It just would not be a complete week for me if I did not spread some holiday cheer. So, for all you that are down and gloomy, I have put together 3 amazing tells to lighten your day. One of them is sure to bring a smile to your face. And if they don't, then proceed to the window, open it, and jump because all hope is lost. NO NO, just kidding.

Anyways, if this make you laugh, then please forward it to your friends and you will then in turn help to brighten someone else's day.

'Twas The Night of Thanksgiving

'Twas the night of Thanksgiving, but I just couldn't sleep.
I tried counting backwards, I tried counting sheep.
The leftovers beckoned - the dark meat and white,
But I fought the temptation with all of my might.
Tossing and turning with anticipation,
The thought of a snack became infatuation.
So, I raced to the kitchen, flung open the door
And gazed at the fridge, full of goodies galore.
I gobbled up turkey and buttered potatoes,
Pickles and carrots, beans and tomatoes.
I felt myself swelling so plump and so round,
'Til all of a sudden, I rose off the ground.
I crashed through the ceiling, floating into the sky,
With a mouthful of pudding and a handful of pie.
But, I managed to yell as I soared past the trees ...
Happy eating to all, pass the cranberries, please.
May your stuffing be tasty, your turkey be plump.
Your potatoes 'n gravy have nary a lump.
May your yams be delicious, your pies take the prize.
May your Thanksgiving dinner stay off of your thighs.

The Best Gift

Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered.

Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their mother.

The first said, "I built a big house for our mother."

The second said, " I sent her a Mercedes with a driver."

The third smiled and said, "I've got you both beat.  You know how Mom enjoys the Bible, and you know she can't see very well.  I sent her a brown parrot that can recite the entire Bible.  It took 20 monks in a monastery 12 years to teach him.  I had to pledge to contribute $100,000.00 a year for 10 years, but it was worth it.  Mom just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot will recite it."

Soon thereafter, Mom sent out her letters of thanks to her sons.

"Milton," she wrote the first son, "the house you built is so huge.  I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house."

"Marvin," she wrote to another, "I am too old to travel.  I stay home all the time, so I never use the Mercedes and the driver is so rude!"

"Dearest Melvin," she wrote to her third son, "You were the only son to have the good sense to know what your mother likes.  That chicken was delicious!"

The Parrot

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift.  The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.  Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.  John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.  

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot.  The parrot yelled back.  John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder.  John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.  

For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet.  Not a peep was heard for over a minute.  Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.  

The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions.  I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."

John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.  As he
was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued,

"May I ask what the turkey did?"