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It's Difficult To Take You Seriously When You Use Language Like That

Reblogger Joanna Cohlan
Services for Real Estate Pros with Fresh Eyes For Your Home

I just came across this on the mark blog from Carie Shapiro.  She makes a terrific point about the importance of communication, language and quite frankly, the hostility of profanity.    Repeated use of inappropriate language usually comes from someone who has nothing of real value to say.  Thanks for expressing this so well Carie.

Original content by Carie Shapiro

Last week, I spent 8 hours immersed in a one-day business seminar.  I was seated next to a gentleman I did not know, and throughout the day we engaged in casual conversation during the breaks.  He seemed like a very nice guy, sharp, well dressed, very personable -- and every other word out of his mouth was the “F-Word.”  The business seminar was a tremendous learning experience and I walked away with valuable and useful knowledge.  What I did not walk away with was an understanding as to why a seemingly professional person would talk to another professional person in that manner?

CursingDriverAt one time or another, we all use profanity to express anger, frustration, disappointment, or to add “emphasis” to a story.  However, I've recently been involved in some professional situations where conversations were peppered with profanity.  In the past, I've also experienced people who frequently used colorful language in the workplace.  So, when profanity is part of someone’s everyday vocabulary, do you tell that person if it bothers you?

Don't get me wrong -- I'm no lightweight.  Yet, I feel that cursing in a business-related environment is uncomfortable and inappropriate.  In addition, I find it somewhat challenging to fully appreciate what people are saying if they cannot complete a sentence without uttering the "F-Word."  I'm not too sure it's a gender thing either.  In fact, I actually think this is an equal opportunity issue.  Oh well ... I say "To Each His Own -- Live And Let Live."  I also say there is a time and place for everything.

When someone cursed in her presence, my grandmother would always declare: "Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"  Also, children of my generation were sometimes told they would get their mouths washed out with soap for using foul language.  Although I personally do not know anyone who has ever had that happen, the fear of having a bar of soap touch your lips was enough to keep most of us kids compliant.  To me, the language people choose as a means of communicating in business situations speaks volumes about their professionalism and perceived respect for others.  And, I'm just wondering -- if nobody is aware that something bothers you, why would anyone stop doing it? 

Comments(10)

John McCormack, CRS
Albuquerque Homes Realty - Albuquerque, NM
Honesty, Integrity, Results, Experienced. HIRE Me!

Zero tolerance.  This type of launage shows disrespect for self and others then toss in ignorance.  Good re-post my friend.

Feb 12, 2012 01:32 AM
Andrew Mooers | 207.532.6573
MOOERS REALTY - Houlton, ME
Northern Maine Real Estate-Aroostook County Broker

You think you are offended. You need to watch a routine Maine state trooper pull over a car and what happens, the explosion when  the drive comes unglued. You and I run in to the same escalation of emotions because real estate, like life is one big emotional experience. Losing your cool is not a skill a successful little red hen REALTOR can afford but folks we deal with have it happen all the time. Be tender hearted, tough skinned. Like a divorce lawyer's motto "Divorce is tough. So are we."

Feb 12, 2012 01:47 AM
Kathy Sheehan
Bay Equity, LLC 770-634-4021 - Atlanta, GA
Senior Loan Officer

In a business environment there is no acceptable situation that would warrant it, in my opinion.  I agree, we all get frustrated, but there are other ways to communicate your points.

Feb 12, 2012 02:37 AM
Joanna Cohlan
Fresh Eyes For Your Home - Chappaqua, NY
Designing, Decorating & Staging Westchester Homes

John, you are totally right, it shows a lack of self respect.

Andrew, yes, life is emotional but you gotta keep your cool.  My sense is that some people use profanity and expletives just for effect and really don't even need emotional provocation!  

Kathy, I'm with you, it's just vapid and it's not cool for adults-I understand 14-15 year old kids trying on a role, but hopefully they grow up!!!!

Feb 12, 2012 09:29 AM
Janet Jones
Just Your Style Interiors, LLC - Kihei, HI
Home Staging, Interior Redesign Kihei, Maui, Hawaii

Hi Joanna--great reblog and this is so true.  People will judge us both by what we do and say and using profanity nevers comes as off being professional. 

Feb 12, 2012 06:14 PM
Joanna Cohlan
Fresh Eyes For Your Home - Chappaqua, NY
Designing, Decorating & Staging Westchester Homes

Janet, people always judge us by both and if we speak this way, we won't be doing much because we'd  have no credibility.

Feb 13, 2012 01:48 AM
Sharon Tara
Sharon Tara Transformations - Portsmouth, NH
Retired New Hampshire Home Stager

I have to admit....I'm a user.  For effect, or anger or humor...whatever, I'm not shy about it and neither is most of my family.  I mostly believe words are just words.  However...the situation described here...unacceptable.  I would never use my potty mouth in a professional setting, or with people I've just met.

Feb 13, 2012 07:51 AM
Joanna Cohlan
Fresh Eyes For Your Home - Chappaqua, NY
Designing, Decorating & Staging Westchester Homes

I'm a user sometimes in private-in anger or around my family for effect, but never in public.

Feb 13, 2012 02:29 PM
Kim Gaston
RE/MAX Advantage Realty - Colorado Springs, CO
Colorado Springs REALTOR®, CNE (719)661-6987

Janet, I love your intro to Carrie's blog. I don't even like to hear "stupid" coming from my kids' mouths. I tell them it shows a lack of good vocabulary skills. Take the high road and be aware of how you sound to others.

Feb 14, 2012 02:21 AM
Joanna Cohlan
Fresh Eyes For Your Home - Chappaqua, NY
Designing, Decorating & Staging Westchester Homes

Kim, I am so with you.  I must tell you that I ban certain words from the house - my 26 year old son used to use the term "wifebeater" in describing an undershirt-I went ballistic and he got the message and never used it after that.  We have no idea the power of what we say and the ignorance that it can reflect.

Feb 14, 2012 03:31 AM