I was watching one of those real estate shows on television the other day, I think it's called 'Flip this House,' or something to that effect. It is an interesting show to observe the interactions between the Realtors and home buyers/sellers. But, what really stuck out (like a flashing red light) was the agent's inability to really really connect with their client's desires.

Don't get me wrong, this is a recurring issue not only evident in this show but with many business people as well. Here's the scenario: The buyer shows up at the realtor's office with aspirations of buying a new home. The excited realtor grabs her car keys and the two set off for a lovely day of house-hopping, in order to find the client's dream house. It was incredible to me that the realtor didn't ask many questions about what the client really wanted, I mean she did ask, how much can you spend? Do you want a pool? The area of town? But, none of the questions would ever reveal the TRUE desires of the client.

So, they carried on for days trying to find the right house... How many times have you taken a client and drove around all day trying to fit them into a house? Wouldn't it be easier and more effective to just sit down and have a 'get real' conversation with them? Of course it would. Why don't we? Fear!!!

The title of this blog is How to understand what your client really wants. Well, the answer is LISTEN. However, you must also ask questions and those questions must be based off your client's needs and not your own. Then you must listen to what your client doesn't say too.

Why we don't listen? WIIFM

WIIFM is the most tuned into radio station in the universe. The call letters stand for What's In It For ME!

Unfortunately, most of us are in it for ourselves. We don't listen because we are tuned into WIIFM. The buyer shows up and the agent mentioned above is thinking about getting a sale. Not because she is really interested in her client, but because she wants a commission check so she can buy those new 'Jimmy Choo' shoes! So, it not about the client, it's about her and her desires.

The only way to truly listen to your clients is to put their needs in first position. It means asking them questions no one else will, it means being fully present in the NOW and listening to them. True listening is untainted by you own limitations, desires or prejudices. 

When you put your client first you are creating a powerful energy. Can you mentally go back and locate a time when you had trouble finding a client a home? Now, ask yourself, is it all about my client? Or maybe, is there something else there? What was your current state of mind? Did you need to make a commission check to payoff some bills? Was Christmas around the corner and you needed extra money? The point is, were you really really putting your client in an untainted, all about them position? Or was it about something you wanted? 

You see, if you listen correctly to another person, you must be fully present. If you have other things on your mind (like your own desires) you won't be able to listen. Most of us never listen! We are focused on other things like what to say next, the problems we have etc. For a fun exercise, the next time you have a conversation with someone, observe yourself. When they are speaking, are you fully there? Or are you thinking of ways to respond, or other thoughts that rush inot your head? 

How do you get fully present in order to listen?

Focus on the other person. It is simple but not easy. Can you stop thinking about you? Ask yourself, am I really really listening to this other person? Am I putting their needs before mine? STOP yourself from mentally wandering by caring more about the person sitting in front of you than yourself. How hard is that??

When you start listening your life will dramatically change...

I have a client named Tad (ficticious name) who came into a session with me excited! Tad explained how he just listed a house and how the seller wanted to look for a new house in the area. "Great," I cheered him on. Tad went on explaining how he sat down with his new client and asked questions like he had learned from me. "Terrific!" I egged him on. Then, Tad explained the homeowner was looking for a new home a couple miles away with a bigger backyard and a pool, even though the old home had a pool already. So, I asked Tad, what was so important to the homeowner to have a bigger backyard and pool? Tad responded by saying the homeowner wanted a bigger backyard because he didn't want his kids playing in the front yard. I nodded with agreement to what Tad was conveying to me. "Tad," I asked, "Why is important to your client that his kids not play in the front yard?" Tad looked at me for a second kind of stunned, " What do you mean?" "Well, did you ask him what was so important about not wanting his kids playing in the front yard?" I pressed. "Well, I imagine he just wants them to play in the backyard," he sighed. "Sure, but why? C'mon, Tad you know there is a reason, I mean the house isn't bigger outside the fact the backyard is bigger, but everything else is pretty equal. I think you need to ask what's going on?" Tad conceited and went back to his new client to have a 'get real' conversation.

Later that week, Tad called me. He had talked again to his new client and asked him the 'get real' questions. It turned out the client wanted to move not because he wanted a bigger backyard. It was true he didn't want his kids playing in the front yard, but there was a BIG reason. Security. It turned out that someone in the area had been harrassing children and the owner wanted to protect his kids. So, he didn't really want a bigger backyard, want he wanted was more security and the client figured a bigger backyard would help solve the issue. 

However, by Tad asking the questions and getting to the real core issues and LISTENING, he was able to be of far better service to his client. ACTIVE LISTENING also requires asking questions, infact, if you are listening, I mean really listening, you'll be prompted to ask these probing questions. WHY? Because you'll actually be connecting with your client.

Okay, so here it is. If you really really really want to help your clients, then all you have to do is listen. And, by doing that simple act, you'll also create more energy for yourself. The next time you go to grab your car keys to take a client on a house-hopping run, ask yourself, "Have I had a 'get real' conversation with them? Am I serving their best interests or am I tainting thngs with my prejudices?"

If you put other's needs first you'll be able to understand what your client really wants.

Be Bold, Live Happy!