Banjo music playing......
More banjo music playing...
Some whistling too.....
Hi! Tim Mo'debt here....and as a spokesman for the great value that is No-sell 6, I make it my business to keep tabs on what those big, fancy and expensive agents like Jessica Horton are doing...
Just to see if all that extra "hoo-haw" she charges for...is...well...is stuff that you might actually need.
But, I'm happy to report....you still get nothing that you don't need when you list your home with No-Sell 6. And therefore you don't have to pay for it.
For example...here are some things you don't need from your listing agent.
First off, you don't need a "For Sale" sign.
I don't have one on my home. So, I surely don't need to put one up on yours. I'm not going anywhere...neither are you. So, it really just seems kind of pointless....once you stop and think about it.....
You don't need a complete virtual tour and multiple photos up on the internet.
If a prospective buyer does happen to show up (See #1) and wants to see what the inside of your home looks like...they can just peak in the windows and have a good look around.
It's perfectly safe...just make sure you have on clothes at all times. Although....there have been on very rare occasions....reports of buyers falling off ladders from time to time while trying to look inside.
Don't worry. This is nothing to be alarmed about...your homeowners insurance will pick it up the medical bills...
You don't need all those glossy, full color, tabloid size brochures that Jessica does either.
Do you have any idea how many tree's Jessica murders each year to give her clients those shiny things? A lot...
I would much rather kill trees to burn in my log cabin that I vacation at 5 days a week...every week. That....and it really cuts down on our $50.00 a month office supply budget. I prefer to spend that exuberant amount of money on "easy buttons" because...that is how I like things.
You don't need a lockbox on your front door.
As we've already agreed upon...there isn't going to be a "For Sale" sign in your front yard and you aren't going to be on the Internet. Nobody is going to be showing your home anyways.
What about other agents? Well, I won't be putting your home in MLS either. If they do some how find out about it...credit cards or drivers licenses usually work nicely. This also cuts down on misplaced keys.
You really don't need any state of the art & highly proactive efforts on my part either.
I don't care what you say...that pimple cream company paid Jessica Simpson all that money to do those commercials..she probably didn't even really have zits.
Now, Jessica Horton comes along and tries to make that word "Proactiv" all "state of the art" by adding an extra "E" at the end. There isn't anything fancy about flipping out the letter "E"...Vanna White has been doing it for years. Just another example of life imitating art. Completely worthless....
You absolutely... positively don't need me to provide you with weekly updates on your home.
I'm really not big on updating or those do it yourself projects either.
Besides...it's kind of hard to help you hammer down shingles or dab a little touch-up paint on the walls from 400 miles away.
So, what do you need in a listing agent?
Well...staging. And at this stage of our marketing efforts...I really don't think you need a whole lot. We seem to have you pretty well covered.
Well...now you know why agents like Jessica Horton charge so much. Although, I'm still not sure why people pay for it.
Anyways...that is all for now. Thanks for listening and thinking about listing.
We look forward to seeing you at No-Sell 6. So, we can...ya know? Not sell your home.
I'm Tim Mo'debt for NoSell 6 and....we'll remember...."Don't turn your lights off...you're probably gonna need them." You aren't going anywhere any time soon.
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THis one is very clever. I can see you put alot of thought into this one. Very nice