterlife

“Turn at boweling lane” (Is that what the probe is for?)

“Posts have cemen support” (Again with the Viagra!)

That's all until next Friday, folks. In the meantime - Spell and Sell!

For more real estate humor, please visit Gwen at www.sherlockofhomes.blogspot.com/ or Agent Genius. For all your real estate needs, please go to www.LAhomesite.com

Dianne Goode
Raleigh Cary Realty - Raleigh, NC
Realtor/Broker

HI Gwen, I'm another one who came over via Mike's reblog.  Thanks for the laughter -- can't ever have too much!

Jan 20, 2012 01:42 PM
Brian Morgenweck
Power Realty Group, LLC Bergen County, NJ - Hackensack, NJ
Broker/Owner, GRI, CRS, ABR, SRS

Gwen... You just make Fridays funnier! (& after today, I needed "funny")

You've got a lot of Pizzas, yourself!

Jan 20, 2012 02:38 PM
David Shamansky
US Mortgages - David Shamansky - Highlands Ranch, CO
Creative, Aggressive & 560 FICO - OK, Colorado Mtg

Thats some funny but insanely stupid stuff. A good reason to proof read then read again before you look the fool (lol)

 

Anyway enjoyed the laugh

Jan 20, 2012 02:44 PM
Janet Jones
Just Your Style Interiors, LLC - Kihei, HI
Home Staging, Interior Redesign Kihei, Maui, Hawaii

Hi Gwen--Yeah, it's Friday and time for my weekly tearful laugh.  This week is crazy funny--especially the last one.  So love your sense of humor. 

Jan 20, 2012 04:48 PM
Conrad Allen
Re/Max Professional Associates - Webster, MA
Webster, Ma, Realtor

Is spell checking some kind of foreign experience?  Keep the bloopers coming.

Jan 20, 2012 10:29 PM
Jay Markanich
Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC - Bristow, VA
Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia

Amazing yet again.  It is frightening really.  People don't think, or edit, or both.  And that one entry must have been written first thing in the morning, while processing pee...

Jan 21, 2012 12:01 AM
Mike Cooper, Broker VA,WV
Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Neighborhood Real Estate Sales Pro

Gwen, was the boweling lane and cemen support in the same listing?  I'm thinking Freud would have had a great explaination for that one.  Yeow!

Jan 21, 2012 02:45 AM
Pacita Dimacali
Alain Pinel - Oakland, CA
Alameda/Contra Costa Counties CA

Gwen

I always look for your MLS bloopers. While laughing my head off, I make a mad dash to check my listings over and over again to make sure I am not one of these idiots!

Thanks for the belly laugh as always

Jan 21, 2012 05:39 AM
Lisa Von Domek
Lisa Von Domek Team - Dallas, TX
....Experience Isn't Expensive.... It's Priceless!

Hello Gwen,

Another great list!  Although I love the "fumbled marble", I think my favorite this time is the "studding colors"!

Jan 21, 2012 06:29 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Lisa, I love anything that's "studding"!

Pacita, I would make a mad dash myself, but I might spill my vodka :)

Mike, the boweling line came from a hara-kiri expert :) And thank you for the re-blog!!!

Conrad, English is foreign to a lot of us it seems!

Janet, I love that one, too. I know some guys who highly over-value "cemen" support!

Jay, that line may have been written after an all-night kegger.

@ US Mortgages - You are right - "insane" is the operative term here.

Jan 21, 2012 08:24 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Brian, I hope the laughter carries you through the weekend!

Dianne, welcome...and be sure to drop by every Friday for the blooper scooper.

Mary, thank you for suggesting. I agree, laughter is almost as fun as Christmas.

Jan 21, 2012 08:28 AM
Broker Patty Da Silva Da Silva
Green Realty Properties® - 954-667-7253 - Cooper City, FL
Top Listing Broker

Gwen, I have no words.. What are they thinking?!? Wait, they are not.

Jan 21, 2012 10:41 AM
Menlo Park Real Estate and Homes for Sale
Wende Schoof - Menlo Park, CA
WendeByTheBay.com - 650.504.0219 - SF Peninsula

Ahhh, Gwen!  Thanks for starting my day with a laugh!  Who says real estate isn't fun?

Jan 22, 2012 02:14 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Patty, for some people, thinking can be dangerous!

Jan 22, 2012 04:44 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Wende, real estate IS fun...but maybe for these literacy-challenged blooper perps...not so much :)

Jan 22, 2012 04:46 AM
Jane Peters
Home Jane Realty - Los Angeles, CA
Los Angeles real estate concierge services

And they go on and on.  You really should write that book, Gwen.

Jan 22, 2012 03:05 PM
Connie Harvey
Pilkerton Realtors - Brentwood, TN
Realtor - Nashville TN Real Estate

Gwen, Benita has a link to this on her featured post. I'm so glad she did because I might have missed it. Very funny indeed. Nice way to start the week. :)

Jan 23, 2012 12:38 AM
Broker Patty Da Silva Da Silva
Green Realty Properties® - 954-667-7253 - Cooper City, FL
Top Listing Broker

Gwen,

We must know some of the same people.

 

Jan 23, 2012 12:33 PM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Jane, thanks for your support, but it's hard to type while laughing my arse off!

Connie, thank you and welcome to the blooper blog, with new posts every Friday. And thank you, Benita!!!

Jan 26, 2012 07:32 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Patty, you're probably right...but I'm not sure what that says about us!

Jan 26, 2012 07:38 AM