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SANTA UNDER ATTACK DOWN UNDER

Sydney, Australia

Santa in trouble. Christmas in jeopardy.

As reported by Yahoo.com, Santas in Australia are being told to change the HO-HO-HO to something else, like HA-HA-HA. The reason: HO-HO-HO is said to be derogatory to women because of the American slang. (At least were exporting something these days...)

(THANKS, Don Imus - First the NCAA Women's Tourny - Now you've ruined Christmas, too!)

That fur-clad creep is at it again - terrifying the kiddies! The report also stated HO-HO-HO frightens little children.

Hmmmm. Maybe, just maybe - it's the 280 pound whiskey-breathed Santas wearing the unlaundered 35-year old RED costumes and those grotesquely fake beards that's scaring the kiddies - they terrify me!

Well, that's enough. I'm trying to come up with new Santa phrases to fill the void created by the death of HO-HO-HO and save Santa's job. We gotta DO something! Feel free to help me...

Santa's new "catch phrase" suggestions:

· HEE-HEE-HEE - Nope, gotta throw a "HER" in there.

· TEE-HEE-HEE - That's REALLY scary! Picture that emanating from Santa's mouth.

· YO-HO-HO - Give him a parrot and a cutlass - Santa brought his own rum.

· LA-TI-DA - Sure, if Annie Hall's coming to Christmas Dinner.

· MAO-TSE-TUNG - Naaaw - Too Political.

· HAR-DE-HAR-HAR - Heard THAT before as the nasty elf scampered off - after leaving me a lump of coal in my stocking and discovering my baseball glove and piggy bank missing. Funny man.

· HI-DEE-HO - Now, now - let's not bring that little Swiss girl into this...

· HEY-HEY-HEY - Well, he IS fat. Maybe Bill Cosby will license it this year.

· HI-HI-HI - I don't think so - reminds me of a soundtrack to a Bruce Lee movie (dubbed).

· HOWDY-HOWDY-HOWDY - Was that in Toy Story 2?

· OW-OW-OW - Keep the larger kids off Santa's bum knee. Followed by...

· OWE-OWE-OWE - The January credit card Mantra

· FE-FI-FO-FUM - This might not be kid-proof, either.

· OH-OH-OH - Only dyslexics will get this one...it's in code for the rest of us.

Well that's all I have. If you want to help, send donations to SAVE SANTA c/o my PayPal account. For your contribution, we'll tell him you've been nice. Just how nice depends upon nothing. Zero. Lots and lots of zeros in that donation.

TEE-HEE-HEE.

Posted by Art Blanchet - Stranger in a Warm Land on 11/15/2007 09:03 AM

Comments (11)

australia, art blanchet, down under, ho ho ho, santa claus, christmas

11 Comments on SANTA UNDER ATTACK DOWN UNDER

NOV

2007

I think if you are offended by ho-ho-ho, well, you need to do some deep soul searching

THAT was hysterical! Cheers to you and yours foor the upcoming holiday season. :-)

ohh boy, when Santa gets censored for Ho-Ho-Ho are any of us safe for what we say..

Santa LIVES!
:-)

Art,

Great balls of Juniper beads!

Tom Braatz

I'm beginning to be of the mind that if anything I say can offend someone, then we should all take vows of silence - or just vowing not to care what others may say or think!

Sorry to ruin your Christmas fun - maybe the kids are just crying because they miss the true meaning for Christmas!

Bah hum bug

Matthew Rosov - Matthew, there's always room for Santa in Christmas he's a wonderful tradition. The true meaning is not Santa, butsomething much more wonderful. It's up to us to gently guide these children into that knowledge - it won't be forthcoming anywhere else.

Thanks.

NOV

2007

I vote HA HA HA or WOO WOO WOO or WEE WEE WEEEEEEEE

NO NO NO?

NOV

2007

Art, I know how about CHING CHING CHING for the ringing of those cash registers. Maybe we need to kill Christmas and the retail, Days off from work and bring it back to what it should be celebrated for. Hey it just irks me in a recent study well over 80% in the US celebrate Christmas ( this was all faiths represented ) the way it is. So why do we every year have to pick on the holidays. Don't the liberals have enough to do.

SO MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE ! There I said it instead of the PC Happy Holidays..

GOOD WILL TO ALL......

NOV

2007

Dave - I agree. Lighten up a little, folks. Good job.

Kae - Thank you Kae - Happy Tanksgiving to you, too.

Steve - We aren't sfae. We're now the SeeHear and Speak No Evil Monkeys. Thanks.

Cameron - Yes he DOES!

Tom - Maybe it'll catch on...

Teri - No - NO- NO is a strong possibility, especially in January.

Doug - CHING-CHING-CHing hits too close to home for some. But that's whay it works. Hard to imagine a kid sitting on the big guy's lap and him saying that - I like it!

Happy Thanksgiving - have a great holiday.

NOV

2007

Oh good! I am glad we are still hving some sort of exports!

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